The Forgotten First Years
by XxT3ARS-OF-BLOODxX
Summary: The characters of Hamilton and Newsies go to Hogwarts at 17 after their letters got lost in the mail
1. Chapter 1

**an: wlcome to me first fnafic! I am from canada originally so my grammer and spell may be very bad and my bff rose will be editing but she was busy so for these first chapers not all will be edited but here we go i hope every person enjoy!**

McGonagall's POV

I was looking at the list of this year's seventh years. I was reading each name, remembering how much fun it was to teach them, when I came across a lot of names I didn't recognize:

Alexander Hamilton

Jack Kelly

Crutchey Morris

Racetrack Higgins

Albert Dasilba

Angelica Schuyler

Elizabeth Schuyler

Margarita Schuyler

Maria Reynolds

Spot Conlon

Katherine Pulitzer

Specs

Thomas Jefferson

James Madison

David Jacobs

Finch

Aaron Burr

Marquis de Lafayette

John Laurens

Hercules Mulligan

McGonagall is confused. She was wondering how it was possible to have missed this many people in the invitations. I realized that the invitations to Hogwarts didn't actually reach them. I decided to send them now.

 _Dear students,_

 _You have been accepted to hogwarts. You are a wizard and hogwarts will teach you magic. I am so very skrry for the inconvinience but students are suppose to go to Hogwarts at 11 and you are 17 but it seems you're invite did not come and you will cone to hogwarts as first years even though your 17. Please send letters accepting the invite._

 _Minerva McGonagall_

I signed my names and sent a owl to Dumbledore telling him about the situations. I told hum to get a new common room for them so they could all be together. I can't wait to meet them.

 **an: well that was my first chapter and i have some very good idea ffor the characters aspecally jack and alex so i am excites**


	2. Chapter 2

**an: heyyy it everest back atcha with new chaper have fun read**

Jack pov

I was sitting on the coulch at my adoptive parent house even theouggh they really don't like me and I just whant to move to santa fe.

"Hey jackey-kinz, there's a letter for you sweetie!"

I groaned and snakily picked myself off the couch.

The letter was really weirdand

I was wondering aif it was sime kind for really weird prank.

"So you wanna go to the wizard school?" My dad asked me.

Of course the answer was yes but I knew that this wasn't real so I decides to humour him. "Hell yeah my manz!"

"Dude watch you're language but have fun ay wizard school we will go and buy wizard stuff at the wizard storer tomorrow and buy wizard stuff at the wizard store tomorrow." My father rambled happilr. I kndw that this wad a really weird prank and that they would all jump out and tell me yhat ut was all a prak and be all like omg jack you fell for it? I freaking hate all of my "friends"

Later that day I met up with those friends knowing that they all know about tis prank and so I said "bye guys I'm going to this wizard school" and I was being sarcastic.

"Dude what the heck is wrong with you" my friend rose said (an: love you rose! Your the best and btw this is you)

I knew she was in on it and so I just let her pretend to be confussed.

The next day still no one would admit it was a joke so I let them tak me to "diagonally"? Whatever the hexk that was. Hinestly who even came up with thesse weird names? Hog warts? Diagonnaly? And apparently there as some thing called quid itch? I knew theyv would admit it soon but I was not going to give in before they did. I mean honestly this is the most riduculous thinf evar and who would even believe that thiss actuallt exists?

Whe wwentered "diagonaly" and i was reallllllly surprided at hiw mych work everyone putinto this prank because it was a whole village and I dont even know why these people did that but they did and it was so weird. This prank….

We walking into olivegarden to get my wand because apparently he was the best wand maker which probably means sstick colllector.

Olive (which was the owner guy) started to measure me and at that monent i almost gave in and stared talkng about how bad this prank was because I didn't like this duse touchinf me but I held it in

He gave me ine of his sticks which he had covering his wall all in little boxes but the thing was evvery. single. one of those freaking boxes had an individual stick in them and olive was talking about some crap like pheenix and dragon and fairies or whatever.

I waved one and sparks flew. I looked around for some sort of special affect lighfs but i didnt see any so I assumed that it was well hidden

After a while of lots of didfferenf things happeninf like things breaking and then finale I tries one that fixed all fo the broken glass in the room.

"Yeah man tbats the ine for you?

!" That weird actor guy olive galloped.

My adoptive father gave him these fake gold coins to "pay" for my stick.

WHO CAME UP WITH THIS PARANK IDEA THIS IS SOOOO STUPID

 **an: i think i migt pun in chapters where all characters get there hogwars letters even though that might take awhile i will put short chapters**


	3. Chapter 3

**an: heres alex getting his letter i thougt it was funnu to make him all sad and stuf**

Alex pOv

I livr in a really samlll apart mint because my dad abandonded me and my mom is dead and my brother is also dead and my cousin killed himself amd a hurricane destroyed my entire town and killed everyone I ever known and I jad to hitch hike on a boat and then they found me and beat me up angstily and them I jumped on another ship and then they found me to and took me back to the caribin and I snekd on another ship and they found me and pushed me off the ship and i swim 8 miles to shore and I begged for food and the cash and I started to sell my writing and I almost starve. But oh well these things happen :)

I realized I needed more of the cash so I shtarted to write abotber poem just like I did after I swam 8 miles to shore after I was pushed off a boat when I was found stowing away and I had none of the cash so I had to beg.

 _Wind swirling through the open door to my depressing house_

 _The couch has lots of stains like someone pooped on_

 _It_

 _The coat rack only has one coat because i dont like people_

 _My bed is_

 _The floor is stained just like a hirricane came and flooded the entire house and killed all of my neigh bars_

 _I keep living like a tree growing_

 _Roots digging into the soft ground_

I put down the pen satisfiedily.

After writing lots more poems I went to check my mail and I trotted down the stars. I saw a really weird letter with and H on it but I wasn't really sure because I can't read even though I can weite.

I plug my trashy headphone (since I'm so poor I can only afford trashy things since when I was pushed off the ship the wahte washed away ever thing I had in my pocket but not that I had much anyway because I was also poor in the care bean and everything i did has i lost when a hurrican destroy my entire house and the entire house) into the letter since I cant read and it read it to me as an aud iobook. I am a wizard whic i believe because people tlell me that it imposinle becose headphone doesn't work like that and its just like magic.

I am excited to go buy stuff for the wizard school but I'm not sure how I will afford so many stuff because the only the cash I have is from writing poem and I also used tl wrie poems in the cairy been but I had to stip after the hurricanie killed all y writing supplys menacingly.

I will cross that bridge whn I come to it

That reminds me of a bridge in mt home town and there was a bridge my fat her use to take tme to before he anandoned us.

 **an: do you like the storie? tell in reviews plz**


	4. Chapter 4

**an: i love harry potter and newsies amd hamilton do much and i cant wait til hog warts**

Katherine ppov

I was staring at the ceiling fan because I love seeling fans soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much

My mom came into the room "why are you staring at the ceilin fans that suck a weird obsession why katherine why."

My mom dont lick me bcuz she says I'm a squib who dont got no magic but I secretly practis magique sexily in private! I don't be no squid! Shes

Fine ill go do somthink else!" I exclaimed crazily.

I went to check the mail and talk to my bff the mailman

"WHAT UP MY MAN!"

Darcy saw mr and waving gladly.

You look thirsty I said pulling a car ton of melk oot of her pocket. Fence

Darcy looked grate full and chuggged the milk gratefully and bellowed "I'm so gratefull!"

"Got any mail for me this day" i asked kindly

"Yeah you got a lette f with a h on it" darcy my man said flirtily

"Oh cool" i said platonically.

I took the lettr and opened it and it was frum HOG FREAKING WARTS! Maybe it was a prank from my mom tomake me feek bas about bring a squib.

I opened it and it was real! I talked to my mom and she will let me go and she treat me lot better because I am witch now!

 **an: so.. that was chapter 4 i dont know what else tosat thes ar hard**


	5. Chapter 5

**an: here is crutchey I love critchy so much**

Crutchey pov!

I was playing with my barbies. "Hi" i said to my barbie platonically becuz i was am gay.

My mommy came in and pored me and my barbys a glass of lemon aid and she alsa got one for ma fave barbie whose name is audrey 2 sinc i broke the first audrey when on axident i axeidentally sat on her head.

I climed in tothe kit chin to get me some doritos witch are my favorte snackeys!

I sat back down in frunt o my barbie dream house amd turnd on my favorite movie which was barbi dolfin magic! I love magic so much

Speaking of magic my mommy came and gave me a leeter saying that I was a wizard! I was so excited!

"You only eight 14 bags of doritos today my mommy saif proudly

"Oh lit that means my adiction is getting better" my fingers. Are perminantly stained orange fro dorit o dust.

I dress my barbis in wizard cloths and get redy for WIZARD SCHOOL!

 **an: that was so many capters in 1 day and as i said befour rose was kindo bisy so she coudnt edit every part**


	6. Chapter 6

**an: hey its everest back agian with more chapter stiff! And rose is back so she can edit**

Lafayette poV

Bonjour my friendos! Today i am wearing shorts with american flag and a shirt also wiht the american flag and sunglasses with american flag and shoes with america flag and dont tell any one but my under panties are american flagg to shhhhhhh

Some people think it weird and i known bcause they stare at me while I walk to places and I am french.

I just love AMERICAA

As I walk i pulled out me frencg food from my pocket and ate it because I also hlove france!

I walked to the door of my house anf i had painted it witj thr american flag anf i checked the mail form my american flag mailbox and I had a letter.

I brougt it into my house but it looked kinda weird because it was the only thing in my house that didnt have an ameriican flag on it. I got our my crayons and colored it with the american flag.

So like i gues s I am wizard? Thats lit

I dabbed extravigantly.

I started to do the flosssing dance which I can do at the speed oF LIGHT

I guess that it was kinda weird that I was a wizard but oh wellll.

I guess I will go to this wizard store and see if it true

And it is! I got american flag robes, wand, books, bag, and owl. I'm so excited!

 **an: haha now you can see how bad of spell i am and grammer but shoutout 2 rose!**


	7. Chapter 7

**an: heres another chapter for today**

Elizas pov

Starbucks starbucks starbusks starbukcs starbucks starbucks starbucks starbucks

I cant go a signal day without starbusks and once I got mine I felt so much better and even though I knew I would needd more later.

I live in a mansion that has out own personal starbucks and my father pays the workers.

I went to wale up angelica and Peggy by jumping on there beds.

We go to eat brekfest and I have my starbucks and Peggy has guac and angelica is dipping tide pods (?) in both the guac and the starbucks at the sam time and eating.

My daddy camd into room and looked excited and said "guess what"

I said "you bought another star bucs?"

Peggy guessed "you found aincent guac"? Mysteriously

" you found a hot depressed carebein guys for me and eliza to fight over" Angelica said lesbianly

I lokked at her chipotlely because she knows that I would let her have any guys if she want.

"Nah fam you didnt guess" my daddy said smiling

"What then" Eliza says?

I handed each of my 3 daughters a letter that I got flrom the mail box adresses to Angelica Eliza Peggy and watched them open themhappily.

I opened my letter that says eliza in ink the color of dorito bags and ot says I am witch? My daddy was a wizard but we thought we were squibs because we didn't get hogywarts letters but I gues not then?

In the mean time I will go to my room because it is time for something I do every day whoch is hook myself up to one of those things that pump blood into body **(sorry i dont know english word)** but instead of blood it was star busks

I hoped the hogwars would have a starbucks but what kinda place doesnt have starbucks? Not the kind if place i want to be or else I

Start doing crazy things

 **an: i dont know what tide pods are but rose called it a forbiden fruit so i figured its some america thing? Anyways i hope you liked**


	8. Chapter 8

**an: i just found out what tide pod was and IM SORRY my english is no good anyways heres some sprace and BEN TYLER COOK MY LOVE**

Spot povs

Race is soooo hot **(but like isn't he?)** and he is walkking home from our school that we both go to as in together in thE SAME BUILDING I LOVE HIM.

I was surprided that my future bf race wasnt seeing me yet because he is a particulerly good finder

Race suddently stopped and looked up at a tree and I thought he saw me follow him but then he reached up into the tree and pulled out 2 pieces of paper because he's such a good finder I love that about him….

Race read the papers and called out "hey Spot I found a letter for you and another for me"

Oh no he must have known I was there THE WHOLE TIME HELP

I was blushing sooooo much and I couldn't look him in the eye when I came out from behind the tree I was hiding be hind. I looked up at his beautiful face and AHHHH my heart stopped beating for a second their

He handed me my letter psycoticly and we opened them

Woah man thats weird" spot said after he was done reading.

"Uh yeah" race said illegaly in reply. "I guess we can go get school suppiles together"

YES YES YES I WILL GO WITH YOU so I said "uh no I think I'm fine on my own" WAIT NO WRONG THING. IM SO STUPID

"Oh… ok then"

HE JUST WALKED AWAY I THINK I UPSET HIM COME BACK SWEETIE aaaand he gone. Wow

 **an: ahhh sprace and i love ben tyler cook so much and spot is me at ben tyler cook**


	9. Chapter 9

**an: i dont really feel like developing their relationship so look theyre already dating this is jefmads by the way**

Thomas pov

Jimmy james was sick againso I brought him so of my famous mac and cheese and I saw my mom pulling up on the driveway so I grabbed the mail on my way out to make it look like I actualy checked it

I brought the mail with me because I thought it was all useless stuff like q-pons for stores so she wouldn't be missing it.

I ringed the door bell snuggly and his mom answers "hey tommy james is upstairs" i gave her some mac and cheese and took some for james

I said hello to him and he was laying iin bed and I gave him his food

"Thomas why do you like mac and cheese so much I don't even like mac and cheese and you call it your famous mac and cheese what the heck thomas" jemmy said but i knew he secretly liked it because he took it happly

I was just looking through the mail I had got and it was mostly q-pons but then I found a letter adressed to me but i forgot about it when I heard jemmys mom yell up the stairs "hey james theres a letter adressed to you" and she came up and handed it to him

It was in the same envelope with the h that I had so I told him roughly "hey I've got the same letter we can open them together"

So we did. And they were sooo weird. "So… wizards?" I joked because I was kind of sceptical.

"I guess so.."

After james got better we took a bus to this "wizard" store so we could see what this letter was all about.

We walked in and saw what apeared to be other wizards? Some of them look amazed like us and some look like they've seen this before.

There was this guy standing next to me with dark brown hair and he was rolling his eyes and laughing and argueing with his dad outside of olive garden about sticks or something.

People were selling magic stuff so I guess wizard school was real? I can't wait to go with james together!

James coughed. "I think I'm getting sick again" he said illly.

"Oh no I said worriedly and yeeted him back home. I guess we will get school supplies another day

 **an: I'm thinking about starting another story one school has ended but im not sure what i'd do**


	10. Chapter 10

**an: i think I'm going to do more combined chapeters because just want them to get to hogwarts already**

Finch pov

I was studying in the library with specs and he was wearing cat eye glasses that race found him. I guesss it was kinda weird but they work so I'm not complaining. He was also wearing a very baggy jacket and cargo pants and he crinkled every time he moved. I decided to not question it and get back to studying.

Then some dude came up with black sunglasses and handed him a wad of the cash and he gave him something out of his pocket very smoothly.

"What was that" I asked suspiciously

"Dude you ask me that at least once a week and you still can get it into your head that. IM A CHIP DEALER.

"Oh…. but why?"

"People like chips and librarys and schools and other places don't allow chips. "

Now i vaguly remember specs having done this before. Actually now that he mentions it I regularly buy chips from him. Oops.

"Have you seen my glasses" specs asked and look around confusedly

"No" I said and helped him look for them.

We were by the window looking and I looked out the window and saw an owl flying towards us.

We looked at eachother confusedly. It came right up to the window and started pecking at it and it looked like it had something tied to it's leg.

Specs opened the window and let the owls in and untied the peices of paper from it's leg. They were letters and there were one for each of us

We opened them and read them and the owl flew away.

After we were finished reading we looked at eachother doubtfully. Then Spot came into the library. He came up to specs and said "I found your glasses" he handed him star shaped glasses.

Specs took them and said "I haven't seen these before in my life but I'll take them" and pit them on.

Spot noticed the letters they had in they're hands and his eyes widened and he exclaimed "I got that letter too and so did race."

"So… is it real?" I asked efficently.

He nodded. Me and Specs were surprised. Spot started talking quietly about how he went to these wizard stores to buy wizard stuff. I was still amazed.

"I guess we are all going to wizard school together. What was it called again? Hogwarts." I said cleverly.

"Yeah so i will see you guys there" Spot stood up heroicly and said.

"See us where" I asked confused.

He rolled his eyes and said "hogwarts"

"Oh right" I said.

Well I guess we're all going to this wizard school. I wondered if anyone else from our school was going.

 **an: only 6 more characters left before they actually go to hogwarts I will try to have the chapters out soon after this one because i am impatient**


	11. Chapter 11

**an: something that I forgot to mention is that all of the hamilton charachters go to one high school and newsies go to another so newsies know eachother and hamilton know eachother**

John pov

Me and hercules were walking to the park. "Are we there yet? This walk is hurting my feet." Hercules complained whinily.

"Of course this does your wearing high heels, a vest with blinking christmas lights, and fuzzy pants when its hot outside." I replied annoyed.

When we got there we were surprised to see Aaron burr and maria reynolds sitting on 2 different benches. They both went to our school and we didn't really like Aaron because he never stopped talking about his girlfriend but we liked maria even though we didn't know her very well. Since they were sitting on the only 2 benches in the whole park we decided to sit next to Maria. We said hello and started talking about what we had done with our summer breaks which for me was nothing except taking care of my 9 turtles.

Suddenly a owl swooped from the sky and landed on the top of our bench. We all jumped and Aaron looked over. We noticed something tide to it's leg and untide it. Their were letters adressed to me hercules maria and aaron.

"Aaron get over here" I called out and motioned him over.

Maria passed out the letters and we all opened them.

"So do you beleive it" Hercules asked us but I wasn't done reaDING WAIT HERC ok now I'm done.

Maria spoke "actually i do. My brothers a wizard but I always thought I wasn't. I was never allowed to tell anybody."

Aaron was already texting his girlfriend.

"That probably means we aren't allowed to tell anybody either right Aaron? Not even your girlfriend" I said sassily and looked at Aaron.

"Fine" he grumbled bearly and put his phone away.

Maria told us all she knew about this and we were excited. After AARON LEft maria said "if you want I can take you both to Diagon Alley tomorrow. That's where you get all the your wizard stuff"

We both said yes and went home.

 **an: 4 people all in one chapter yeahhh and that leaves only 2 people left which I'm combining so one more chapter until hogwarts! I'm so excited**


	12. Chapter 12

**an: haha i love davey**

Davey's pov

I got myself out a glass of water and decided to drink it just likea snake does because I love snakes. I remembered from the book I was reading for the 156th time (yes I counted) this morning that I had to dunk my snout in the water and use my throat to pump water into my stomach. The last time I tried this I ended up drowning my self and I was taken to the hospital. I was about to try it when I saw Albert outside my window rollerskating by but the problem was HE WASNT WEARING A HELMET.

"Albert!" I screamed "put on a helmet if you will rollerskate"

"Aw Davey your no fun" he said and circled back around and stopped when he got up to my porch.

It was so hot today that if I was an African rock python I would go into aestivation which is what they do during the hottest parts of summer.

I handed him Les spongebob helmet that was on the porch and walked past him to check the mail. There were 2 letters one was for me and one was for Albert for some reason.

"Hey Albert there's a letter for you. In my mailbox" i asked him.

I handed it to him quickly and opened my own. I was a wizard… just like my grandparents but not my parents. My grandparents had told me that they were in the snake house so I hoped I would be there too. I love snakes

Albert looked really confuse and doubtful.

"By the way this is real and I know because my grandparents were wizards and their is a snake house" I told him.

"Uh ok?" He said.

"Yeah. But anyway did you know that if you suddenly turned into a snake you would be 4 times longer then you're now"

"Wait go back to the wizard thing. That's real?" He said

I nodded. He looked shooked. I started telling him about the wizard school and I also told him some snake facts.

Finally he rollerskated away and I took the letter to my parents and Les. My parents were so proud of me and they were tell me that I was just like my grandparents.

"Does that mean I'm a wizard too" Les asked.

"I don't know. I guess you'll find out when your 11" my mom said.

I walked away and I looked out the window and realized Albert had left the helmet I gave him on the porch he's going to hurt himself!

 **an: whew thats all the chapters with there letters now its finnally time for hogwarts!**


	13. Chapter 13

**an: we finally made it! Well not yet this is the train chapter**

Crutchey pov

I was so excited to finally go on the hogwarts express! I recognized a lot of people from my old high school that were one of the forgotten first years but none of us really knew eachother and I didn't know any of their names.

I was carrying a lot of stuff but it was kind of hard with my crutch. I had 3 suitcase for my doritos and 1 for my barbies and another for my actual stuff.

I looked up at the train and it was really cool! All of the parents and families left so that we could all board the train and now it was just the students left.

As I started walking toward the train 2 big guys who looked like brothers came up to me and took my crutch from under my arm meanly.

"Who do we have here? It's a crip" one said and kicked my bad leg and I fell. The one holding the crutch hit me with it. People were looking at us.

Then a guy came up and stood between me and the 2 guys heroicly! "My dudes lets not do that" he said heroicly. He helped me up heroicly and gave me my crutch heroicly and we both walked away.

"I'm jack." He said heroicly.

"Crutchey" I said and stared at him. He's so hot I thought gayly.

We got to the train and he helped me get my suitcases on the train heroicly and we found a compartment that was empty and we sat down. I thanked him for saving me. It was kind of awkward and I was blushing a little bit. Then 2 people walked into the apartment.

Peggy pov

Right after I said good bye to my dad my best friend Maria came up to me and excitedly said "Peggy! I didn't know you were coming to this school"

"Maria!" I squealed and hugged her.

We started to walk toward the train and then we saw a crowd forming. We pused through it and saw 2 guys beating up a guy with a crutch. I was about to step in when another guy did. Me and peggy turned to eachother and yelled "I ship it!" So loud I'm surprised they didn't here us.

We followed 2 of them onto train and decided to join them in there compartment.

We opened the door and said hi and I tried to stay calm but this was my otp and I got so excited!

We all introduced ourselves. Then anotger person came in and said his names were Alexander Hamilton.

Alex said "when I saw you getting beat up it reminded me of the time I lived in the carbon and I was really poor and and I hitch hiked on a boat and they found me and beat me up for hitch hiking and I had to escape on another boat and then they found me and took my back home and then I had to hitch hike again and they found me and throw me off the ship and I had to swim 54 miles to shore"

We all stAred at him.

"Uh ok then" i said awkwardly and we started talking about ourselves.

John POv

As I was going on the train I saw someone wearing a shirt with a snake on it and I was wearing a turtle on mine. I glared at him threateningly and said "turtles are better."

He said "snakes are better"

I said "turtles are better"

He said "snakes are better"

I said "turtles are better"

He said "snakes are better"

I said "turtles are better"

We kept arguing And he told me lots of snake facts and I told him lots of turtle facts. It seems we are evenly matched. I called a truce and we shook hands and became best friends and his name was Davey.

I knew that turtles were better and I bet he did too but I wanst gonna start more argue.

"But like snakes EaT tUrTlEs davey said.

I got up and left the apartment and went and sat somewhere else because I took all of my 203 pet rurtles and we sat somewhere else. I was crying because that is a sore subject.

 **an: yeahhh finally going to hogwarts I'm goinna have another train chapter too I think before the sorting**


	14. Chapter 14

**an: for everyone complaining about my spelling rose is sometimes not editing as much of my story and I don't blame her because I have a lot of spelling and grammer mistakes I'm so sorry that my english is so Bad and my writing is probably really bad too I'm so sorry**

Angeloca pov

I was talking to this girl katherine and we went together in the one compartment and I could already tell we will be good freinds. She had a car ton of milk in her povket and I dipped my baked beans into the milk and ate it. She didn't think I was weird for that even though most people

Someone named thomas who went to my old school came and sat down with us flirtly. He started talking to us.

After we introduced ourselves he asked us what house we thought we would be in but I didn't really know

"You girls probably won't get gryffindor because that's for BRAVE people and yall are just girls"

Oh. Hell. No. I wasn't going to let this girafe be sexist.

Me and ketherine both stated yelling at him at same time and after we realized what we were doing we looked at eachother amazed because we were both insulting him. Now I could tell we would be bffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffs! We didn't even notice thomes still standing next to us painfully and he was confused why we stopped yelling and were staring at eachother. He decided to just leave and we still stared at eaxhother for at least 48 more minutes. Then we got to know each other better and ahh she's like perfect. I love this girl. Platonically of course. Or maybe not…?

Hercules pov

What a squad we were all sitting in a apartment. Me and lafayette and john and alex. Todayy i was wearing a bird costume and alex was wearing poor clothes because he was poor. Lafayette was wearing american flag robes and face paint and john was wearing a turtle shirt and petting one of his 34 turtles. ,

We. Are. Such. A. Squad.

Jack pov

Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahhahahahahahhahahahha this is such a bad prank. All of these people are actors and I can tell. But this one actor guy that I "saved" from the "bullies" is soooo hot. But he probably doesn't like me because he's just an actor and this is just a prank.

They took an entire train and painted the words hogwarts express on them just for the purpose of a prank. And that wall we had to walk through? I have to admit thise were pretty good special affects but obviously a prank. How did they get so many actors? There are hundreds of people hear

No way am I going to give in until they admit it's a prank.

Oh look we're here and WHAT ITS AN ENTIRE CASTLE. But like was that aready their or did they build it just for the purpose of this prank?

A guy probably on stilts came and told all of the first years to go over there and I guess that me.

They put us in entire boats that's so weird. While we were going across the lake I realized suddenly how weird this all is and I stared laughing really hard and I couldn't stop. Suddenly the boat tipped over and we all fell out! It took me second to realize what happened then I realized that crutchey probably couldn't swim with his bad leg at first I wasn't sure if that was part of the act or not but he wasn't coming up from the water so I guess it was real. I saw him below me drowning and I saved him.

"Sorry broski" I said squishily

"That's ok jack" he said still smiling even though he had almost drowned.

A giant tentacle reached out of the lake dirtily and flipped the boat back over and put us back in. What a weird kind of robot to build.

Anyways we both safe and when we got in the caslte a woman used a "spell" to dry us off. Fake.

 **an: I kind of got bored of weiting this in the middle of it so I'm so sorry if it seems rushed and I prabably should have combined it with the other chapter just so I wasn't going. on anout the train but i have already published but sorting is next chapter and I'm excited to write that**


	15. Chapter 15

**an: sorting! finally! just wait until you see what I have for this chapter it will be good also I took a lot of time putting the names in alphabet order**

Sorting hats pov

I have double work this year because the teachers mess up and and skipped a lot of first years a couple years ago. I just want to go back to sleep for another year and not have to look at a teenagers thoughts.

And they also make me sing a song so I will reuse a song that I used 3000 years ago but no one will recognize because I'm too lazy to come up with a new one. And to tell a secret I didn't write any of them I had help from some talking socks but they're gone now.

"Aaron butt"

 _Wow you're really obsessed with your girlfriend_ i told him surprisededly

 _Shut up_ he said rudely

 _Wow that was rude_ i said offendedly

"Slytherin" I decided because I think he would be willing to shoot someone.

"Spot conlon"

 _DANG THIS GUYS A STALKER_ I said to him

 _Uhhh what are you talking about_ he said nervously

 _Race_ i teased him

 _What? I dont stalk him_

 _Haha yeah right_ and before he argued I said "HUFFLEPUFF"

"Albert dasilva"

He rollerskated up to the stool and he didnt even have to sit down before I said "GRYFFINDOR" because that was only a thing a gryffindor would do

"Finch"

 _Nerd_ I said

 _Sorry who are you again_ he asked. He had such a bad memory it was kind of funny

"GRYFFINDOR" I yelled because I didn't want to answer him

"Alexander hamilton"

Man this guy has had a rough life

 _This hat reminds me of the clothes I had in the caroline because they were all really old and ragged because both of my parents were dead and I had to get the cash for myself but I didn't make much because I was like a baby and then I swam 31 miles after I was pushed off a boat_

This guy just kept goingg on and on so to shut him up I screamed "RAVENCLAW" and finally he was gone

"Racetrack higgins"

 _Ah so this is the race the other guy was going on about_ i told him.

 _Wait? Who?_ He asked

 _I ship it!_ I decided to put them in the same house "HUFFLEPUFF"

"David jacobs"

This kid is obviously a huge nerd.

 _SNAKE HOUSE SNAKE HOUSE PLEASE_ he told me.

 _Nah you arent a slytherin though_ i told him

 _PLEASE SNAKES did you know they can explode after having a large meal I want snake house_ I was getting annoyed

We must have been arguing for at least 20 minutes but he was obviously a ravenclaw so I gave up the argumeant and said "RAVENCLAW" I said.

He was pouting as he walk away.

"Thomas jefferson"

The way this guy walked just screamed that he was a jerk and I didn't want to see his thoughts so before he sat down on the stool I said "GRYFFINDOR"

"Jack kelly"

This dudes thoughts were so funny and I started laughing so hard I was crying or I would be if I wasn't a hat.

 _Companian why are you laughing_ he asked me

 _You seriously think this is all a prank_ I said to him

 _Oh well yeah it is_ he said

 _Hahahahahaha_ "SLYTHERIN"

"Marquis de lafayette"

This dude with full on american flag face paint walked up to the school

 _You're getting face paint on me_ I told him

 _Oh sorry mon ami_ he said

"HUFFLEPUFF" I shouted

Lafayette flossed and dabbed in front of the stool before going to his new house table

"John laurens"

I was amazed at how much he was thinking about turtles. I'm sure if there was a turtle house he would have begged for it just like davey and he also had 70 pet turtles like why are all of these people so weird this year

I could tell what house he was the second he touched my head "HUFFLEPUFF"

"James madison"

Ew he was that thomas guys boyfriend BYE "GRYFFINDOR"

"Crutchey morris"

 _Good evening mr hat_ he said politely

 _It's been a long time since someone has been that polite to me_ I told him

 _That sounds very mean of them. All you do is a good job and there mean too you_

 _Yes it is kind of mean isn't it_

I liked this kid so much that I had a very long conversation with him and everyone was starting to get very very impatient and this kid was such a hufflepuff

"HUFFLEPUFF" i said after we had said our goodbyes

"Hercules mulligan"

This guy was wearing a bright blue wig and a suit with snowflakes on it

"SLYTHERIN"

"Katherine plumber"

 _We need to talk_ she said the second I was placed on her head

 _Yeah no thanks_ I said to her

 _I just wanted to tell you how stupid this whole sorting system is you have students seperated on how they act when they are 11 years old_

 _Look I'm just doing my job_ i said rolling my eyes.

 _Yeah but you have a big part in thsi so it yours fault you shouldn't decide who a child friends will be_

 _You know what? You are really getting on my nerves_ I said and i got an idea…

"GARBAGE" I said.

Everyone stared at me. McGonagall was the first to talk "that's not a house" she said.

"It is now" I told her.

Dumbledore just said "ok" and conjured a new giant table for the garbage house. Katherine went and sat there alone at a giant table. It was funny. I decided that this would be a thing now that I would sort anyone who anoyed me ito garbage.

But now I knew katherine"s secret which was that her real last name was Pulitzer and she didn't want anyone to know.

"Maria reynolds"

At this point I was getting kind of lazy and I still had the other first years to sort so "RAVENCLAW"

"Angelica schuyler"

 _Why the heck did you sort Katherine into a new house just to humiliate her_ she asked after she stormed up to the stool.

 _Oh god not another one_ I say to myself

 _What do you mean by that?_

"GARBAGE" I screamed and angelica glarred at me before joining katherone.

"Elizabeth schuyler"

Oh no angelica had a sister. When she put me on her head I could barely read her thoughts because she was caraving starbucks so much.

 _You know hogwarts doesn't have a starbucks_ I said.

"WHAT" she screamed out loud and ran out of the great hall.

"RAVENCLAW" I said after she left

"Margaria schuyler"

Oh no angelica has a nother sister but this one wasn't as crazy

"SLYTHERIN"

"Specs"

He was wearing one of those pairs of 80s glasses that are just one strainght line

"RAVENCLAW" I said because he had glasses and looked like a nerd.

Yay I'm finally done and I can talk another year long nap! Ohwait more first years NOOOOO

 **an: that chapter was so fun to weite and it was long too I hope everyone enjoyed**


	16. Chapter 16

**an: i just found out that I accidentany said aaron butt instead of aaron burr and rose thought it was funny so she didnt fix and I'm sorry!**

James pob

Mgonnagall lead us up to the common room that they had just for the forgotten first years and there was a girls and boys dorm within them for each house.

The common room was pretty cool it had chairs and stuff

I was sharing a room with thomas and these 2 other guys that I didn't know named finch and albert

Albert rollersakted up the stairs to our room somehow? Finch seemed to suddenly forget what was happening and said "wait where are we" and one of his friends had to tell him

This will be a long year

At least I had tommy with me. We went to the dorm and introduced ourselves to our dorm mates and they already knew eachother and were like best friends and they were really loud.

It is an hour into the school year and I think I'm already sick help me

Thomas helped me and made sure I was comfortable

"Are you sure your ok?" He asked for the fourth time and I hit him with my pillow so he'd stop asked and he left

Thomas went to go stop albert and finch to stop making noise and I don't think they like us but oh well

 **an: that one was kind of short but i'll make some more long ones don't worry**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 **an: i'm doing chapters about what's going on in the dorms before I get into school stuff**

Spot pov

I can't beleive I got Hufflepuff. From what i heard hufflepuff is for the weak people but Im so tough so i guess there all wrong. And I'm in hufflepuff with race in the same dorm I'm so excited. Im also in Hufflepuff with Crutchey and lafayette and John (who has 76 pet turtles ?)

Crunchy was unpacking his barbies and Lafayette was helping him dress them in american flage clothes and asking crutche if he could paint american flags on them but he said no because he didn't want his barbies to have paint on them. He then opened another one of his suitcases and pulled out bags and bags or doritos. I was wondering why he brought so many suitcases here i guess they all had doritos in them

"I already ate an entire suitcase of doritoes and i'm running out" he said opening another bag panicly

"I know a chip dealer who could hook you up" I told him

"Really?/ Thanks" he sid

"Yeah it's specs he's in ravenclaw"

Race picked up something from under the bed and said "did anyone lose this"

It was a turtle. John SPrInTEd from where he was sitting and said " THATS MY TURTLE" and grabbed him from race and john said "anthony ramos where have you been you ran away 7 years ago"

"Woah race how did you do that" Lafayette asked "He made me hold a funeral for that turtle years ago we even had a coffin and we buried it and he was crying for weeks"

"Race is a particularly good finder" I told him

"Thats really lit" Lafayette said and started flossing and dabbing at the same time.

Crutchey asked us to play barbies with him and we all did so Crutchey was the mom barbie and I was the dad barbie and John was the daughter barbie and lafyette was the son barbie and race was the dog because there wasn't any more barbies left in the family even though crutchie owned almost 300 barbies I told race I didn't want anymore kids. I pretended to not like playing with barbies because that's what cool guys do right? We let Race be the annoying neighbor that lived in crutchey;s second barbie house and I made my barbie have an affair with his barbie! Then crutchey's barbie got mad at my barbie and filed for divorc so me and race had a whole barbie house all to ourselves!1 But shh don't tell Race that I like him

It was almost 3 am and we were still playing with barbies and we decided to go to sleep. Lafayette put on his american flag onesie. Then I remembered that Race talks in his sleep and It's so cute! Wait I have to stay calm so he can go to sleep and then I can watch him sleep I'm not a stalker I promise.

"%I forgot to study for my math test" Race said in his sleep how do I deal with this

Eventually I fell asleep and I'm excited to see what school wiill be like tomorrow

 **an: ok but the tonys last night… why is spongbob even a musical? And it won tonys too? And mean girls didn't win anything?**


	18. Chapter 18

Specs pov

Both of the other ravenclaws in mhy dorm were soooo weird. Davey was sitting in the corner reading a book about snakes and reading every book he could find on hogwarts to find out if there was a way to switch houses which I tried to not feel like its personal but it feel personal. I decided to talk to alex who was writing poems sitting on his bed.

"Hey alex what's uP" I asked and sat on the bed

"A hurricane that destroyed my entire town in the care bear and killed the only family I had left but I didn't really have that much family left anyway because my dad left me when I was 10 and my mom died when we were both sick even though I should of died with her and my cousin killed himself and the only family I had left was my brother and he died in the hurricane and so did most of my town so I had to write peoms to sell which is wht i'm doing right now so I can have the cash to buy school stuff because"

I just ran while he was talking and I could still hear him talking as if I was still there,

I ran into the girls ravenclaw dorm where maria and eliza were.

"Hey... specs right? what's wrong" eliza said

"My roomates are so weird" I sat down with them

I explained the whole situation to them about alex and dvey I mean me and Davey are like best friends but he's so weird sometimes and he likes snakes too much

We were talking about what we thought about the other people in our year because most of us seemed to go to the same 2 schools which was kind of weird. We also did our nails and I had purple nail polish on and Maira had red and eliza had blue. Then we decided to have a sleepover in their dorm and they got out sleeping bags and a movie and popcorn from no where and it was fun

 **an: i love specs and eliza and maria being best friend so much**


	19. Chapter 19

Hercules pov

Aaron was making fun of me because I was wearing a bikini and a hula skirt today but obviously he doesn't recognize true fashion. All he ever does is text his girlfriend but the signal in hogwarts is really bad and it takes a vdery long time to send messages so he was just sitting on his bed with his phone in front of him staring at it

Aaron was rambling about his girlfreind efficiantly "Theodosia has beautiful brown hair and brown eyes and she's so pretty I have a picture of her hold on let me find it and when she smiles I die every time I need to find a picture of her ah yes here's one she looks so good in yellow look at the picture isn't she so pretty just LOOK AT IT isn't she so pretty?"

I was getting annoyed so I went to go talk to this jack guy. He was drawing a picture

"What's that?" i asked exquisitely

"Santa fe" he replied. "Honesly if everyone was going to go to so much trouble sending me to a fake wizard school they could of at least made it somewhere i'd actually enjoy like santa fe."

This guy is weird. I like it

"I know right?" I Said

"YEah and as an actor guy in this prank you should be able to have a say in where there going to put the fake wizard school"

"Wait… you think this is all a prank?" Isaid

"Of course it is" he said

"Jack… i hate to tell you but this is not a prank"

He just sighed and went back to drawing

Peggy came into the room and said "Hey guys I was getting board in my dorm so I thought I'd see what the other slytherins are doing"

We all talked for a long time except for Aaron who was still staring at his phone. Thankfully jack did not mention that he thought it was a prank again but he still did look doubtful. I already knew peggy from my old school and we were good friends.

 **an: i can't believe I've gotten so many views I'm famous now**


	20. Chapter 20

**an: I've written so many chapters already I'm already on chapter 20**

KAtherine pov

Me and angelica stayed in the hufflepuff girls dorm because there wasn't a garbage dirls dorm yet. The first thing I noticed was that there was a ceiling fan! I stared to play with the swirch. It couldd go so fast!

Sice we were the founders of garbage house they let us pick the colors and the animal mascot. We picked brown and grey and the blobfish. Dubledore said he would create a common room and a dorm in the forgotten first years common room. The new common room was for all the people who would get sorted into garbage next year.

Dumbledore also let us both be prefects and we formed a quidditch team just the two of us. We were determined to win the house cup because their are only 2 of us

Me and anglica started talking about the sorting hat and how it was mean to us. Angelica was also telling me about her sisters and they were triplets.

It looks like me and angelica will be best friends

 **an: that was a really short chapter but there will be longer**


	21. Chapter 21

**an; finally into school stiff!**

Maria pov

When I woke up eliza was looking through all of our stuff in the room and throwing it everywhere in a daze. She was whispering something but I couldn't hear what.

"Eliza what are you doing?" I asked and specs woke up to

She didn't look up and violently tore the sheets off the beds and punched a whole in the wall. I went to go grab her to stop her because she was obviously going crazy and she ran out of the room now screamong the word she was whispering

"STARBUCKS STARBUCKS" over and over again.

Me and specs just lookedat each other and shrugged and got ready for school today.

As we were walking together we looked out a window and saw eliza who was setting stuff on fire like trees and hagrid but me and specs just figured it was something she does some times so we just went to class. D

I sat next to peggy and specs sat with his newsie friends showing off the nail polish we did last night. Aaron was texting his girlfriend, andrew keenan bolger was playing barbies with race and davey and john kept glaring at eachother.

Mcgonagall walked into the class. She called attandance. Everyone is here accept eliza who was probably still setting things on fire.

"Today we will be learing how to transfigure a potato gun into a book on why snakes start to rattle." Mcgonnagall said.

John raised his hand and mcgonagall called on gim. He said "can we transfuge the potato gun ito a book on why turtles start to rattle"

"Turtles don't rattle so no" mcgonagall said.

John looks like he was about to cry and davey gave him this look that was like haha I win.

"The spell is poorguysheadisspinningosa" mcgonalall told us.

We all took a potato gun and tried out the spell. Davey was singing the spell for some reason. "poorGUYShEAdisSPInninGOsa" he sang. He started adding all of these different notes and going really over the top. Crutchey was sitting next to him and giving him weird looks.

Eventually finch and albert gave up and started shooting each other with the potato guns.

Suddenly eliza came into the room and was chanting "starbucks"

She set everyones potato guns on fire and and set lafayettes hair on fire. Lafayette said "hey I spent a very long time coloring my hair like the america flag."

Mcgonnagal took out her wand and stunned eliza. She said she was taking eliza to starbucks and to carry on with the lesson.

No one actualy did carry on with the lesson and every one was in a potato fight.

I stood u and walked out of the room after I got hit in the head with a potato because I dont like getting hit with potatos

I saw magonagall carrying eliza to starbucks. I decides to join them.

"Shouldn't you be in class" mcgonagall asked me

"No" I said

"Ok" she said and let me fpllow them to starbucks.

We had to go yo a muggle town and we ordered a lot of starbucks and unfroze eliza. She ate the starbucks jumpily.

Then an owl came and everyone in starbucks freaked out because they was all muggles! We were not though and took the owl it had a letter. It was from philip schuyler! It said the craziest thing….

 **an: oh no cliffhanger! also I have made a wattpad account and I am now posting my fic on their but I will also be posting on here**


	22. Chapter 22

**an: sorry I took so long with this chaptwr aspecially after that cliff hanger but I was sick**

Peggy pov

We went to dinner after are potato fight and I was covered in mashed potatos. Angelica was dipping whip cream in the mashed potatos she was covered in and eating it.

I sat down at the slytherin table with my new best friend jack kelly. "So what did you think of the lesson today pal" he said. I ignored the sarcasm that he said that in because I thought I was imagining it.

"They were really fun" I said originally

Then maria came and sat with us at the table. "Maira your in ravenclaw your not opposed to be sitting at the slitherin table" I said excitedly.

Maria rolled her eyes and roared "Eh who cares. Anyways I was in starbucks with mcgonagall and eliza when we got a owl from you're dad!"

"Really? What did it say" I asked interestedly.

"I think dumbledore is about to tell us all" maria said and we turned to see bumblebee standing up about to make a speech.

"To the people of hogwarts. I have news. We are under lawsuit."

Everyone gasped seductively.

"Yes it is true. Philip schuyler has sued the school for not having a starbucks. If we lose the case we will have to pay 41 million american dollars whitch they will use to build a starbucks in the school. The court case will be in wensday."

I gasped again . That was the day after tomorrow?

"The whole school will come to watch it" he continued oldmanly. "We will have it on the quid itch feild. I need a lawyer and to select it i will have every student write there name down on a peice of paper and put it in this goblet and the goblet will choose the best candy date for my lawyer."

A goblet suddenly appeared and parchment paper and we all wrote our names. Dumbledore waved his wand and put all of the names in the goblet magicly.

The goblet chose a name and it flew out of the goblet and dumbledore caught it and read it "your mom" he said. Then he realized that someone must have wrote it as a joke.

"Come on goblet take this seriously" dumbledore told the goblet crisply.

The goblet gave him another peice of paper. "Finch" he read from the paper.

Finch stood up. "Woah that's my name I think what was I chosen for again"

Finches friend albert pulled him back down to sit and started to explain what he was chosen for because he forgot.

We all carryed on with dinner. I'm glad I wasn't chosen for being a lawyer because I want a starbucks in hogwarts. Maybe eliza will stop burning stuff. One time she burned my pillow but I didn't feel like getting a new pillow or putting out the fire so I slept with a burning pillow because it was the middle of the night. When I woke up my hair was on fire and my eyebrows were singed of.

I kept talking to maria and jackie. Then I looked at the huff le puff table and I saw my ship! Spot and race! They were sitting next to eachother! I pointed them out to eliza

"SPRACE" she squealed healthily so loudly I'm surprised they didn't hear.

"What" jack said.

"They are my ship" i explained explainingly.

"I'm writing fan fiction" maria said.

Jack looked kind of freaked out damply. Then he decided that he shipped them too.

"We should start a fan club" I said.

"For sprace" maria asked

"For all our ships! Like" I leaned closer to maria and whispered in her ear so jack couldn't hear "jack and crutchoi."

"Wait who" jack said

"It doesn't matter. Jack can draw fan art" i said graphicly changing the subject.

"Yeah I guess I'll join" jack said.

"Yay! We will meet every friday in the library because only nerds go there so there will be less people and we will do it at 4:30 but make sure not to tell anyone so we can ship ik peace" i explained flawlessly.

We all made sure to remember to meet there. I'm so excided.

Later that day I saw jack talking to crutchey! My other ship! I got out my binoculars and followed them as they walked down the hallway floodly they were walking to the common room. I took some pictures for our meeting on friday.

 **an: that was a long chapter I think?**


	23. Chapter 23

**an: i'll just spend this entire chapter on jack and crutchie because I love them together so much in case you couldn't tell**

Cruchey pov

Why does hogwarts. Have so many. Stairs. It is very hard when you walk with a crutch.

I was walking up the stairs to the commen room but it was very hard because all of the other hufflebuffs asked me to drip there stuff off for them before lunch. So I had 5 bags including mine. It seems they have forgotten that I have a crutch and their are so many stairs but I don't really care it's not their fault. Hogwarts should install an elevator.

I had finally gotten up the first flight of stairs when I heard someone behind me rabbitly say "do you need any help buddy"

It was jack! He's so helpful! And hot! I felt like I was going to fell down the stairs. I said something but I don't really remember what I said but he took all 5 bags from me plus his own and we went up the stairs together. He's so strong…

We started talking about life and stuff but I wasn't really listening because I was distracted by how hot he was unplatonicly

We made it to the common room and we did the password which was just a dab. Lafayette was really happy about that but albert wasn't because he was very anti dab. He was so anti dab that he started a club that was anti dab and he got some people to hoin. That was at our old school so he didn't have many members here but he was startin it here. Instead of going into the common room he waited outside until someone came and did the password for him. He hadn't gotten any of us in out year to join the club because no one wanted to stop doing the password.

Jack told me to wait as he went up the stairs to put the bags away. When he came back he asked winterly "why did you come with me you could have just gone to dinner and I could have put these away for you"

"Oh" I said lamely.

"I will get you dinner and you can stay here and we will heat together in the common room" he said heroicly.

"Ok thanks" I said unheroicly.

I waited in the common room and then he came back With our lunch. We ate together daditudely.

"Do you want to play barbies with me" I asked after we we're done eating.

"Uh ok" he said

He helped me up the stairs heroicly and we sat in front of my barbie dream house. I let him be my favorite barbiebecause he's so hot.

We got so distracted playing barbies that we forgot to go to class we were haveing so much fun. Soon it was dinner time

"We better go to dinner" he said

"Yeah. If you want to play barbies any onteher time we can" I said unheterosexually.

Then we stared into eachothers eyes and he leaned in like he was going to kiss me ahhhh he's getting closer AKKDJFJDJAK and then…

He didn't actually kiss me it looksd like he decided against it at the last minute. Or maybe I was imagining. Either way he didn't actually want to kiss me.

"So let's go" jack said stringly.

We got up and walked to dinner awkwardly. I sat at the hufflepuff table and he sat at the slytherine table. I was sad because jack didn't want to kiss me.

Jack pov

Oof I cam't believe I almost kissed crutcho. This is all a prank and he's an actor so he would never actually like me right? Or maybe he's just a victim of this prank but probably not he's probably an actor.

Speaking of this prank it's still very stupid. But this school is fun I guess and the people are cool. I will just stay here until they admit it's a prank. Actually I'm kind of glad to be able to stay here. Crutchey is here…

 **an: the anti dab club was totally somehing that happened that happened at my school and I an stealing that so shoutout to the founders if their reading this! im not sure if they want their names on here. I can't wait until crutchey and jack get together I ship them so much don't worry it will be soon**


	24. Chapter 24

**an: i'm back with another chapter and the date in the story is wednsday so you know what that means**

Specss pov

I can't find my glasses help I can't see at all I fell down the stairs when I walked out of the dormitry. I was about to leave to go to breakfest when race came up to me. "I found your glasses" he said fantasticly.

He handed me a pair of halloween glasses that had fake eyes on then. I put them on but it was kind of hard to see in them but it was better then haveing no glasses so I wore them.

"Thanks race" I said cheesely.

Cruthie came up to me and said "hey can I have some more doritos"

I gave him 40 bags but I new he would buy more in a few days.

Peggy also came and bought chips from me to go with her guac but it smelled kind of wierd I think it was like 3000 years old but if she's will be buying my chips I won't judge.

I remembered that today was the day of the trial where hopefully eliza would get a starbucks installed in the school so she will stop burning my chips i need to sell them instead.

I saw funch come down the stairs from the dorm and walked down to brekfast together.

"So are you ready for the trail today" specs asked me

I was confused "what trial" I asked

I can't beleive finch forgot abouth the trial he was dumblefore's lawyer! Maybe he would remeber later so I just said "it doesn't matter. "

I ate breakfest with all of the other people in ravenclaw and made a few more chip deals. I had to be careful though to not get caught because the teachers were right in front of me.

Then it was time for the trial. We all went to the quititch field and I sat next to maria. I knew she was running a betting pool for this trail so I turned to her and said "I bet 20 dollars that hogwarts will be gatting a starbucks" and I handed her 20 dollars.

She took it and juicily said "I already have 2 people betting that dumbledore will win and 6 people betting that he will lose"

Finch came and sat on my other side. The trial was about to start

"Dude what are you doing you're supposed to be up there!" I said

"What why" he asked

Te trial started. The judge said "can the lawyers please come down here and make there cases"

I nudged Finch and told him to go up.

"What am I supposed to say" he whisper asked.

"Go up and make your speech" I said

He walked down and stood in front of everyone. Dumbledore stood up to. "This is my lawyer his name is finch. Go ahead and tell everyone you speech"

Finch looked up at the audience. From the look on his face I could tell he didn't know what to do. He had forgotten what he was standing up their for.

Finch started to talke. "Um well I just wanted to tell everyone that jack kelly is really stupid. He thinks this intire magic thing is a prank. It's not. He thinks that every spell he does is special affects. He thinks that hogwarts was built just for the purpose of this prank. Half of us went to high school with him and he thinks we're all actors. Thank you".

Everyone looked at jack kelly and he started laughting really hard. So hard that he wouldn't stop and crutchie had to drag him out.

Maria gave me money because she knew I was going to win the bet of who would win the trial.

The judge said "can philip schuylers lawyer please come up please?"

The lawyer came up and I gasped legally. It was peeves!

"Hello everyone I think hogwarts should have a starbucks. This gurl keeps setting things on fire when she doesn't have starbucks. That's my job. I mean uhh" he looked nervously "that's no body's job am I right! No one should be setting things on fire especially not me! Or Eliza! And that was most definitely not a plan for an upcoming prank! In conclusion we need starbucks"

The jury didn't take long to come to a decision.

"The jury has found jack kelly as… stupid" the jury said.

"Yeah but what about bumbledore" the judge asked annoyedly.

"Oh yeah him. Dumbledore will have to pay 90 million dollars for the starbucks to be put in hogwarts"

Eveyone cheered. The judge and the jury left. We were all happy to have a starbucks at hogwarts now.

Dumbledore looked kind of mad at peeves but he's dumbledore so he didn't really want to show it. "Peeves why did you become a lawyer against me" he asked majorly.

"So that you're student would stop setting things on fire and I could set things on fire instead duh" he said mockingly.

"That was a mean thing to do. I thought we were friends. You're expelled" dumbledore said

"Fine. Your expelled too" peeves said

"What? You can't do that" dumbledore said tryi g to convince himself it wasn't true.

"Yes I can I just did" peeves sad

"...if I unexpel you will you unexpel me" dumbledore asked peeves

"Ok deal" peeves said. They shook hands. Or they would have if peeves wasn't a ghost.

We all went and walked back to the castle. On the way I saw people already putting in a starbucks. Their was also a sign that said help wanted.

 **an: yay starbucks**


	25. Chapter 25

**an: we are getting so close to jack and crutchi together!**

Eliza pov

I finally get my starbucks! I won't be burning things today or any time soon. I went to starbucks and I ordered one of my favorite drinks "Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice" the barista looked very confused. I repeated the order and they made my drink.

I was sitting in The starbucks when maria came in. She ordered a drink and sat down with me. We started talking about what I missed while I was buring stuff.

We finished our drinks and sat down in the common room. Then peggy came up to maria and said something too her that I didn't here. Then peggy gave her 30 dollars. "What are you doing" I asked richly. After peggy left

Maria said "oh yeah something else you missed was i am now running a huge betting system throughout hogwarts and one of the things people have been betting on is when jack and crutchey will get together. It used to be if they will get together but no one betted that they wouldn't get together so it's now when they will."

"Can I bet" I asked

"Sure"

"They will get together tomorrow" I said and handed her all the change stabucks had given me.

"That's the same thing that peggy bet" she said beanly

I had a plan. I know I probably shouldn't be doing this because I shouldn't interfere especially because I made a bet but I ship them too much. I decided to get peggy in on it so she could help me.

Most people were in classes but me and peggy had a free period so I went and asked her to help me with the plan. I told her the plan and she agreed. After every ones classes were over we went to starbucks because crutchie works there now to afford doritos and also I wanted starbucks. "iced coffee with one pump of white chocolate and light ice" i told crutchiy. Then after he took my order I said "hey by the way jack likes you".

He looked surprised. "Really" he asked.

"Yes" I said. Then I left so he could think about it alone. Peggys job was to find jack and tell him that crutchey likes him. Then tomorrow we will start phase 2.

 **an: soooo close. also sort of cliffhanger? Sorru about that**


	26. Chapter 26

**an: i feel like I've been focusing too much on certain characters but I will try to include more characters soon**

Peggy pov

I couldn't sit atill in any of my classes I was so excited? For phase 2 of the plan with jack and crutchey. I went over the plan in my head. Jack would go to the library for the first meeting of out fan fiction culb. Then at the same time I would ask crutchie to go to teh library for me to check out a book that was in the same section that jack was sitting in but I had already check out the book so he would be stuck looking forever and he would see jack and talk to him. Then eliza would go and distract maria so she wouldn't ocome and ruin th e moment. I will watch them and make sure they kiss! It's a genous plan.

Finally classes were over. We still have 30 minutes until our meeting in the library. I saw jack so I went up to him and said "hey jack don't forget about our club meeting with maria make sure to get a spot where no one is around to see us" I made sure to try not to sound suspicious but I failed.

Jack bonely said "uh ok mate but why do you sound so suspicous."

"Uhhh" I said but I couldn't thjnk of an answer so I just ran away.

I met up with eliza so we could get ready. Finally it was time to start the plan. We were alone in the common room except for crutchey. I called him over and said "hey crutchie can you do me a flavor and go to the library to get me a book? I would but I have to help eliza with this homework and we need the book to do it"

"Ok" he said and crutched away.

As soon as the door to the common room closed maria came down the stairs from the girls dorm. "Are you ready to go peggy" she asked me democraticly.

Eliza suddenly said "wait before you go maria can you give me some advice. "

"Yeah sure what about"

"What to order form starbucks" eliza said. While maria was distracted I ran up the stairs fo the library to catch up with crutchey. Lickily he wasn't that fast going up the stairs and I got to the library right after he did.

Saw jack and hid behind a bookshelf where he was. I got out my phone to take a picture of when they kissed. Crutchie looksd around the library for a minute and then he found the section with the book he was looking for.

"Oh… hey jack" cruchie said awkwardly. He was actubg weird because he now knew that jack liked him and jack was actung weird because he knew that crutchie licked him!

"Hey crutchie…" jack said stealthily.

They kept talking awkwardly for a few minutes and they had to hurry it up because eliza couldn't keep maria distracted forever. Then I got a text from her saying that she couldn't keep maria distracted any longer and she was coming up to the library.

I had an idea. I got out my phone and started playing kiss the girl from the little mermaid. For a moment they were confused where the music was comeing from but then they just listened to it.

They were looking into eachothers eyes… come on… their so close to kissing…

Then maria came into the library! She saw the 2 of them and was about to say something but before she could I pulled her behind the shelf I was hiding behind. I couldn't let her ruin their moment.

She was about to talk loudly and ruin their moment because they would hear. "Shhh" I said and looked back at them.

"Peggy what's going on" she whispered. Then she heard the somg I was playing on my phone and realized what I was doing. She smiled and got out her own phone to take a picture too.

Finally they were kissing! I took a lot of pictures and so did maira.

They must have heard us because they turned and looked at us and jack said "what are you doing here"

We started giggling thickly. Both of them realized what we had done and that we had gotten them together. Eliza came into the library and we showed her all the pictures we took. Maria gave us the money we won from the bet we made.

Eliza and crutchie left so we could have our club meeting. Jack looked kind of embarrassed.

"We should dedicate our meeting to jacrutchie." I said.

At these meetings maria would write fanfics, jack would draw fan art, and I would share the pictures that I took and make plans for my ships.

"I am not drawing fan art of myself" jack said. He agreed ro draw crutchey but not himself. Maria wrote fanfics and I looked through the pictures I took and put them into a filder on my phone for jack and crutchey and made plans to stalk them on their first date.

When the meeting was done we all went back to the common room. The only person in there was crutchhie. Me and peggy smiles at each other and went up the girls staircase to make them think we were gone but we were actually watching from the staircase. They started kissing eachother again! I took pictures but I made sure my ringer was off so they couldn't hear. I shop them so much

 **an: yes finally! My ship! now I can dedicate more chapter to others besides jack and crutchie. Also I think that was a really long chapter but I'm not sure maybe?**


	27. Chapter 27

**an: im trying to get rose to write a fanfic but she won't**

Davey pov

I like to sit at the snake house table to pretend I'm in snake house even though I'm not. I have become freinds with someone in that hoise named alexander hamilton.

As we were talking the owls came in and everyone got their letters. The first letter I got was red. I knew what it was fron a book I read. It was a howler. I knew that it would explode if I didn't open it so I did and it started screaming.

Les voice said "HI DAVEY HOW IS MAGIC SCHOOL GOING? I AM GOING GREAT! I WAS WONDERING IF YOU GOT THE SNAKE HOUSE LIKE YOU SAID YOU WANTED. I AM STUCK AT HOME WITH SARAH WHO I FORGOT EXISTED AGAIN SO I AN IN TROUBLE. I FOUND ONE OF OUR GRANDPARENTS OLD WIZARD BOOKS SO NOW I KNOW HOW TO MAKE HOWLERS AND ITS THE ONLY THIBG TO DO WHEN I AM IN TROUBLE WHICH HAPPENS VERY OFTEN SINCE I FORGET SARAH EXIST VERY OFTEN. THAT MEANS I CAN SEND LOTS OF HOWLERS EVERY DAY! ARE YOU EXCITED FOR THER BECAUSE I AM"

Then the letter stopped screamsing and everyone was staring at me. If I was a snake they would be running away because ⅓ of people would be scared of me.

Then I noticed I had a second letter. It didn't say who it was from. I opened it and it had one sentence writton on it: turtles are better. I knew that wasn't true and the only person stupid enough to think that was true was john laurens and I looked up at the hufflepuff tble and saw him laughing at me.

"What does that say" alex asked

I gave the letter for him to read. He stared at it for a second and then looked back ay me confusedly. "I can't read" he said.

"You can't read?" I asked because I had seen him writing before.

"No and my dad used to always make fun of me for that which was one of the reasons why he abandoned me when I was 10 but the entire toen in the carbonation used to also make fun of me as well but I can still write which become useful when I got here after I hitch hiked on a boat and they found me and beat me up then I snuck on another boat but they found my and took me back and I hitch hiked another boat and then it caught on fire and they found me and threw me off boeard so I had to swim 11 miles to shore and that's where my writing skill came in useful because I wrote poems to get money but since I can't read I couldnt proof read them but people still bought them anyway and I had a little bit of money but I was used yo being poor since the only money I got was from writing poems which werent that good because I couldn't proof read them and before I got to the unites state I had to work at a trading place when I was very young because my father abandoned me and my mother got sick and died and my cousin killed himself and my brother died when a hurrican destroyed my town and the small amount of money I had so I have always been poor"

"Do you want me to teach you how to read" I asked him which I wouldn't be able to do if I was a snake I would only be able to hiss.

"Sure then I could proof read poems so I could get more money from writing poems that my dad used to make fun off before he abandoned me and I could get more money to but school stuff because I couldnt really afford much school supplies when I came to hogwarts and I had to buy lots of bad quality stuff"

"Ok cool I'm going to the forbidden forest to look for snakes" I said and left.

I webt out to the forbidden forest and walked ariund looking for signs of snakes. Their are 3,000 speces of snakes and 725 are poisonous and 300 can kill people with one bite so the chances were good that at least one lived in the forest. The only places in the world where snakes dont live are ireland, iceland, new zealand, and the north and south poles and hogwarts was in scotland.

I saw something slithering on the ground and followed it. It was a snake! I picked it up and noticed that it must be vemonous based on the scale pattern on it's tail it had 2 rows instead of 1. I sudddenly felt something sharp poke me and I realized that the snake bit me. I wasn't mad because I knew the snake was trying to defend itself. I dropped the snake in surprise surprisedly.

"I'm so sorry" I said to the snake and I walked out of the forest because I felt the venom in me starting to effect me. My vision was getting darker and I blacked out when I was still in the forest.

Later that day I woke up in the hospital wing. Madame pomphrey was standing next to the bef. "Oh your awake" she said. She injected me with a needle that made me feel weird and happy.

"What happensd" I asked seedlessly.

"You were bitten by a snake and another student found you in the forest."

"Who was it" I alsed.

"He's in the waiting room waiting for you to wake up. Let me go get him.

She left and came back with the person who apparently saved me. I gasped… it was john laurens! My enemy!

John said "hey davey whats up"

"Woah you saved me?" I said

"Yeah" he said.

"Well thanks. What were you doing in the forbidden foresg? "

"I waa looking for turtles"

"Oh that's cool" I wasnt going to tell him that snakes were better even thouggh they were because he had saved me.

Then I remembered that I had said sorry to the snake and even though they don't have ears their skin and muscles and bones carry vibrations to there inner ears so it heard me.

Me and john sort of became friends anfter that because he saved me. We didn't talk to eachother at achool but we went into the forbidden forset together to make sure we doesn't get bitten. He still wouldn't admit snakes were better though.

 **an: i got kind of carried away with the alex rants so it made the chapter about 300 words longer oops**


	28. Chapter 28

**an: here we have some updates on garbage house and quidditch tryiuts**

Angelica pov

Today is the day of quidditch try outs for all the houses. I know I wont have yo try out because me and hatherine are the only ones in the house. That is pretty great because we both watch movies ever night and we don't have tk fight over when to go to bed.

We went on the quidditch pitch and all of the people in our year were there to try flying and if they were good they could try iut. They were doing this because we never got the chance to ddo flying class like ever one else.

We each got a broom to fly om. I noticed that jack and crutcchie were holding hands. That sucks because I lost the bet I made with maria. I said they wouldn't get together for andother 4 days.

All of us had gotten there an hour before tryouts since we had never flown before to try flying.

I took the broom and mounted it. Then I kicked off the ground and I was flying. I was surprisingly good at itt for my first time.

I looked down below me and I saw spot flying he was really good and I saw crukie push off the ground but he didn't get a good push because of his leg. He was good too because he didn't need his leg for flying. Jack started flying too but he was really bad and fell.

After flying around for a while it was finally time for try outs. Only the people who were good at flying stayed to try out accept jack who wanted to make sure crutchoo didn't get hurt. Jack handed crutchie a helmet and a car seat and a seatbelt for his broom so he didn't get hurt. Q

They divided us by house so that each house had a corner of the feild to do tyouts on. Garbage was allowed to go any where because there were only 4 corners of the field.

Me and angelica were both pretty good at quiditch so we played a fake game while everyone else tryed out.

At the end of the tryouts it was announcced who was on the teams. On the gruffindors team was thomas as a chaser and albert as a keeper. On hufflepuff was race as the seeker and crutchey as a chaser even though jack was making him wear a seat belt for flying and spot as a beater. On the ravenclaw team was maria as a chaser. On the slytherin was hercules as a beater and peggy as a chaser.

I had seen race fly and knew he wasn't good at it he was just a particularly good finder so he could find the snitch without even haveing to fly.

Me and katherine went to the enterance hall to check house points. We saw the giant hourglass they installed for us and we saw that we were winning the house cup. We high fived firely.

We went up to the common room and said the password which was "thomas jefferson sucks"

Garbage is a lit house. We talked about feminism and stuff before we watched wonder woman. We fell asleep together on the couch.

 **an: i feel like that chapter was kind of boring sorry**


	29. Chapter 29

**an: shoutout to my friend jamie for drawing some amazing fan art**

Race pov

I made the quiditch team! With spot! That means I will be able to spend even more time with him but it also means that he will be more likely to find out that I like him oh no.

Spot was complaining about how hogwarts doesnt have a football team. He used to play football at our old school.

"You should start a football team" I told him

"Oh yeah I could let's go ask dumbledore."

We went to dumbledores office but he wasnt there.

"You can find him since you're a particularly good finder" spot said affectionately.

Aw he just compliment me! Do you think he likes me probably not.

I looked behind a gargoyle and found a pair of glasses that I could guve to specs since he probably lost his. They said I heart the 80s but they were still wearable.

"Now we need to find specs" I said and showed spotty the pear of glasses I had.

We turned a corner down the hallway and specs was right their. He couldn't see anything because he didn't have any glasses and he was feeling the walls to walk.

"Hey specs i found your glasses" I said rubberduckily.

"Oh thanks I've been looking for them" specs said and put them on and he could now see.

"Now we can go find rumbleroar" I said to stripe.

We went outside and walked up to the black lake. I reached in the lake and grabbed something and pulled it out. It was dumbledore!

"Oh hello race and spot" he said adultly.

"What were you doing in the black lake" spot asked.

"I was talking to a mermaid. Would you like to meet her?"

"Sure" we said

Dumbledore went back under the water for a second and came back up with a mermaid with red hair. "I'm ariel" she said.

"Hi ariel" I said.

"Hey race I've seen you here before and I just want to say that I'm in love with you" ariel said.

"OKAY well we should be going we had something to ask dumblefore come on lets go" I said changing the subject and running away.

Spot and dumbledore followed. We met up at the enterance to hogwarts to ask dumbledore about a football team.

"So what did you want to ask me" doubledoor said.

"We wanted to start a hogwarts football team" spot said.

"That's a grealt idea" dumbldore said. "Ilvermorny has a football team so you can play against them. There is a teacher here who should be the coach."

"Who is the coach" I asked

"Professor snape"

Oh no not snape! He would be a bad coach and only pit slytherins on the team.

"... ok sir" I said ReluctantLy.

"We can have football tryouts tomorrow and I'll put up posters" dumbledore said.

Me and spot started to walk up to the common room and we complained anout snape as the coach.

Spot is so cute but don't tell him I said that.

We sat at the hufflepuff table and I caught peggy staring at me. Then she went over to maria and said something to her and gave her some money while she was looking at me. I was confused.

Oh well I'll just go back to staring at spot.

 **an: now that jacrutchie is together next is sprace maybe. Or I might do a different ship before them**


	30. Chapter 30

**an: i had an idea for another fic so I might be starting that soon or at some point idk**

Alex pov

Dabey told me to meet him in the library to teach me how to read. All of the books reminded me of the books on the shelves of m old house in the core bone where i saw my mom dye while I was sick too and she dyed and I felt guilty about it because I shound have dyed instead of her and that's also where my cousin killed himself because he hated me.

Davey was already their waiting for me. He had lots of books out but I didnt know swhat any of them said because I can't read.

"Hey davey" I said interestingly.

"Hi alex I was reading this book about snakes and did you know that the shortest snake in the world is called the thread snake and it lives in the candy barn which is where you yoused to live so I thought of you when I read it." Davey said anonymously.

"Yeah that's where I used to live before a hurricane destroyed my entire town destructively and killed most people who lived they're including my brother and I lost all of the cash and everything I owned and then I moved here by hitch hiking on 3 different boats where they kept finding me and swimming 3467 miles to shore"

"Yeah let me teach you how to reed nowl" david said.

He stared teaching me how to readbut the problem was he wouldn't stop talking about snakes so I was getti g annoyed.

"Yes this word says snake speaking of snakes did you know snakes are made of the same material as people finger nales" ben fankhauser said and he brought up snakes for like the 7000th time.

While he was talking about snakes I sneaked away well he was distractted because I didn't want him to teach me how to read if he would just talk about snakes the whole time because snakes remjnd me of my childhood when my dad and me used to walk in te forest together and we would somethines see snakes but then he ababandoned me and I didn't go in the forest any more to see any more snakes."

I was walking down the gallway when I ran into my friends john and hercules and lAfayette.

"Hey alex what's up we were just looking for you so we could all go be a squad together" john said and high fived me.

We all went out side to sit inder a tree by the black lagoon. Lafayette got out nail Polish and painted his nails like the american flag to go with his american flag suit and american flag tie. Hercules pained his nails glow in the dark yellow to gp with the suit of armour he was wearing. John started petting one of his 4829 turtles.

Suddently davey came over and he looked mad. "Alex where did you go do you not want me to teach you how to read" he asked

"I want to learn how to real but I don't want to learn snake facts" I said savagely.

"Fine someone else can teach you. Hello john" he said and walked away.

"Hey john he just said hello to you I thought you were enemies I think he's in love with you" herules teased fearlessly.

"Shut up hercules" john said embarassedly.

"But seriously since when are you not enemies" I asked.

"I saved him from getting bitten by a snake" john said.

"That sounds romantic" lafayette said and we all laughted. Accept john he was looking really embarrased and rolled his eyes eyely.

It started to look like it would rain which reminded me of the huricane that destroy me town and killed my brother which meant all my family was dead except for my father who might be alive but I wouldn't know because he abandoned me but I was sure my mom and my cousin were dead because my mom died in front of me and I saw my cousin dead and also my brother

"Hey alex" john said "I have an idea"

"What is it" i asked angstily.

"Maybe I could teach you how to read"

"That sounds good as long as you don't know any snake facts" I said.

"Well I don't so we can do that" he said.

Now I can learn to read so it will help my poem writing skills so people will by more of my poems and I can have more money for the first time in my life because I've always been poor and everything I have ever owned has been bad quality except for a bike that my dad saved up 4 years to buy me before he abandoned me and it was destroyed with the hurricane that destroyed my town.

 **an: i think I will put voldemoret in the story in a few chapters**


	31. Chapter 31

**an: im sorry I've been so bad at posting I've been on vocatoin in maryland and I can't figure out how to post on wattpad with my phone so I will post the chapters later and I will make ip for it with lots of chapters when I get back**

Spot pov

I couldnt sleep because I was excited for football try outs! Amd that's ok because race was being cute and sleeping again… he was talking in his sleep and since he speaks italian he was talking on his sleep in italian! I decided to check on my youtube channel and see how many followers I have. It is an asmr youtube channel. I realized I hadn't uploaded a vidoe in a while so I went downstairs to be alone to make one. I was just eating cereal for my viseo (luv the cronch) when I heard a noise coming from the stairs. Someone was coming down!

"Spot what the hexk are you doing" it was race! The guy i have a crush on! He can't know about my secret life! I have 21 subscribers!

"Uhh.. just eating cereal" I said toughly.

"Oh ok" race said.

He sat! Down! Next! To! Me! No wait I have to act cool shhhh I definitely don't like him wink wink

We talked a while about stuff like the football team and classes and stiff and then he fell asleep on me!

I didn't want to wake him up so I let him stay and I fell asleep too

When I woke up I heard the sound of an camera. It was peggy takeing pictures of me and race sleeping on eachother.

"Peggy what are you doing" I said annoyedly.

"MY SHIP" she said spracefully.

"Shut up" i said spotconlonly.

I carefully moved race onto a pillow on the couch and got up so no one would know that I liked him sleeping on me and got up.

I realized that I hadn't picked up my cereal or my video camera that I was recording with and it was still recording.

I got up and went down to brekfast and soon after race showed up.

"Where did you go" he asked.

"Uhh brekfast obviously?"I said

He rolled his eyes and sat diwn next to me beautifully. I continued to eat brekfast and race started to eat.

Then we got ready for football. Snape was already there and he was gathering everyt body to start auditions

He told us each to run 17 million laps around the entirely of hogwarts and that took a really long time so auditions were almost over.

"Alright that took longer then expected because y'all are slow so I'll just make the decisions and you don't have to do anything else I'll announce all of them tomorrow in potions class" snpe said evilly.

Oh well I think I will get in because it was my idea to form the team.

I skipped dinner to go to the dorm because I smelled really bad almost as bad as JACK KELLY EWWW HE SUCKS

I ate the cereal I was eating last night and I finished filming my video and I was confused on why no one was back yet but oh well

I decided to edit the video that I was taking last night and tonight and I pulled it up on my compupiter and then I remembered that race was sleeping on film! And he was talking in his sleep which is something he does sexily! He was talking in italian again so I got out a language didctionary but I couldn't find italian to english so I had to settle for italian to portuguese and portuguese to french and french to welsh and welsh to klingon and klingon to chinese and chinese to greek and greek to english so I wasn't sure if the translation would be accurate. I played back the video and tried to figure out what he was saying. It took a very long time but I figured out he was either saying I'm in love with spot conlon or I really hate spot conlon. I know he wasn't in love with me because he is straight right? I mean remember that mermaid? That means race must hate me? My bf hates me?

I was so sad. I opened the window and climbed ou onto the roof. I was so sad that I was not thinking clearly. I walked along the roof and I saw the black puddle under me and it was looking like a whole snacc so I decided to jump in.

"CANNONBALL" I screamed snaccily and jumped off the roof.

I landed in the lake and I sat on the bottom. Not many people know but I can breath underwater.

I was sitting on the bottom angstily when someone came up too me. It surprised me because I didn't know anyone else could read underwayer but I didn't want to show it because I'm so tough

"Hello spot" it was arial.

"Hi" I said depressedly.

"What's wrong" she said

"Race hates me" I told her sadly

"Really?" She said happily.

"Yes" I said upsetly.

"Haha that means he's in love with me nat you" ariel said excitedly.

"You know what shut up" I said and I wasn't so sad anymore because ariels opinoin doesn't really matter because no one cares about her

I got out of the lake moistly and walked back to the castle. I ran into race who was walking back from the great hall.

"Spot why are you wet" he said.

"Because of you" I said and did finger guns.

He blushed cutely and said "that's not what I meant I meant WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST SWAM IN THE BLACC LACC"

"Oh yeah that's because I did" I said

"Dude no tell me for real"

"I'm serious" I said seriously

"WHAT" he said

"Well actually to be more specific I jumped off the roof into the blak lake" I said because it's cute when he's mad

"NO DONT DO THAT YOU COULD OF DIED"

"But I didn't so its fine" I said calmly. I realized that if he hated me he probably wouldn't of freaked out when he found out so I think that was a mistranslation I need to buy an italian to english dictionary.

 **an: but I don't hate jacc kelly that was a joke don't take that seriously please**


	32. Chapter 32

**an: solid decision on the jeggings by the way**

Hercules pov

I put on todays outfit which was a snape cosplay. Speaking of snape it's tome for potions class whih has snape as the teacher but no one really likes him.

I sat down at my table which I share with alex and john and lafayette who was also wesring a snape cosplay but you couldn't really tell it was snape because the wig was dyed american flag and the robes were american flag and the fake nose was american flag and the eye contacts were american flag because we co ordinated our outfits today.

Cruncho and jack and davey and katherine were sitting at the table next to them.

"What up newspapers" snape said and slammed the door closed creepily and all the light was gone from the room.

"Good afternoon professor snape" crutchey said politely.

"Yeah whatever" snape said rudely.

"How are you today" crutchie said politely.

"It was going great until you showed up" snape said rudely.

He was teaching us how to make a potion that make people talk in non stop snake facts. We were going to test it on John because he lost the nose goes.

Davey was already talking in snake facts so that everyone who was sitting at his table left and came to ours so it was really crowded.

"Ok newspaper" snape said to davey. "You need to shut up so this is not the potion we will be brewing we will be brewing a potion that will make someone shut up and we will be testing on davey"

He waved his wand and the instructions for the first potion disappeared and the new ones appeared.

"This potion is really easy so if you screw it up you will be punished" snape said.

We started to make the potions. Everyone was doing great accept cutchie. His potion has sparks flying everywhere and its hissing like a snake and it's rainbow when it's supposed to be white.

"CRUTCHEY" snape yelled deatheaterly.

"I'm so sorry professor! I don't know what happened" crutchey said appolojetically.

"I told you I would punish you so I will punish you. Actually that gives me an idea… I think I will make you play for the hogwarts football team and by the way I will be announcing the results of the audition at dinner later" snoop said meanly.

I was really mad because crunchey can't play since he has a crutch but I didn't want to argue because those football jersies are so ugly and I didn't want to have to play football so I stayed quiet quietly.

At dinner later it was time for snape to announce the results. I was sitting at the table and I don't really care about football so I wasn't as excited as peolle like spotty spot man

"Alright newspapers here's the deal" sneep said and started to announce the players for the team. "Race katherine angelica crutchey albert"

Spot was shook. He was really confused on why he didn't make the team so he stood up and said "uhh snippy snap why am I not on that list"

"I didn't put you on the team" he said lazily.

"Why not you newspaper" spot said inappropriately

"Because your too short" sanape said.

"IM NOT SHORT" spot said tantrumly.

"Yeah you kind of are" snape said.

Spot ran away and I followed him because I didn't have anything else to do with my life and I was done with dinner and I was bored of being down there. I walked right behind spot and into our dorm but he didn't notice me because he was so mad. He climbed out the window and I was confused on what he was doing. Then I saw him jump off the roof? I ran down to the ground and found the part if the roof he jumped off and it was in the blacc lake so I started looking through the black lake.

I heard a voice. "Oh hey ariel" it was spot. He was alive. But who is he talking to?

"Hey spot. How's race I just made a shrine to him" the voice said.

"Dude no one cares he doesn't like you" spot said.

Maybe spot was halucinating after hitting his head and talking to himself. I decided to leave him alone because apparently he wasn't drowning so he must be ok.

 **an: i hate snape so much you can fight me on this**


	33. Chapter 33

**an: ok so this first part of the chapter might not make sense until later on the story but here we go also I'm back home from mariland and i spent the ride home writing so i have 3 new chpters i'lll be publishing right now to make up for being gone**

Dumbledore pov

JAKSKAMSNEJEKQLSMDNDNDJD HELP

Peggy pov

Today was the first quiditch game of the season and I was ready. I have been training as a chaser and slytherin is ready to go against garbage house. I don't even know how garbage could possibly win because they only have 2 team members and slytherin is the best house.

Dumbledore was being the referee this time so it would be fair.

I walked down the stairs very slow and quiet just in case their was someone down there worth takeing pictures of. And there was! Spot and race were… talking to eachother! I got out my phone and took some pictures for my scrapbook.

Then angelica came behind me. "We're gona beet you today" she said spectacularly.

"No your not you have 2 players on your team" I said.

"Yes But were better" she said untruely.

"No slytherin is better" I said truely.

Me and hercules went to meet the other memebers of the team in the locker room. The team captain was giveing a speech.

"We will wim because they only have 2 members so I don't know if we even need to try" the team capitan said motivationally.

We all cheered because that was the most motivating thing I've ever heard. Then we got our brooms and put on our robes ready to play.

We got out and literally no one was cheering for garbage. Katherine and engelica are the only ones in the house so I guess no one really like there house. Of course eliza had one sister in each team so she was cheering for both if she was even here because last I checked she was a starbucks so I don't know if she will come back any time soon.

Dumbledore was also the anouncer because no one else wanted the job so he had a big microphone. I turned to look at him and I gasped. Something was very differant about him… he shaved his beard! I'm so shook I thought shookly and I turned to hurules and told him shookly why I was shook and he became shook to which is what happened shookly.

We pointed it out to the whole team and they were all very shook too and one person even fainted.

Soon yhe whole stadium was staring at dumbledore. We could not beleive our occular organs.

"Alright" dumbledore said acting like no one was staring at him confidently "let's start this game"

Madame hooch was so distracted looking at dumbledores missing beard that she forgot it was her joob to realease the balls and dumbledore said "you can start the game now"

"Oh yeah" she said distantly and let the balls out of the case.

The game started and we all rode our brooms up. I caught the quaffle and threw it to another chaser on the team when katherine came and intercepted the ball and threw it straight through the hoop. The keeper was not able to catch it and they scored points. Beginners luck?

Ok this is definitely not beginners luck. Our team has not gotten a single chance to score and garbage was up by 2000 points. No one had seen the snitch yet. But if both people on the garbage team are chasers then who will catch the snitch? That question was answered when ourseeker spotted the snitch and angelica stopped being a chaser for a secondd to try and catch it but she didn't and neither did our seeker.

Then I looked in the audience and I saw jack and crunchity sitting next to eachother! I must get a picture. I pulled my phone out of my robes and took pictures. Then angelica took a beaters bat outif nowhere and hit me with a bludger! My own sister! I fell pff my broom and landed on the ground. I checked my phone to see if it broke because I cant lose my pictures and it didn't.

There's really no point in returning to the game because garbage will win anyways so I layed on the ground pretending to be dead for the rest of the game. N one seemed to notice.

Then katherine caught the snitch and the game was over the score was 0-24601 so we lost my a lott. Everyone came to the ground and then finally someone noticed me.

"OH NO PEGGYS DEAD I KILLED HER" angerlica said suddenly.

Everyone gathered around me and I continued to pretend to be dead to see who liked me the most.

Angelica and eliza were crying. No one thought to check if I was actually dead I guess they were too sad.

Then maria came over and saw me. She didn't look sad at all. "Oh well I never really liked her anyway" she said meanly.

"MARIA HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT I THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FRIENDS" I said getting up suddenly.

Maria started laughing and angelica and eliza were hugging me. "I knew you weren't dead so I was trying to get you up" she explained.

"DONT DO THAT PEGGY" angelica said scaredly.

"I'm so glad you're alive!" Eliza said lovingly.

I was still laughing with maria and I was glad she didn't hate me and I also got some new pictures. The only bad part about this day was losing which was kind of embarrassing since there were only 2 people on garbage team but oh well.

 **an: i am a hufflepuff so slytherin isn't the best house no hate though! but of cousre I am also in garbage house so I am hufflebage.**


	34. Chapter 34

**an: woah I've written so many chapters! Also I don't know much about football so I sort of made up the names of some football positions**

Albert pov

For some reason snape scheduled a football practice right after the quiditch game but oh well I don't really care. We also have a game tomorrow against ilvernourny.

"Time to run 525600 laps around hodwarts" snape said once everyone had gotten to the football feild. We have already had like 30 rehearsals and in all of them snapey has made us run laps the whole rehearsal and we have noot played any actual football yet. The laps thing really sucks for chrinkeio since he can't really run but he never complauns he's so nice. When snape isn't looking we carry him but snape yells at us and adds another lap every time he catches us. Of corse I always wear roller skates so I finish before everyone and snape doesn't yell st me.

We finished out laps but crutchie was still 76 laps behind so we waited for him and it took about an hour. The football practice had ran 12 hours behind so we have been writing for 15 hours instead of the scheduled 3 hours.

"Yahhh good job crutchie" we said as crutchie finished his laps.

We all went to dinner and we all felt like we were going to faint. We were all complaineing except for zachary sayle. We got back to the common room and we all immediately got ob the couch and went to sleep.

The next morning was the day of the football game. Finally a chance to actually play football. Spot was still mad that he was not on the team. I got up and I was still wearing my roller skates because I sleep in them.

Eliza had started a cheerleading team and they were getting ready. It included all the schuyler sisters and some people from other years and they were getting ready.

Spot was pouting. "Hey spot" eliza said cheerfully.

Spot just nodded at her to agknowledge her.

"What's wrong" eliza said cheerfully.

"I'm not on the football team" spot said poutily.

"Oh well if you want you can join the cheerleaders" eliza said cheerfully.

"Uh no thanks" spot said refusally.

"Come on please" eliza said cheerfully.

"...no" spot said but I could tell he wanted to.

"Stupefy" eliza saif cheerfully and stunned spot. She forced him to put on a cheerleading outfit. "Unstupefy" she said cheerfully when she was done.

"ELIZA" he said fake angrily.

"Haha no backsies" eliza said cheerfully.

"...fine" spot said uncheerfully.

"Stop being uncheerful" eliza said cheerfully.

"Okay!" Spot said suddenly cheerfully and sarcasticly. Spot is now on the cheerleading team I guess amazingly.

We all went to the changing room to change changily and we started to changily change in the changing room changily and we changed into our changey uniforms changily in the changing room. Something was weird about the jersies they didn't look like regular football jersies. But oh well I don't really pay attention to football I don't even know how I made the team. I also put on the roller skates that I had specifically for football and we all got on the feild. We had to help crutchey because he gas a crutch in case you forgot.

We got out to the feild and we saw the ilvermourney team on the other side of the field. They looked so in sinc and ready. I decided to give my team a pep talk.

"Ok guys huddle" I said preparedly. "This is our first game. I mean of course it is you all know that. I mean we haven't actually gotten around to playing football yet but we will start now. I think I should be the quarterback and race should be the runner back and crutchie should be a tackler so he can hit people with his crutch and katherine should be the other tackler but also the kicker and angelica should be the one who catches the ball when I throw it. We can do this we must be the fastest team out their accept cricket no offense but you walk with a crutch sorry but it's true. Also I don't know where our helmets are so it looks like we will be getting head injuries? Where is dumbledore we can't start until he gets here"

We all were looking around when we heard a sound coming from around the corner of the school. It sounded like a car. It was a red lambrogini that said grease lightning on the side and it was comeing very fast toward the feild. Suddenly it stopped right outside the field and dumbledore climbed out! But I barely recognized him because he died his hair black and cut it short and gelled it back and we already knew he had shaved his beard and he was wearing dark sunglasses and a leather jacket and jeans and black boots.

Everyone was staring at him and he came up to our team and flipped the collar of his leather jacket tryingtobecoolly and walked fake coolly up to us and said uncoolly "what up newspaperz are we ready to ROCK" he stuck out his toungue and made a hand motion and nodded his head as he said rock.

I needed to laugh really bad so I told him I had to go to the bathroom so I skated away to the bathroom and I guess the others needed to laugh to because they were following me to the bathroom. We all collapsed on the floor and couldn't stop laughing for a very long time. Soon they were all waiting for us to get on the feild but we weren't done laughing so bubblebore came to the door and stood outside it and yelled "hey cool cats ya done"

We tryed very hard to stop laughing but we were still giggling a little when we went out to the field.

We gathered on the field and were face to face with the other team. We did a coin toss to see who would get the ball and they wom. We went to the far end of the field so that we would be able to kick the ball at them because I think that's how football works? They looked kind of confused on why we were gfoing to the other side but it was probably my imagination. The referee blowed his whistle and the game started. Thats weird the game shouldn't start until we have the ball to kick at them i dont think… oh wait the referee is throwing a ball onto the field. Maybe british football rules were different… and then I remembered… british football is soccer! That was a soccer ball! I skated foreward and we all started to play soccer surprisedly instead of the football we had ecpexted and crutchie went to the goal that we somehow hadn't noticed and started being the goaly. M

We were not prepared to be playing soccer so we weren't winning at soccer at first but we eventually caught u and we were tied at half time. The cheerleaders went and did a performance which now includes spot who seems to now be enjoying himself.

I met with my team. I seemed to be the unoficial team captain so I decided to give another speech but I didn't really know what to say.

"Uhh.. so we played soccer which was kind of unexpected… but we adjusted. The more important thing we need to talke about is the fact that dumbledore is going crazy"

We started talking about things dumbledore have done this past few days and hiw he seems to be pretending to be cool. When we think about it dubledore had been acting weird ever since after the trail which was a long time ago.

Soon it was time to go back to the game. I saw spot in his cheeelader outfit and laughed again. Dumbledore was leaning against a wall with his arms folded. That made me laugh too. I skate back over and this time I am ready to play soccer this time. Crutchey is able to block goals with his crutch which is very useful.

We won the game! By 1 point. Next rehersal I think we actually need to do things besides run laps because it's a bit of an issue when whenever we parctice we dont do the actual sport so we don't even know what sport we're playinmg until the second it starts? Maybe something to bring up with snape? But oh well we won!

I skated up the stairs to the common room and everyone cheered. Apparently they all thought it was american football we were playing too. We lifted crutchie up in the air because he's a really good goaly he blocked most goals with his crutch! And no one could take it away from him or else we would fight them.

Spot was looking happier in his cheerleader skirt and I realized it was because before he was disappointed not to be playing football but we found out it was soccer and he hates soccer and is really bad at it so now he's glad he didn't make the team.

"Ok byt DUMBLEDORE THOUGH" I heard angelica say and everyone started talking about him.

 **an: haha plot twist! I also don't know anything about football but I wasn't hoing to say that at the beginning to not spoil. that was a really long chapter and also dumbledore might be going crazy but you'll see what he does bext**


	35. Chapter 35

**an: im so famous I have so many views and when your famous… the woild is yer erster**

Specs pov

Im getting so riche from these chip sales what will I do with my the cash. Croutonie came and bought 67 bags of dorotos today. But he had bought more before. Peggy also bought some tortilla chips for her guac.

It is time for dinner so I will go to the great hall with my friends.

"Did yoy know that snakes can eat things bigger than there heads" davey said as he picked up a 54 foot pizza. "They also don't swallow"

He stuffed the entire pizza in his mouth and swallowed it hole. He started chiking and dying. Eliza boredly dragged him off to the hospital foot for the 3 time this week since he always does snake thibgs that get him into the hospital wow davey my man is an idiot sometimes and by sometimes I mean all the time. He is really smart though and does a lot of peoples homwork for them.

Dumbledore cane in the great hall and I couldn't believe my wyes. Some people had told me about how he seems to have gonne crazy but I didn't know to believe it. Actually when I say gone crazy I mean even more crazy.

He stoof up to guve a speech. "Hey are all you cool cats ready for the HOGSMEADE VISIT THIS WERKEND" he waved his wand and confeti fell from the ceiling and dubstep music started to play. Dumbledpre started dancing crazily.

The music ended and the confeti was in our food. Dumbledore stopped dancing and didn't seem to notice everyone snapchatting his dance. "Ok but seriously there is a new rule that I have started recently and it is that there is no longer candy allowed in the school and also no chips"

Every one gasped suprisedly. I thought dumbledore loved candy? I wasn't really worried about the chips thing because I have allways been dealing chips in secret but now I have to be extra secret carefully. I was so surprised about the new rule that I didn't even eat dinner but not that I would want to there was confeti in it. But I went to the common room. Dumbledore is so weird.

The next moring ay brekfast he aslo did something really weird.

Davey was back from the dead and he got another howler from les. I smiled because les sais some weird things in his howlers. It opened and it started playing a song. Only the mughgle borns knew what song it was and started freaking out excitedly as it was playing. Sunce i am muggle born I knew what so g it was.

"NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESSERT YOU. NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY NEVER CONNA SAY GOODBYE NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU"

We all just got rick rolled. It was funny.

Dumbledore was wearing a different outfit today it looked like he is going theough an emo phase. He had black eyeliner and his black hair was streaked with red and he had an mcr chirt and black finerless gloves and black jeans. He got up in fromt of the whole school and made an announcement. "Hey students" he said depressedly. "I have an announcement. Our school will be starting a reality tv show about the forgotten first years and it will be directed by the person who is waiting around the corner to make her dramatic eneterence. Here she comes it's ritah skeetah!"

Ritah skeetah came in and smilled. She had an entire camera crew behind her and started filming immediately.

I faceplamed annoyedly. What is up with dumbledore these days. I don't want to be on reality tv but I've read ritah skeetah articles before and they were pretty good so st least the show might be good.

Then I realized that if she put cameras every where then it might be hard to deal chips. She had her friends go install cameras around the school and I went to see where they were putting cameras. They put some in literally every room in the intire school even the bathrooms! This might be a probleam.

I went back to the dorm qnd went to hang out with maira and eliza and we gossiped and painted our nails. We all thought the tv show was stupid and we forgot that their was a camera in there but oh well it's true.

 **an: dumbledores emo phase is a way to celebrate that I will be posting the first chapter of my new fic called hunted soon and it's a hunger games newsies crossover. The emo thing will only make sense as a reference to hunted if you read it so go read it if you like this. Also rose is going on vacation to new mexico (sadly not santa fe) so I will not have an editor so I appologize in advance for any spelling errors**


	36. Chapter 36

**an: roses gonee and huhnted is potsed so go reed uf u wanta! I'm verry sorry for mt spell i mite get rose too edit this ar sone point if is to bad**

Peggo pov

Mybe i will ask reetah skeetah too help wifth realitie tv show as a excuse to stalk peole I mean nottttt bean stalk peeple that is creeppy. I would get moar pictires of mu ships to! I think I wil ask her.

"Hey ritah will yo let my help uou with you'rr reeality show?" I ask youthfuly. "My name peggy and I kno lots bout people at this scool from thing that are definatily not stalking!"

Ritah look at me carefuly. "Wait so you a stalket becuse that wood be ouseful too have for the show"

"I gess I am a stalkr I try too know things abour everone." I said admitingly.

"Perfect I have a plain to get peeple too talk about there secret things that migt be a litle illegall" ritah said extraly.

"I lOvE iLeGaHl ThInGs!" I say readyly

"Ok pegleg we will bee neading vertiaseerim. That snap must have in potians store age so we will brack in" ritah said and I got exited. I would know ever thing!

"We can flim them an then erace there memary so they dont know hoe we know they're secrets" peggy addedd wisely.

"GREAT idear" ritah said.

"I wil dis track snapple and you can get thr poetion" I said.

"Ok" ratah said. She wentto snape potian storeage and i went to snape ofice to distrat him.

I had an ideea for the distracion and puled somthing out off my bag that I alway carry with meh. It was a pumkin presadent obama mask. I put it on vertibrately.

Snape was in the meddle off a classs so I don't realy need to distracc him butt I wanted too.

I open the doore and sprinted in and pushed all the thinngs of his desk nd jumpped on his desk and stared flossing on the desk. I can't do it a the sped of lite like lafaiette but I can so i pritty fast.

I tryed to talk in a irish axent but it didn't relly work but I said "helloo proffesor snoop dog how's it goin"

He tryed to grab meh off the desk but I jumpped to another student desk which I notised lafayete was sitting at so I pull him up on the desk woth me and we bothe flossed and dabbed at he same time eben thogh hes better then me.

"DETANTION TO WHO EVER YOU ARE" snip said to me. I toke out my wand and made bluo smoak go qll over the room. I also did a spell too make the roon smell like fryed chiken for 39.5 hours eggsactly. I altso use the confiucion to wash snapes hair for one in his lyfe. It looks so cleen! Soon the smoake cleered And I ran away.

Snapey ran doen te hall look dor me but I was gonne. I ran into reetah in the halllways.

"OBAMA!" Snap screened down the hallwat.

"How that four a didtracton" I said bragingly.

"Omg! Peggy? I dint realise that wwas you! That was a purfect distrack!" Ritah skeetah said cheetahly. I reelized I was stil wereing the mask.

We ran fastly away frum snappys voise. Ritah stil has the veryseerim and we ar runing with it.

We ade plans too intoredgate ever one in my year tomoroe.

 **an: this wes kinnda short cimpare too resent shapters so sorry i miht not writ a nother chapeter untill rose grts back so you won't have too deel with my speeling but I will do mor hunted becuse I'm reely exites about it and I can't wait to pubblish more**


	37. Chapter 37

**an: rose is vack so less spelling errors! Shoutout to rose for haveing to deal with all of that now you can see what she has to deal with whenever she edits love you rose! I have some new chapters of hunted that I published too but they are unedited as well**

Peggy pov

Today I will interogate each person in my year I'm so excited to learn all there secrets! Although this is a little bit illegal no one can sue us because we will be erasing there memories and ritah already taught me the memory erase charm. She will be unable to make it so she's letting me film and edit the important parts. After the interigations ritahs first episode has come out. Yesterday she had interviewed us all and she made it into an introduction episode and after I will edit and next weeks episode will be all mine ritah will have no input. I can put anything i want.

It's time! I got a filming room and I set up the cameras. Ritah had told every one too meet us in the waiting room and I would call each in this room. My ships will be here!

The first person was ready to be comeing in. I looked on the list. "Aaron burr" I called and he came in. I gave him a glass of water but he didn't know it gad veritiserum in it! Aaron started telling me all his secrets. All of them were really boring but then he said one that interested me….

"I don't actually have a girlfriend I just tell people I do and show them pictures of my friends sister"

WOAH maybe I don't need to know everyone secrets. I obliviated him and went to find ritah to tell her I didn't want to interview anyone else.

I found her and told her that I didn't want to find out secrets about anyone else.

"Peggy you have to do this interview thing or else your expelled from hogwarts and so are your sisters and yes I am allowed to do that" ritah said.

Oh no! I don't want to get expelled! I have to do this I guess because I didn't want it to be my fault for eliza and angelica to get expelled.

I did find out some pretty nice secrets that ritah would find interesting. Next was spot and I found out that he's in love with race! I knew it! I also found out he makes asmr youtube videos.

Albert was next and he told me that he sleeps in his roller skates. Thomas hates everyone in our year exept james. Alex can't read. Katherines real last name is pulitzer. A lot of other boring things that I didn't really want to know.

Soon I kew every secret but I didn't want to becaude this is illegal and ritah is forking me. That's so mean

Now it's time for us all to watch her first episode. We all gather in the great hall and it started playing.

Nothing on the show was true! It said davey and john were haveing a secret affair and they are now looking at eacho ther embarassedly. It also said that katherine and angelica hate eachother which is not true either and lots more untrue things it said untruely.

I was so mad! I decided that I would make my episode about how ritah skeetah sucks. I went to my dorm and started to edit the film.

I made something that was perfect! It suddenly came across my mind that ritah doesn't have the power to expell anyone so we're safe i think?

I started following ritah around filming her for my video. I'm so excited to show it lots off people will realise how she suckssss!

I felt so guilty about knowing everyones seceets that I obliviated myself guiltily. I know that could have gone very wrong but it didn't I don't think so I guess I'm fine? Unless I'm just forgetting about something but I don't remember

Now it is time to show my episode but ritah hasnt seen it.

"Hey pegs how whas the filming" ritah asksd me

"It was fantastic" I said sarcasticly but she didn't notice

"Ok grest i trust you" ritah said but she shouldn't trust me muahahaha I thought evillaughingly.

The thing starts playing and the title said "ritah skeetah sucks don't at me" then it showed her in the hogwarts kitchen eating the last piece of pizza then later it showed her tellingly everyone that she didn't eat it! That poroves how bad she is. It also showed her breaking into snipplesnapples office sneakily. Then it showed her picking her nose with her really long fake nails and she stabbed herself in the nose. Then the last thing I showed was her eating a kit kat by biting straight into it instead of breaking off the pieces of the bar. The end and everyone loved it! Yay! I pulled out a banner that I made earlier that said "reetah skeetah sucks" and I started chanting it and so did other people. She was mad and left the school and wuit the reality tv show which was good because I don't like people filming me.

Everyone considered me a hero honorably. I wasn't really a hero I was just saying the truth but I'm not complaining whiningly.

 **an: something big is about to happen but I think I will have one more chapter before it happens**


	38. Chapter 38

**an: woah we haven't had thomas pov in a while**

Thomas pov

I woke up amd really wanted to make mac and cheese so I did.

 **an: Thats it because I just came up with a new idea for this chapter that I like better**


	39. Chapter 39

**an: ok here's an actual longer chapter sorry about that last one**

Angelica pov

I woke up and went to the great hall without any cameras fimling me thanks to peggy! I think I will go thank her now.

"Hey peggy whats up" i said and sat at he slytherin table because katherine wasn't here yet and I didn't want to sit alone.

"Hey angelica" she said cheerfully.

"I just wanted to thank you for getting rid of ritah skeetah because I was getting really annoyed by all the filming." I said

"Oh yeah thanks i did it because she made me interogate everyone and then obliviate them" peggy said casually

"WHAT" I said successfully. "Wait so now you know everything about everyone" I asked.

"No I obliviated myself so I would forget" I said casually.

"PEGGY that's dangerous" I said madly.

"Eh I think it worked so it's fine" peggy said boredly.

"But what if you forgot something" I said concernedly.

"I don't think I did" peggy said dismisingly.

"But what if you did" angelica said.

Then eliza came over. "Hey guys how are you today" she said smilly. Eliza and me had a short conversation but peggy didnt talk for some reason and she was making a weird face.

When eliza left peggy was still looking confused.

"What" I asked confusedly. Then I realized what she had done… "YOU DIDNT" I screamed amusedly.

"What" she asked.

I talked quietly so no one heard and I said and whispered to peggy "you obliviated eliza from your memory"

"Wait who's eliza" she said.

"YOUR SISTER" i yelled forgetting to be wuiet so no one heard and everyone looked at me.

"Wait what" peggy said

"You have a second sister" I explained annoyedly.

"No your joking" peggy said.

"No I'm not" i said Seriously.

"Oh no what do we do" peggy said panicedly.

"Is there a way to unobliviate someone" I asked wonderingly.

"I don't know we should ask someone" peggy said.

"We can ask catherine because she's really smart" I said proudly.

"Ok let's go find her" peggy said readyly.

We went to tge garbage and found katherine getting ready to go to the great hall but before she could I stoped her to ask her a question.

"Ok so hypotheticly if someone hypotheticly obliviated themselves then how would you hypotheticly get the memory back. Remember this is comepletely hypothetical" I said suspiciously.

Katherine looked at me suspiciously and said "well theirs a potion that gets memory back but it doesn't work on all memoies"

"Ok great now hypotheticly how would I make it for this hypothetical person." I asked questionly.

"The recipie is in this book I have from the library do you need help making it" katherine said. "Hypotheticly of course" she added sarcastically

"Hypotheticly yes" I said hypotheticly.

"Ok lets go to the potions room" ketherine said and we went to the potions room togetherly and we had forgotten that peggy was with me so we left her their.

We got all the potions ingredients and made the potion hypotheticly and it only took about an hour.

We went to look for peggy but we couldn't find her. Then we ran into race in the hallway.

"Hey race your a particularly good finder right" i asked hopefully.

"Yeah I guess" he said hufflepuffly.

"Can you find peggy for us" I asked pleasely.

"Oh yeah sure" he said and started looking. He had only been looking for 10 seconds when he said "there she is" and she was walking down the hallway towards us.

"Hey peggy drink this hypotheticly" I said because katherine was still there.

She drank it. "Did it work" i asked hopefully.

"I only got like half of my memories of her back but thanks anyway it's better then none" she said gratefully.

Katherine looked at us knowingly. "Shut up" i said.

"I'm not even talking" she said.

"Just shut up" I said donely.

Peggy looked at the 2 of us shippingly.

"You shut up too" I said to peggy. "Anyway you will need to pertend you remember eliza so she doesn't know and you just need to get to know her better" I said changingthesubjectly.

"Ok" peggy said and walked away

Katherine was still looking at me that way but I didn't really care anymore and I thanked her for her help with the potion.

 **an: kathgelica is the best couple well maybe not the best but still**


	40. Chapter 40

**an: now to continue that chapter with thomas I guess I could of deleted that chapter that was also thomas but oh well. Also thank you to whoever reviewed! I really like getting reviews so if you want to you should review**

Thomas pov

"JAMES" I yelled loudly and jumped on his bed lovingly. Albert and finch woke up madly and glared at me angerly.

"Go away thomas I don't feel well" james said sickly.

"Oh no not again" I said boyfriendly and kissed his forehead comfortingly. I made sure he was comfortabke and then Reluctantly went to brekfast.

When I got there something weird was going on but I couldn't figure out what it was so I figured it was imagining it and went to eat. For some reason they didn't have mac and cheese for brekfast which I will file a complaint about soon just like I have been doing every day this school year but every time I do that I get a not from dumbledore saying "mac and cheese is stupid" which I disagree with

Dumbledore was wearing his leather jacket and sunglasses so it looked like he was over his emo phase (thank god) but he was also laughing about something but I didn't know what which it what I might be noticing with the weird thing

I drank my orange juice and something weird happened I think it was drugged. It was a potion and suddenly I couldn't stop dancing. That's what was weird! Everyone was dancing! Dumbledore must have done it because he's laughing very hard at everyone.

I will get my revenge…

After thepotion wore off I broke into dumbledore office and I glued all of his cabnets closed and I put a note that said "love thomas jefferson. "

Then later that day I went to my dorm and my side of the room was painted orange along with all my belongings and clothes. I should get revenge again.

I replaced his shampoo with blue hair dye. He put a mouse in my bed. I changes the password to dumbledores office to "thomas jefferson is amazing" and he refused to say it until mcgonagall changed it back. He put a spell on me so I could only rap for a whole day. It kept going on and on.

One day during dinner I was planning my next prank and I noticed something weird. Dumbledore was the only teacher at the table besides snake and the doors to the grape hall were locked so no one could get out. Dumbledore started to do this laugh that sounded kind of evil but I'm not judging maybe it's part of the cool guy thing he has going on.

After a few minutes everone gave up on trysing to get out and I noticed everyone in the school was here except the teachers obviously

Dumbledores laugh was getting really evil? Maybe he is evil I thought jokingly.

Then as I was looking at him something happened and he started changing into another person?

 **an: haha sorry cliffhanger but soon you will know whats up with dumblydore**


	41. Chapter 41

**an: here we go with dumbledore and stuff! I think this will be a long chapter instead of dividing this event into 2 chapters but maybe not we'll see**

Jack pov

I was talking to peggy aboit how weird it was that we couldn't get out when croopie who was sitting next to me nudged me and pointed at dumbledore who was legit changing into a whole another person painfully. My dude you think I'll fall for that? This prank is getting ridiculous on how good their making the special affects for a prank on just one person am I really worth spending all that the cash?

Soon everyone was staring at him. Once he was done changing into this other person he looked at us all and I looked at him unsurprisedly. He didn't have a nose and he was really pale like so pale has he ever gone outside in his life and red eyes. I went back to eating my dinner because this prank is stupid and i won't even fake surprise at this it's too weird. Literally everyone else was looking at him surprisedly because they were all actors and were faking surprise even crutchey is an actor but he might actually like me? I don't know maybe he does or doesn't but I know that he's an actor.

Then the dude that used to be dumbledore said "accio wands" and everyones wands sorry I meant sticks flew to him including mine which was kind of weird because i could have sworn there wasnt a string attatched to my stick a second ago.

Cruthie got scared and reached for my hand and we held hands couplely. Peggy got out her phone and took a picture of us even during this "scary" was freaking out then because some people seemed to know exactly who he was but I didn't so I just went baxk to eating

Some people tried to run and grab there wands from the pile that was behind the guy but he did a spell and all of us in the great hall were forced into a position where we were all standkng straight up (not that I can do anything straight haha get it? It's a gay joke) but anyway I couldn't move andneither could anyone else. I wasn't holding krutchies hand anymore whichh was kind of sad. I'm not sure how in the newspaper they did this to me because even I couldn't move. That's kind of weird.

Then the dude started to talk. "Hello students of hogwarts. I know this might be kind of confusing that I used to be dumbledore but I was actually me the whole time ever since after that trial. Oh and by the way I'm voldemort but don't call me by that name call me you know who because only my friends are supposed to call me by my real name and were not friends. I have been taking polyjuice potion all year that has made me turn into dumbledore and I've had him tued up in the dungeons where all the teachers are now in case you were wondering. Well all the teachers who aren't death eaters lol. I've had 2 death eaters here helping me and they were snepe haha I bet you had no idea and the other one was ariel the mermaid in the black lake."

I gasped financially. I had seen spot talking to ariel the mermaid and I had heard a rumour that she was in love with race. Wow I am getting too invested in the fake gossip of this fake school I'm getting way too surprised at this. As for snape I always knew he was mean like he always made my crutchi run lots of laps for soccer and I wanted to yell at snape but crunchity wouldn't let me. Also he seemed to really hate everyone who was pretending to be muggle born which included me so I guess he's just racist which is not good

Voldemort (I'm not calling him you know who because that's stupid and this is a prank anyway) continued his speech "and so I'm here because for the past while I don't even remember how long I've been here I think it was a few months but since than I've been drugging you're food with a drug that will put you all under my control. But for some reason it doesn't work on people who think hogwarts isn't real but that's not any of you so I'll just be getting on with it. Imperio" he said and everyone started to do anything he said. Well everyone accept me.

I suddenly realized how ridiculous this prank was and laughed really hard so hard I was on the floor. Voldemort looked at me suspiciously and said "why didn't it work? Crucio"

Dangggg that was really painful. Like more painful then that time I stepped on a lego. It felt like my entire boddy stepped on a lego but they were extra painful legos.

"Pick him up off the ground" voldemort said to the mind controlled people around me which included crutchie! The love of my life has turned on me! After I was off the ground voldemort ordered him to punchh me and he did which to me felt more painful then the torture thing because crutcheiyieuaeieye my bf had betrayed me. This was like extra extra painful legos. Maybe this whole wizard school isn't a prank? I don't see how a lot of this could be special affects anymore

"Maybe it will work now" voldemort said and pit the spell on everyone again. It still wasn't working on me but I was pertending it did so I didn't have to do the torture thing again. Not a prank?

Voldemort sent us all out into the hallways controllingly after he unlocked the door dictatorly. I took the chance without voldemort watching me to hide in a empty classroom nearby.

DUDE this isn't a prank confirmed. I'm freaking out. Magic is real and hogwarts is real and these people aren't actors and all of my friends will die and so will I help.

AND CRUTCHIE noooo he doesn't deserve this. I can't believe I ever thought he was an actor I'm so stupid. I wasn't good enough for him I don't deserve him I love him so much. And now he will die i need to save him. This is important! He could actually die and I would be single again?

As soon as everyone was out of the hallways I snuck out. I have to think of something to do. Oh I know I will go free the teachers from the dungeons. Oh wait I should get my wand first.

In the great hall voldemore was handing each student balc their wand leaderly. I pretended to be mind controlled convincingly and got my wand back. Voldemort ordered us all to make sure no one else was unmindcontroled left in the school. We all left

I pretended to search the school and everyone went back to the great hall but I took that chance to escape. I went to the dumgeons to find the teachers.

I heard one of the teachers inside the cell and I heard the musical theatre teacher who was named miss medda say "oh no someone's comeing"

Mcgonnagall said "it's jack kelly! He's probably mind controled" worriedly.

"Oh no I'm not mind controlled I've come to free you" I said comfortingly. I still can't believe this not a prank? Like actual magic and wizards and evil wizards too

A lot of the teachers seemed to believe me but mcgonagall didn't look convinced. She said "prove it. I will ask you a question only jack knows and I will see if you are actually conteolled by volemort. Where do you want to move?"

Haha that's an easy one " santa fe!" I said enthoosiasticly.

"Jack! Your here to save us" mcgonagall said thankfully.

I couldn't find the key so I told them all to stand back and blasted the door open. We all hurried out because now they know that we're down here. We all went to hide in an empty classroon and we heard voldemort saying "the teachers escaped! Find them and kill them!l"

Oh no we will all die

Once we made it to the classroom I turned to the teachers and said nervously "is there a way to reverce it"

"Actually I think there's one way" mcgonagall said

"How I asked eagerly.

"If you show them something they love" dumbledore said. I gasped angstily because I hadn't not noticed him since I let them all free. He had his beard again and he wasn't wearing a leather jacket.

"Oh ok we can do that then" I said.

"We could have you all pretend to be mind conrtolled and then suddenly you start attacking and drive him out of the school" medda suggested helpfully.

"Yes that's a good idea" I said. I thought about what was happening and how I could actually die since this wasn't a prank

We decided that I would be the only one going because I could pertend to be mind controlled but the teachers couldn't so I had to guess what everyone loved which might be hard but we'll see.

The first person I saw in the halway was crutchey. Oh this is just too easy. I just walked up to him and kissed him gayly and he stopped being mind controlled.

"Jack I'm so sorry" crutchey said appologetically since he remembered punching me.

"Nah it's ok partner" I said finely. Then I explained to him the plan with all the mind control stuff. We decided that I would unmindcontrol people and cruchio would tell them the plan since all of them would be confused it would kind of get anoying and crutchey is the least likely to punch anyone.

The first person we ran into was tomas. I showed him mac and cheese because he loves it so much. Then we ran into all 3 schuyler sisters at once and we showed them eachother. For some reason peggys mind control wasn't broken when we showed her eliza but it was when we showed her angelica that's kinda weird I guess they have some sister drama going on? That's interesting. Next is hames and we showed him thomas this is so easy. Then was katherine and we showed her a ceiling fan but she wouldn't stop staring at it after so we had to drag her a way. Next was finch which was kind of hard because I don't even know what he likes but before I could do anything he forgot that he was mind controled and asked us what was happening. Hercules came and I showed him a mask that peggy had with her that looked like a pumpkin obama mask maybe? Anyway he stopped being mind controlled and put on the mask and wouldn't take it off. Then spot and race came and I had an idea. I didn't really know if it would work but I showed them eachother and it worked! I knew it! My ship! I definitely will be telling peggy about this we need to set them up! Oh newspaper I'm becoming peggy help me. We showed davey a snake and john a turtle and for maria me and crutchey just kissed in front of her and we showed aaron a picture of his girlfriend that he had airdropped to the whole school and specs chips and lafayette flossing and alex sadness and albert roller skates.

I seem to have forgotten that people exist outside our year so I showed everyone who I didn't know fortnight and it worked on a lot of people. Then everyone knew the plan and we all pertended to be mind controled and went to the great hall.

Once we were all in their voldemort started going on a rant about snakes or something and I swear to newspaper davey almost broke character which I would need to talk to medda about since she would need to teach us all musical theatre and acting was an important part but right before he did I yelled "GO" and everyone put the same spell on him at the same time which was that spell that tickles people. Voldemort started laughing ticklishly. He looked embarassed and left the school.

We all cheered. Haha wow that was a good prank. I can't believe I thought for even a second that this wasn't a prank. It's so obvious

All of the teacchers came into the great hall and walked angerly towards snape who was wearing a death eater costume.

"Snape your evil!" Mcgonagall said surprisedly.

Snape said nervously "haha no I'm not! Nope definitely not evil lol. I was just joking the whole time I was being a spy!" Snape saud unconvincingly.

"That sounds fake your going to jail" mcgonagall said.

"I believe him" dumbledore said disagreeably.

"Why" mcgonagall said offendedly.

"Because he had a crush sorry Wait I mean obsession with a muggle born girl a couple years ago" dumbledore said.

"Fine" mcgonnagall said reluctantly.

"Haha yeah great no evil here" snape said untruthfully.

I found creepie in the crowd and kissed him homosexually because I love him unplatonicly. "I love you" I said gayly.

Crutchiy looked very excited when I said that. "I love you too" he said attractedtothesamesexly.

I kissed him again for a long time and I realized that peggy was recording us the whole time with that whole conversation! Oh well I don't really care let me go back to kissing crutchey!

 **an: i bet you all thought sceptic jack was gone but nopeeee! that show them what they love thing was kind of cheesy but I did that completely for the sprace moment which will be important when they get together so yes that will be happening soon. also snape is a horrible person so I'm not sorry for that snape hate moment I think that was my longest chapter yet and a really long author note too so I'm sorry about that but I hope you enjoyed!**


	42. Chapter 42

**an: does anyone even read these author notes?**

Maria pov

It's time for our fanfiction club meeting! I'm so excited because peggy said she got a video of jacrutchey that she wants me to see.

We both made plans to get their before jack so he coulnt stop us from watching the video. I went into the libray and went to the back where peggy was sitting. She got out her phone and showed me the video. Jack and cruthie were saying that they loved eachother! Yes! My ship!

Soon jack cmae to the table and the first thing he said cheerfully was "spot and race are in love with eachother"

"WHAT" me and peggy squealed at the same time simultaneously.

Jack started telling the story of how they became unmindcontrolled by looking at eachother.

We all started freaking out. Peggy got out her sprace pictures and I continued my sprace fanfiction that was called boi from brooklyn and jack continued his sprace fan art.

"We should get them together" peggy said shiply. We got a plan where we would casually ask spot if he liked anyone while he didn't know that jack and race would be easdropping!

Later that day me and peggy went to find spot and jack went to find race. We found polka dot outside by a tree. "HEY SOOT WHATS UP" i said excitedly.

"Shhh predend to not have a evil plan" peggy whispered to ms casually.

"What did you say peggy" spot said nothearingly.

"Uhhh nothing let's go talk over there" peggy said accurately and she pointed over to a place where hack and race would have a good hiding spot to hide in.

"Uh ok" spot said sppotly.

"So what's going on spot" I said casually.

"Um well nothing really" spot said inlovewithracely.

"Ok that's fun… you know you can tell us anyting right spot" I said helpfully.

"Ok?" Apot said weirdly.

I looked over and I saw jack and race hiding! Spot was about to look over to see what I was looking at but I distraceted him cleverly and I said "look over their" and I pointed in another direction. Peggy high fived me for my good distraction.

"What is over there" spot asked cinfusedly.

"Mothing i was just joking" I said.

"So spot do you like anyone" peggy said uncasually.

"No" spot said lyingly.

"Are tou sure" peggy said interogationly.

"Yes I am" spot said wantingtoleavely.

"Ok well…. are you IN LOVE with anyone" I asked interestingly.

"No? I already told you that" spot said spracely.

"Not even someone who's name starts with a R and then the next letter is A and the next letter is C and the last letter is E" I asked subtly.

"Race?" Spot asked spellingly.

"Yes" peggy said confirmingly.

"You think I'm in love with race" spot asked surprisedly.

"Yes" I said impatianty.

"So is that a yes" peggy said.

"Is that a yes? Uh well" spot said notansweringly.

"AHA WE KNEW IT" I screamed shiply.

"Shhhh" spot said emberessedly.

I looked ober at the place where jack and race were hiding but they weren't there! I looked at my phone and jack had texted me saying that race had left when we started asking who spot liked and he said no because he thought taht spot hated him. I showed the text to peggy and she groaned sadly.

"What is that" spot asked curiously.

"Nothing we have to go" I said getting up and running away with peggy. Noooo! We had finally gotten spot to admit he likes race and our plan didn't even work out!

"We need a new plan" jack said helpfully and we all started working on a new plan but we will have to do it after christmas break which is coming soon

 **an: sprace will be soon din't woorry.**


	43. Chapter 43

**an: merry christmas even though its not actually christmas**

Crutchu pov

It's almost chrismas I love chrismas so much and I heared that hogwarts has lots of chrismas decorations every year so I will be staying and so will jack with me! I'm so excited to see the chrismas decorations. Everyone will be leaving for chrismas break soon but after this wuiditch game that I almost forgot about because I was too busy thinking about chrismas but that means i will be late which is not good because hufflepuff is playing and I'm on the team.

I crutched as fast as I could to the quiditch feild and got ready really fast to be ready for the game. The team was already warming up with there brooms when I got their.

"Hey crutchuieowe What's up" race said greetingly. He was not on his broomstick because he's really bad st flying and he can't fly without falling.

I got on my broom which had a car seat and a seatbelt on it because jack makes me wear it but it's fine because there's a povket for me to keep my doritos that I eat during games.

The game started and wit who are we even playing? Oh wait it's ravenclaw ok that's good because it's not garbage who are realllllly good fantasticly.

The second we took off on our brooms race couht the snitch since he is a particularly good finder. We didn't even get the chance to play at all

Noone had tome to celbrate because everyone id leaving for chrismas break! Accept me and jack apparently. And maybe a few other peope? Well see

We got back to the dormtree and everyone was gone and the train has already left so I guess no one in our year stayed. That's lit

"So we have the hole dormtory to ourselves…." jack said flirtily.

"Yeah…" I said sexualtensionly.

"We can do whatever we want..." jack said sexily. I knew we were both thinking of doing the same thing.

"We can… SING DUETS TOGETHER AS LOUD AS WE WANT" I said excitedly.

We sang lots of songs like love is an open door from frozen and something to beleive in but we couldn't remember whaf that was from.

Right when we were in the middle of singing verry loudly the door to the common room opened but we didn't notice. It was katherine! Soon we realized she was there but we wanted to finish our song so we kept singing while she listened and laughed at us.

"Hey katherine what are you doing here" I asked gayly.

"I'm staying for chrismas too and I got lonely so I came here" katherine said explainingly.

We all sang songs about katherine being the third wheel like a heart full of love from les mis even thkugh katherine isn't even in love with jack that would be crazy right? But that was the only third wherling song we could think of so we sang other songs.

Chrismas was very fun and jack got mae a present which was a swimming pool full of doritos and a pet porkypine and sauna pants and a cardboard cut out of himself and a lifetime supply of oxyclean and potty putter and I got him a fidget spinner and a shake weight and moon shoes and a card board cut out of myself and a slightly rabid racoon and a snape chia pet. We might have got eachother a little too much presents but oh well.

Soon it was over after we sang lots of songs and chrismas songs with jack and kathgerine and I and everyone came back to school with there presents. Also aaron wouldn't stop talking about his girlfriend and how he spent chrismas with her and showing us pictures of her from the break.

I got to the great hall for the welcome back feast and for some reason dumbledore wasn't their? I had never sean him miss a meal or be late which was weird. Oh well he might be hear later? Or at least I thought because ritah skitah came into the great hall and sat right where dumblefore usually sits? That's so weird

Every one started talking about it and wondering what was happening but noone asked her about it. One we are all done with dinner she stood up and stadted to tell a speech reporterly. "Hello children you're might be wondering why I here but I will explain. Dumbledore got fired and taken to akaban for being volemort that one time and I will take his place as head master until he maybe comes back bht he might not because he has a trial and he might fail it. So yeah I'm the headmaster. Now I lnow that whole reality tv show didn't work out which is why the first thing I will do as headmaster is have a season of the bachelorette at hogwarts which is completly diffrent from a reality tv show. Most of the people in this shcpol are too young to be doing thos which is why we are using all of the forgotten first years. All of the boys in that yeear will be required to particpate no matter what. Ok that's it bye" she speeched speechly.

But I can't do this I'm gay? Me and jack looked at eachother notstraightly but we both know that we can't get put of this so I guess we will just have to try to lose.

 **an: i dont really know how the bachoeloregte works so im just kind of guessing. I know I probably shouldn't of included it if I don't know how it works so I'm sorry about that but I needed the plot point it will be important later**


	44. Chapter 44

**an: i know I said fhis many times but I have so many views! thank you if you have read this far into my story it means a lot**

Race pov

Dudessss. The bacelorette? I don't want to do this I'm in love witg spot gayly? Why is reetah skeetah so mean I'm pretty sure like at least half the people in our year are not straight? And she is putting us on a straight tv show? What happens if I win? What happens if spot wins? Oh no!

All of the contrstents had to gatger in a room so that ritah skeetah could do an episode where it introduces everyone. All of the boys in the room look like they don't wanto be here unheterosexually. But whoever the girl was she wasnt here.

Ritah skeetah came in and said lizardly "hello boys who's excited!" No one in the room said anything because none of us were excited. "That's the spirit!" She said ignoringly. "Now can we have the camera go down the line and each person will say there name" when it was spots turn i gave him bunny ears! Pranked! No ome said anything about it so I guess they will keep it in prankly. Finch forgot what we were supposed to say and ritah skeetah had to remind him like 6 times before he got it right.

"Alright that's everyone" ritah said finishedly. "Now we can meet the bachelorette!l"

The door opened dramaticly and smoke started comeing out dramaticly and music started playing dramaticly and the girl came in slowly dramaticly. It was ariel the mermaid who is in love with me! She is being wheeled around on a couch. I have no hope of losing this contest I know I will be winning and I will have to marry ariel!

"This is ariel. Now everyone will have to take her out on a first date and she will decide who to elemonade from the competion." Ritah skeetah said interestingly. Ariel was staring right at me straightly! I was staring right at spot gayly. I really don't think that me and ariel are a good match.

Ritah skeetah and ariel and all the camera peopke left the room leavingly and so I turned to all of the contestence and I asked demonically "ok so how many of us will be actually trying on this competiton?" Literally no one raised there hands. Then I asked hopingtolosely "ok then how many of us will be trying to lose" literally everyonee raised there hands energetically. "Well y'all can fight me because I'm going to lose better" I said fightingly. But I know that's probly not true since arial will probaly rig it to make me win.

I have an ideo for a bad first date. It will be horse back riding! I know it will be very hard because she is a mermaid and maybe I can convince a horse to step on her. Not many people know this but I speak horse which I learned from my friend roger who went to my old school who is basicly a horse.

Then I ran into peggy and maria in the hallway. "Hey spot we have something to ask you" peggy said sneakily.

"What" I said casually.

"ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH SPOT" peggy asked loudly.

"Shhh" I said shushingly.

"Is that a yes" maria said excitedly.

"Well… it's not a no…" I said aviodingly.

"I want to hear you say the words I am in love with spot conlon" maria said pushingly.

I looked around the hallway to make sure no ome was around and then I said very quietly "I am in love with spot colon" I said admitingly.

Peggy and maria both screamed shiply and then I relized peggy was recording the whole conversation! Then I tried to grab her phone but it was too late! She put the video on her snapchat story.

"NEWSPAPER YOU PEGGY" I screamed and ran to find slot which wasn't hard since i am a particularly good finder. Peggy and madia ran after me to try to stop me from finding spot but they couldn't find me since they are not particularly good finders so all you could hear was their screaming.

"Hey spot can I borrow you're phone" I asked hurriedly.

"Why" he asked probablystraightly.

"Because…. I need to call my mom" I said orphanly.

"I thought you didn't have a mom" spot said confusedly.

"I can't believe you would bring that up" I said fakecryingly.

"NO SPOT DONT DO IT" peggy screamed somewhereelsely. Spot looked confused for a second but ignored the voice.

"Ok fine take it" spot said notwantingmetocryly.

I broke into his phone and unadded peggy on snapchat. But now the whole school will know my secret I just hope they don't tell him! I gave spot back his phone.

"You didn't call anyone though" spot said.

"Yeah that's because I don't have a mom so I can't call her" I said cleverly.

Spot rolled his eyes and walked away. Peggy and maria came into the hallway just as spot was gone. "NO SPOT" maria said outofbreathly.

"He's gone" I said heppily.

"NOOOO WHYYYY" peggy said sadly.

"Hey peggy can I borrow you're phone" I asked casually.

"Why" she asked suspiciously.

"Because I don't have a mom" I said.

"Uhhh ok?" Peggy said sympatheticly.

She gave me her phone but i didn't know her password so I had to guess. I typed in "sprace" and I got it first try! I went to her snapchat but a lot of people have already seen it and I deleted the video.

"Ha I can't beleive you fell for that" I said trickly.

"NOOOO" peggy said denially.

Yay spot doesn't know now i can go back to pertending to be straight.

 **an: thats how the bachelorette works right?**


	45. Chapter 45

**an: there is this fic me and rose read and I reference it in every fic I write at least once so if you can figure out what fic it is comment and I will love you forever**

Ariel pov

RACD RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE RACE

All of the dates I went on today were trash! Aaron would not stop talking about his girlfirend the whole time and he was talking about how much prettier she is then me.

Spot took me skydiving which was very hard with a tail and he wouldn't let me not go when I said I was scared he just pushed me off the plane before I even got my para shoot on but luckily we landed in water so I didn't need my para shoot and I only had to stay in the hopital for a few days!

Albert took me roller skating but I couldn't with my tail so he just had be watch while he roller skated.

Finch had forgotten about our daet so he took me to the grocery store and then he forgot what he had wanted to get at the grocery store so he bought 1 can of beans and then he forgot why he was getting the beans so he gave me the beans as a present and then he forgot that he gave me the beans and tool the beans back and then he started eating them and then he forgot he was eating them and left so I was just left with a half eaten can of beans.

Alex took me on a walk to the blacc laccc and talked for 9 hours about when he lived in the pinata and his dad left him and his mom got sick and died and how he also got sick but didn't die and his cousin killed himself and he hitch hiked on a boat and theh beat him up and he got on. Another boat and they took him back and he got on another boat and they pushed him off and he swam 56 miles to shore and he begged for the cash and sold poems. He went through that story so mang times I now have it memorised.

Davey took me snake hunting and I got bit by a snake because I couldn't escape with my tail so I had to stay in the hospital again but he wpuld not stop saying snake facts while I was on the ground dying. And he only took me to the hopital after john came into the forbidden forest ans told him to take me to the hopital. And also my wheely couch wouldn't fit in the forest so I had to drag myself on the ground.

Thomas fed me mac and cheeze and wouldn't let me stop eating it so I got really fat and I had to swim around the lake thousands of times to swim it off.

When I wheeled myself in for jacks date he was kissing crutchey! And when I tried to get his attention but he didn't hear me. It took a long tome to get his attention and when I did he invited crutchei to our date! We went to a movie except the only 3 seats open were 2 right in the perfect movie watching spot with completely normal people next to them and 1 in the front row sitting next to a guy with no pants on and a woman who would not stop sweating. Jack and crutchuie took the 2 seats next to eachother and I was stuck between pantsless dude and sweaty lady. And the movie was star wars and I've never seen a star wars movey so I was really confused the whole time but jack and crutchey seemed to understand. And then the baby in the row behind me barfed on me really early into the movie so I was covered in barf the whole time. And then sweatie lady thought my tail was fake and startwd touching it and asking me about it and got sweat all over me.

Lafayette took me to an american history musam but since there are none in scotland where hogwarts is so we had to take an airplane but we didn't have seats together. Lafayette was in first class and I was next to another baby who kept barfing on me and a lady who would not stop talking to me about ger life. Then we got to the musam it was really boring and then we had the flight back and the person behind me was kicking fhe seat snd i was in between 2 babys who barfed on me while lafayette was still in first class.

John introduced me to all 71938 of his turtles as our date and then he quizzed me on them and wouldn't let me leave until I could name them all in alphabetical order, age order, size order, and favorite order foreward and backward.

James was sick for our date so we spent it in his dorm and he infected me wirh his disease on purpose and had me take care or him.

For crutchuys date the sAme thing happened as jacks date accept we went to a restrant but they had only gotten a reservaton for 2 people so I had to sit in a high chair and then they forgot to order for me so I ate what they didn't eat from their dinners which was fish so it was canibalisim so I didn't eat it. Then on the way out a baby barfed on me.

Hercules took me clothes shopping but I couldn't wear any of it with my tail so he was buying clother and asking for my advice but obviously he wasn't listening to it because he did the opposite of whatever I said. I told him not to buy those neon green and purple platform shoes but he did and I also told him not to buy the prom dress and he did and also lots of other things.

Specs had lost his glasses so we wandered around and he kept telling me that we were going to the date but he couldn't seem to find it without his glasses so we were just wandering for a while. Then we wandered in front of a moving car and he didn't get hit but I did and no one noticed they just kept running over me and specs didnt see that I was gone so he kept walking. I had to stay in the hopital again for that.

Then it was time for races date! His date was the best over all because he took me horse back riding even thiugh i cant ride a horse with my tail he tried and every time I got on the horse I fell of within 5 seconds and race kept makeing me get back on the horse so I would fall again and again. He can also speak horse which Is so cute! One of the horses barfed on me but it was ok because I was with race! One time after i fell off he said something to the horse in horse language and it stepped on me! I had to go to the hopital and I asked race what he had said to the horse and he told me that he told the horse to step on me! That's so funny! And now I'm in the hopital!

So basicly what happened during the dates was i got in the hopital 4 times and barfed on 5 times and the best date was the one where I got in the hopital and barfed on because it was with race!

Later I had to choose some one to eleminato but it was a really hard choice. I chose to get rid of spot because I don't like him and I don't want race hanging out with his friends instead of me.

 **an: I'm sorry I don't hate the little mermaid or ariel I just needed her to be a bad charachter for this story so I don't mean to hate on her!**


	46. Chapter 46

**an: if you've read this far into my fic thank you I know I am hard to understand and my writing is probably horrible and people probably stop reading after the first chapter but if your one of the few people who actually enjoy tthis fic then thank you so much**

Lafayette pov

I saw peggys snapchT story before it was taken down and I KNEW IT race and spot!

Spot and race sitting in a tre g. First comes love than comes marrage then comes a baby in a baby carrage!

I will help get then together no matter what happens.

John also saw the video and he has decided to help to.

We went to find maria and peggy while spot and race are distract with going on dates with ariel.

"Hey guys we saw peggy sanp chat story" I said immigrantly.

We all started talkingg about how much we ship them together so much. And then peggy showed us her pictures of the 2 of them together and maria showed us her fan fiction and jack came and showed us his fan art. I was kind of jelous of there fan fiction club and how I wasn't invited but oh well.

We figured out a plan that would be the third try but third times a charm as people say.

The only plan we hadn't tried yet that we could think of was play truth or dare and dare them to kiss eachother so that's what we did. If only peggy had gotten the chance to save that video of race… We all got in a bug circle in the common room but not that many pieolle were there so we had the common room to ourselves. Spot nad race were already in there so we went and sat down with them.

"Hey guys lets play truth or dare" peggy said casually.

"No truth or dare is stupid" spot said hatingly.

"Please" peggy begged shippingly.

"Fine… peggy truth or dare" spot said annoyedly.

"Truth" peggy said.

"Do you-" spot started saying.

"Yes. My turn! Spot truth or dare?" Peggy said cuttinghimoffly.

"I didn't finish" spot said confusedly.

"I don't care just choose" peggy said beggingly.

"Fine dare" spot said reallyannoyedly.

"I dare you to…" peggy pertended to be thinking convincingly but she already knew what she was going to say "kiss race!"

"Ew no" spot said but peggy had already told us he had confessed to loving race so he was obviously lying.

"Do it" we all started chanting.

"No" spot said surely.

"Fine! Race truth or dare" peggy said switchingly.

Race started to say truth but peggy cut him off. "I dare tou to kiss spot!" She said excitedly.

"No" race said annoyedly.

"Why do you keep trying to get us to kiss eachotger" spot asked pertendingtobestraightly.

"We're not…" I lied unconvincingly.

"Yes you are. We are not going to kiss eachother because we don't even like eachother so stop" spot said untruely and then they both walked away.

"Well that didn't work" john said obviously.

"Oh really?" Jack said sarcasticly.

"I think they hate us now" maria saud sadly.

"How will we get them together now" I said depressedly.

"I don't kneo" peggy said angstily.

We decided to wit untill they actually liked us again. Then we can come up with a new plann.

 **an: that chapter was kind of short I'm sorry**


	47. Chapter 47

**an: does anyone actually like this story**

Albert pov

Oof I can't believe thaat i am still in this stupid bachelorette thing I tried to take ariel in the worst date i coupd think off. Maybe I need to step it up with the bad dates.

All of us that are left are going to a room where they will tell us how we will torture ariel next oh sorry I meant what date or whatever.

"Alright everyone here's the next thing you will have to do!" Ritah skeetah asked originally. "There is a soccer game coming up and you all will tske ariel to the game"

OH RIGHT I forgot about that. Wow I am turning into finch. I'm on the soccer team and coach snappy told us lots of times that we had a game today. Oh well that means I might have tome to avoid ariel! We still have not gotten around to playing soccer during our soccer rehersals we just have to rhn a lot of laps which really sucks for cutchie. And we have rehersals 3 tones every week but it takes a very long time to run so at every rehersal we usually miss most of the classes the next day because we will still be running from the rehersal the night before. And snope has a tazer that he uses if we claspe from exahstion which happens a lot.

"Yeahhh rhat means since I'm on the soccer team I can avoid you ariel" race said to ariel celebrationly.

"Awww i love you race!" Ariel Said sincerely. Wow she doesn't kmow rhat race doesn't like her.

Now it's time to change for the soccer gsmd! I rollerskated down the stairs politicaly.

When we got out of the changing room I saw race passing out candy. "What's that" I asked scarcely.

"Its puking pastries that were all going to take and barf on ariel at the same time" race said prankily.

"GIVE ME ONE" I said wantingly.

"When I say the code word which is sharknado we will all barf on her" race said finnily.

Ariel came in a few minutes later mermaidly and she wheelwd ger couch right up next to racecar and started talking to him but he wouldn't say anything besides 1 word answers and nodding his head boredly.

Then race had enought of talking to ariel and he stood up and yelled "SHARKNADO" as loud as we could.

We all took the drugs and barfed on her! It was so funny. Ariel was really mad her face waas red or i think it is under the barf and there's smoke coming from her ears. "WHICH ONE OF YOU PLANNED THIS" ariel said enragedly.

"Race" I said laughingly.

Ariel said ragegonely "oh isn't he so funny? That was a good one race!"

"Oh yeah ok" race said annoyedly.

Now it is time to play the soccer game agaist another wizard school. The cheerleading team which is eliza and spot were cheering cheerfully and they were both wearing the cheerleaders uniform even spot cheerfully which is a very short skirt.

This time we actually knew that we were playing soccer and we didn't think we were playing football so we were ready. But we would be even more ready if we had actually practiced coccer before this game but. Oh well.

We ended up losing because we are not good at soccer from not practicing ever. And from having someone with a crutch on our team (not that I blame crytchi its not his fault) But of course the only thing we do in practices is run forever and snape always tells us that we will get to soccer after we finish running. But we never doo. Maybe if he didn't give is so many laps. But. I'm definitely not mad at all. Nope not salty at all. I thought saltily.

Ariel had gotten pushed on the soccer feild myltiple times by various people. Mostly race but she forgave him every time of course. Ariel was basicly sitting on top of race and he kept asking he rto get off but she wouldn't. She also tried to kiss him many times but he wouldn't let her. I would really hate to be race right now

Now it is time to eliminte one of us who ariel will choose. She chose james probably so she doesn't get infected with all of his diseases. Ughhhh that means I am stuck in this competition still although it's really a competition for who can take ariel on the worse dates. But why are we wven doung this ariel is a death eater? Shouldn't she be in alka seltzer ban?

 **an: i sort of forgot about the soccer tram so I had to fit it somewhere**


	48. Chapter 48

**an: i should just have ariel eliminate like 5 people at once so that the competition can go faster**

Katherine pov

Ccccceeeeeeeiiiiiiiiillllllllliiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg fffffffaaaaaannnnnn

Wait I think someon is talking to me. It's race for skme reason? But I still couldn't pay attention to him because I was looking at the ceilng fan.

"Race are you trying to talk to katherine" angelica said but I couldn't teally hear her because I was so focused in the cling fan.

"Yeah" he said. Horrifyingly

"Well she won't pay attention while she's looking at the celing fan" angelica said but I didn't hear any of that conversation because of the seiling dan. Angelica grabbed me appropriately and dragged me into a room with bo ceiling fab.

"Oh hey race" I said approximately and pulled a corton of milk out of my pocket. "Do you ant some mikl" I asked him platonicly.

"Ok but hiw long had that been in you're pocket" race said lactoseintolerantly.

"Only a few months" I said dairyly.

"Oh ok" race said and drank the milk gratefully.

"So what did you want to ask me" I shrieked willingly.

"Oh yeah l wanted to ask what do girls not like" race asked homosexually.

"Why" I asked milkly.

"Because ariel is in love with me but I'm not in love with her so I have to make her hate me but she won't" race yeilded righteously.

"Hmm… oh I know you can take her to the dump" I suggested happily.

"Oh good idea! Thanks katherine" I said gratefully.

"If you need any more bad date ideas I have some more" i said helpfully.

Later that day everyone who was. Contestant came up to me and asked for date ideas. I would feel bad if ariel wasn't a death eater and a stalker but in a creepy way not like spot. I know that she has a shrine to race ehich is really creepy.

I wished them good luxk on there dates but in a special way that we use. "No mourners" i said friendlyly.

"No funerals" they all said togetherly.

The episode came out the next day and I was excited to warch it with angelica to see how there dates went.

Or course race took ariel to the dump and pushed her into an incinerator painfully and she had to go to the hospital again where a baby barfed on her. Race also barfed on her because he was sick from eating spoiled milk. Hmm I wondsr where that spoiled mik came from?

Specs had lost his glasses agsin but halfway through the date race appeared from no where and gave him a pair of those giant sunglasses that peole wear as jokes. Then they stopped wandering around and they went to a fortune teller shop where the lady told ariel that she was going to die young and she was not going to marry race. Only I knew that specs had paid the lafy to say that. Ariel insulted the lady and called her a fraud.

Hercules took her to see the emoji movie but it was a really bad theatre and a kid barfed on ariel twice during the movie. Hercules pertended to go to the bathroom and didn't come back so ariel was stuck in the therte alone. Once the movie was over she called hercules and he said he would come pick her ip but he didn't for 7 hours and when he did he told ariel that she could drive even though she couldn't with her tail and she crashed the car but hercules had jumped out at the last minute. Ariel had to go to the hospital again.

Albert took ariel to his anti dab club meeting and made her join. Now the people in the club are albert, ariel, and 2 random first yearys that were too shy too say no.

Cruncher was making out with jack again and ariel yelled at him homophobically because she has had enouh of dealing with jacrutchie. Then critchuie took ariel joyriding in a barbie jeep but he had jack sitting next to him and they were holding hands lgbt+ly while he drived and ariel was shoved in the back but the thing was there was no back so she was just hanging on for dear life as cruchie drove and dragging her tail on the ground which really hurt.

James was sick again but ariel didn't know that so she was waiting at the restaurant where james said he would meet her for hours. It was so long that the waiters started betting on when she would leave and one waiter gave her free crab cakes to get her to stay longer. But ariel didn't want to eat the crab cakes because that owuld be canibalism.

John took ariel to an aquarium but they just ended up looking at turtles the whole time. Ariel was kind of offended because she didn't liek humans locking up sea animals. John quizzed her on his turtles again but she didn't really remember so basicly he just taught her over again and john threw her into the shark cage where she had to go to the hospital again.

Lafayette took her to the hair salon where he had to re dye his hair american flag colours and ariel was getting her hair done too. Ariel seemed to think that this was the first good date she gad been on but then the hair dressers shaved her head because lafayette had paid them to do it and make it look like an accident. It was so funny how ariel was freaking out me and angelica couldn't stop laughing and neither could lafayete. Ariel figured out he did it and got really mad at him!

Aaron was talking about his girlfiend and how much prettier she was then ariel and he took her to a fish store. Ariel looked likme she was about to cry because of all the dead fish and it didn't help that aaron bought the fish and set up a picnic for them with the fish. He would not stop talking about his girlfriend no matter how ariel tried to change the subject.

Davey took ariel to a snake cosplay party wheee he was the top half of the snake and she was the bottom half. She had his butt in her face the entire time and a lot of people stepped on her. Or since everyone was a snake they slithered on her and one people even barfed on her. Davey also told ariel lots of snake facts like that snakes can poop whenever they want. Apparently davey trained himself to be able to poop whenever he wants just like a snake.

"I don't beleive you" said ariel disbeleivingly.

"I'll prove it" davey said.

"Oh god no" I said to angelica notwatchingly. "Let me know when its over"

"It's over" angelica said.

I looked back up at the tv but IT WASNT OVER. "COME ON ANGELICA" I said madly. I think you can gyess what was happening on tv. But the thing was davey did it while he was in the snake costume with his butt in ariels face so it really sucked for her and they stayed like that for a while longer.

I started laughing really hard and so did angelica. That's what ariel gates for being a death eater whixh is basicaly the wizard version of racist which us feminists were very mad about.

Jack took crutchei with him on another date notattractedtoarielly. They went on a picnic but there was no room on the blanket for ariel so she had to sit on the pavement which was really hot. Then they got out puking partries and barfed on her and then a babie in a stroller came and barfed on her too. They had brought fish on there pic nick and they were doinng cute couple thibgs like feeding eachother food while ariel thirdwheeled.

Finch forgot about the date again and he had also forgotten how to say anything. besides "rawr XD" he said overandoveragainly. He tried having a normal conversation with her but all he could say was "rawr XD" apparently. They talked like that for hours and ariel was really bored.

Alex took ariel to a funeral where he told his entire life story overandoveragainly. He wouldn't even stop talking during the funeral part because he said he wished his mother and brother and cousin could have as nice a funeral as this one in the category. Eventuly someone realized that they didn't even know the person who the funeral was for and they chased them out with brooms. Alex got away but since ariel has a tail and couldn't escape very far she got beaten with lots of brooms which meant she had to go to the hopital again.

Thomas was last and he took her to the wright brothers museum in north carolina where it was like 200 degrees celsius and this guy kept going on and on about boring stuff. By the end ariel had sweat off half of her body wieght.

At the end ariel had to figure put who to elmate but it was hard because all the dates were horrible especially races. But she didn't pick race because she is love with him creepily. She picked lafayette because it was becose of him she had to wear a wig now but the wig doesn't stay on in the water where she lives.

"You came up with so many bad date ideas I'd like to see what a good date from you would be" angelica said flirtily.

I blushed. "Maybe you'll find out" I said flirtily.

Me and angelica have been flirting since the begining of the year but I cant. Tell if she actually likes me? I hope she does i thought lesbianly but she probably doesnt.

 **an: this chapter had both a six of crows reference and a friends reference so if you got both of those you are my new best friend I am replacing rose because she refuses to read six of crows no matter how much I try to black mail her because she doesn't seem to like books unless they get exciting on the first 10 pages (which is really stupid rose) but anyway. if any of you like six of crows tell her to read it because it is an amazing book**


	49. Chapter 49

**an: if any of you have been reading hunted you know that kathgelica is the best power couple**

Davey pov

I entered the common room right after the bachelorette episode had aired and everyone was down their. As soon as they saw me they all started clapping proudly.

"What are you clapping at me for" I asked snakily. "Did you know snakes can't clap? It's because they have no arms"

"Because you pooped on ariel on tv dude" race said jelously.

"I can onlg dream of haveing a date that bad" albert said jelously.

"Rawr XD" finch said rawrxdly. Oh yeah he had never remembered how to talk. Did you know that snakes can't talk either?

Everyone was clapping for me and congragulating me except john who still pertended he hated me. He just nodded at me. I somehow didn't get eliminated by ariel but I guess thats fine I can just poop on her again.

It's time for me to do everybodies homewrok because I am a nerd. If I wasn't a nerd I would probably be in snake house ughhhh I want to be in snake house so bad they get to wear all this snake stuff but I dont. I blame myself for being a nerd.

Now I have a howler from les which I get a lot. It was just him screaming for an entire minute very loudly.

Today is the day of dumbledores trial where he might get arrested for being voldemort but might not. I think he will get arrested because he's having fuinch be the lawyer again for some reason. I don't want him to be arrested because titah skeetah sucks (don't at me) just like peggy said. It's true. The whole school will be going to the trial.

Letsr that day we were at the trail and I was sitting next to finch. I really hoped he would temember how to talk sometime before he had to give his speech.

First the lawyer from the other side made a speech. It was a person who looked suspiciously like ritah skeetah but it couldn't be because this person had on a fake mustashe and was talking in a fake american accent.

"Howdy y'all" not ritah skeetah said. "I think ritah skeetah is the best headmaste to ever come to hogwash so she should stay. And I also think that I oh sorry I mean she is a fantastic reporter and you all should go read her articles. Also dumbledore put the entire shool under his mind control! How do you know that this man isn't voldemort right now! He could attack and kill us all! Also ritah skeetah does not suck" the person who I was starting to suspect was ritah skeetah said convincingly. The jury nodded approvingly. They all looked convinced.

Then it was finches turn unexpectedly. He got up and started fo give his speech forgettinghowtotalkly. "Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD Rawr XD"

"This kid makes an excellent case" one jury said conflictedly. The other jury nodded convincedly.

They took a very long time because both sides had a very good argument but they cane to a desision. "The jury finds dumbledore guilty of being voldemort" the jury said convictingly.

Oh no! I can't let this happen! "I object" I said standinguply.

"Why newspaper" the judge said inappropriately.

"Because I have reason to beleive that woman is ritah skeetah!" I said revealingly.

Everyone gasped amazedly.

"Whaaaaat?" Ritah skeetah in disguise said americanly.

"Take off that mustache!" I instructed dramaticly.

"This is attatched to my face" ritah skeetah said lyingly.

I walked up to her and pulled the mustake off and held it up to show everyone dramaticly. They all gasped courtroomdramaly.

"Oh my newspaper!" The judge said amazedly. "This changes everything! Does that mean ritah skeetahs articles aren't that good?"

"It does appear so" I said lawyerly. "What do you have to say for yourself ms skeetah?"

"IM SORRY" she sobbed cryingly. She burst into tears effortlessly. "I JUST LOVE BEING HEADMASTER PLEASE FORGIVE ME" she said wetly.

"Order!" Judge exclaimed strictly. Once everyone had settled doen anticipationly he said "now that we have new evidence that ritah skeetah sucks the jury needs to come to a new desision" the judge said explainingly. Ritah skeetah was still crying dramaticly.

The jury was finally ready with their new desirtion readily. "The jury had found that ritah skeetah…. sucks and that dumbledore will come back as headmaster once this year is over but it will have to be ritah skeetah even though she sucks for tge rest of the year. "

We all cheered and ritah skeetah sobbed even harder loudly. She had her makeup running all down her face. Everyone else was cheering because ritah skeetah sucks and dumbledore doesn't m.

"YOUVE RUINED MY LIFE" ritah skeetah sob screamed at me loudly. She was about to jump at me and attack me when she was held back by this huge dude.

"I'm sorry ma'am" he said empatheticly.

I smiled victoriously and walked away.

"YOUR EXPELLED" ritah skeetah screamed at me angerly. Oh no! I'm expelled! How do I fix this? Oh dumbledore will know what to do!

"Profesor ritah skeetah just expelled me!" I exclaimed scaredly.

"Well she sucks so next year when I'm headmaster again you are unexpelled but sadly for now she is headmaster so I guess you will have to live in the forbidden forest as a snake until next year" he said helpfully.

"Yay a snake!" I said slitherly. When i got back to school I packed up all my stuff but then I realized that snakes don't have stuff so I burned it all and I took all of my clothes off and burned that too and I ran to the firbidiin forest nakedly. I am a snake now hisssss

 **an: i was NOT planning to write half of these things when I first started this chapter but here we are i guess… I was planning on just having this be a filler chapter so I don't keep the same plot witht the bachelorette a bunch of chapters in a row but then I tried to make it more exciting and I got reallllly sidetracked so yeah. thats how that happened but I'm not changing it**


	50. Chapter 50

**an: look how far into this storie I've made it! Thank you so much for readingb this far even though it's a really long and bad stroy!**

Spot pov

This is getting bad. I need race to lose this competition so that I can love him gayly in peace. But of course race probably is in love with her straightly because he is straight and attracted to the opposite sex and heterosexual and likes girls and not gay so he will never like me. And by probably I mean definitely! But I wil sabotage there dates so that I can be races only stalker.

They are going on a fate today like right now. Race is waiting for ariel annoyedly and she is wheeling her self on her couch over to him. "Hello sweetie" she said lovingly. I felt like I wanted to barf when I heard her say that but I didn't have to because race did for me! Onto ariel! I almose laughed and gave away where I am but I'm surprised he hasn't found me since he's a particularly good finder. Oh well now I can sabotage there date!

I got in the back seat of the car and hid behind the seats so he wouldn't see ma. Ariel was sitting in the front seat next to race and she was staring at him. How dare she! That's my job! Especially while he's sleeping which i had caught her doing multiple times! At least I don't take pictures of him while he's asleep for my shrine! I fon't even have a shrine!

Ariel kept asking where they were going lovingly and race kept saying "shut up no one likes you" every time she asked. Oh no he's in love with her how did I not see this before!

They got out of the car and I looked around to see where race had taken ariel for their date. It was a mental hopital! I followed them inside hidingly.

"Hello I'd like to admit a paitent" race said to the horse behind the desk.

"Ok why" the person said.

"Because she thinks she's a mermaid, she's a stalker, dhe has a shrine to someone in her room, people keep barfing on her, shes a death eater, she won't leave me alone, she-"

"Ok ok fine well take her" the person said cutting race pff.

Something isn't adding up. Race,,, is taking the gurl… he's in love with…. and locking her up…. in a mental hopital,,, wait. Could that mean? He's not actually in love with her? "YES" I screamed out loud. Race heard me. He looked at me and I ran as fast as I could away and I got lost. I called race.

"Hey race I'm lost can you come find me" I said telephonely.

"Oh yeah sure where are you" he said cheerfully.

"Uhh… a street?" I said notknowingly.

"Oh ok I'll be there in a minute" race said psychology.

Before he found me there were 3 huge guys that came up to me with knives but since I'm definitely not short I'm not scared of them. They started stabbing me but I could of fought back since I'm definitely not short but I was too lazy and in pain.

Then race found me! He's such a good finder! "Hey guys stop" he said but they didn't listen. "GUYS" he yelled but they still didn't hear me. "MY WIFE WAS MURDERED BY A MAN IN A YELLOW SWEATER. It's the one case I can't solve." Race said detectively.

"Oh sorry man" the guys said.

"It's cool guys" race said forgivingly.

"Hahahahaha hey race. That was fun" I said dyingly. Things were getting darker and darker.

"Dude just STOP BLEEDING" race said panicly.

"Ok dude chill" I said halucinatingly.

He picked me up bridally and carried me back to hogwarts. "Here comes the bride" I sang crazily. "Will you marry me race"

"As long as yoy don't die sure" race said determinedly.

"Ok I won't" I said and then i died. Well passed out but same thing. Actually at some point I moght die but we'll see.

 **an: oh no! Have I killed spot? find out next…. TIME**


	51. Chapter 51

**an: now we can see what happened to spot! have I killed him? am I really that mean? We'll see**

Katherine pov

Lots more people came to me for date ideas and I cane up with some that I am really proud of and angelica helped. Race didn't have time to come up with a date idea because of spot…

Oh but wait he already took her on a date apparently according to this episode I'm watching right now. He took her to a mental hopital which I don't know how I didn't thibk of that! That is genius! I don't think he needs my help any more.

Then ariel had to wait like 2 weeks to get out of the mental hopital which is probably why there hasn't been one of these episodes in a while or any dates.

John took ariel to roba bank with him but he didn't actually take anything he just wanted the police to come. Then they did and he escaped and left ariel there so she had to spend 2 more weeeks in jail.

Hercules took ariel on a fishing trip because ariel would think thatzf canibalisim. Right after they left on there boat hercules told ariel that he gets seasick. Then he barfed on her 12 times the whole trip in a vomitrocious way.

Albert took her to ikea where he kept makeing bad puns of all the names of the funriture and he wouldn't stop when ariel told him to. Albert told ariel that he was getting her. A giant cinamin bun but she ended up being lost forever in ikea. Albert never came back.

Aaron took her to the place where he had his first date with his girlfriend apparently. Then he wouldn't stop talking about her and ariel got run over by a car and had to go to the hospital.

Davey is a snake nudist man living in the fobiden forest so he took her to meet his new snake friends but snakes can't talk so the only thing he said was "hisssss" but ariel doesn't speak sneke so she didn't inderstand. He also ended up biting her at one point.

Jack and crutchhey combined theire dates and they all went to snata fe together. They didn't get seats together on the airplaen so jack and crutchie were in first class and ariel was right next to a guy that got motion sick and barfed on her multiple times and the kid behind her kept kicking her seat. But no one knew that I had told jack to pay the people sitting next to her to make her miserable barftastically. They had lots of fun in sante fe except ariel didn't of course. Ariel had to stay in this really trashy motel and jacrutchie got a 5 star hotel. Ariels motel had no bed or bathroom and the only thing in the room was a bucket for you know what. And every time she tried to go outseide someone would barf on her and chase her back inside with a chainsaw.

Finch,,,, wait for it….. Forgot about the date again! WHat a surprise! He also forgot the date idea that I had given him apparently. He also had never remembered how to talk. He ended up taking her to the gas station, forgetting where they were, forgetting who ariel was, forgwtting why he was their, forgetting what a gas station was, and forgetting who he is. What a wonderful date.

Alex took ariel to watch paint dry. It was beige paint so it was very boring. Alex was talking about his life again and he wrote a poem for ariel.

 _Ariel_

 _Your name almost rymes with cereal_

 _But it doesn't_

 _Your hair is the color of red things_

 _You have a tail like a mermaid_

 _Because you are one_

 _If only my brother ws a mermaid then he could of survived the hurricanr that flooded my entire town and killed him when I lived in the corey cott_

 _You have a face_

Dude that poem was really interesting. I don't know why alex did yhat because girls like poems usually and he was trying to make it a bad date but you do you my friendo.

Thomas took ariel to see the spongbob musical. Angelica helped come up with that one so we high fived ojgsly.

Specs took ariel to see a movie called pirates band of misfits. It was a really bad and ariel lookex depressed the whole time but specs was fine with it because he was looking at his phone the whole time. Ariel also got barfed on by the kid next to her.

Ariel got to elimenate 2 people this time and she chose thomas (of course) and specs because they both took her to see things that were… interesting

Since there are 2 pople gone now that's less people we need to come up with date ideas for. Me and angelica both started thinkingof date ideas for next episode alresdy so we could be ready.

 **an: sorry spongbob movie fans…**


	52. Chapter 52

**an: I'm honestly referencing like everything at this point**

Jack pov

What a stupid prank. Thsi whole thing is a really stupid prank andI don't know why no one has admitted yet. Now i have to go meet some actors for this club where we ship the other actors charachters. But zI guess it's kinda fun.

As I walked up the stairs moved which was a really stupid part of the prank because like that can easily be done without "magic" but oh well I won't give in.

I got to the library filled with books on fake thinfs like magical creatures and unicorns and quarkbeasts or whatever. Then I went and sat down with "peggy" and "maria" to have his club thing.

"Ok guys here's the thing" peggy started saying importantly. She paused dramaticly. "Kathgelica"

"OH MY GOD YES" marie said shippingly.

This is all a prank but I might as well go along with it. "Oh yeah kathgelica I love it comrade" I said convincingly although now that I think about it I do kind of ship them. Or their characters.

"Ok we have to be careful about it because last time we got sprace to hate us" peggy said precautionately.

"Maybe we should set off fireworks that say the word kathgelica" mirae suggested prankily.

"Perfect! Very subtle. They probably won't even know that anyone got involved at all" peggy said nonsarcastically.

"Great let's go get fireworks" I said notfallingfortheprankly.

We got fireworks and we set them up to go off outside of the garbage house dorm window. Peggy went to make sure rhey were in the common room and then she came back and told us to set them off. They were "magical" firewords so they havethese moving pictures that are probably just projections. I dont see a projecter anywhere though for some reason. The fireworks said the words kathgelica and there was a picture of a blonfish

I don't think this os really the most subtle approach but oh well we can do whatever we want when it's all a prank. Once the fireworks were done we went up to the garbage dorm.

"Hey guys did you see that… fireworks out side?" Peggy asked suspiciously.

"No" angelica said truthfully. "We're too busy watching wonder woman"

"NEWSPAPER" peggy screamed failily.

"Watch you're language" angelica said sisterly.

"NEWSPAPER NEWSPAPER NEWSPAPER NEWSPAPER NEWSPAPER NEWSPAPER " peggy said inapropriatly.

They were all fighting but I didn't really feel like fighting since its all fake and I went to go find my bf sixofcrowsisthebestly.

"Whafs upp buter cup" I said to me bf cruunchily.

"Hey jacl" he sayd wondrefuelly.

"Wha are yoo doing" I askered fansilly.

"I'm studing for the potons test twomorow." My bf kruchtie aiad smartlly.

"Well I'm no gonnae studie becuse this is all a prank sidekick. I said disbileivingally.

Crutchey knoes that i say it all a pranky but he dosen't juge me for it like everone else does. He just say "haha ok whateber jackaroni"

 **an: i think rose stoped editting after I use the word sixofcrowsisthebestly but it was wroth it becuse it's true and I'm still saltine she won't read it**


	53. Chapter 53

**an: hello darkness my old friend**

Ariel pov

Race is my one true love and I lobe him so much straightly. Why am I even in this competition if me and race are in love and these other guys don't stand a chance. And obviously me and race ar egoing to get married inlovely.

This episode I get to elimenstrate everybody but 3 people and the next episode I will elimorning 2 more pekple and then I can have my wedding with race! In just 2 episodes! I only have to deal with thesse newspapers for 2 more episodes!

Ralph took me to macdonalds to get 500 nuggets 7000 fries exactly and 6 diet extra large pepsis with 20 ice cubes each. We ate it in 23 minutes 4 seconds 97 millisecons and 1 billliseco d. We barfed a lot and I had to go to the hopital because I barfed so much and he also barfed on me and I barfed on myself lots of times.

Hercules took me swimming in a tar lake and he was wearing a big rubber full body suit and I was wearing nothing but my mermaid stuff so I got a lot of tar all over me and he didn't. My wig also got caught in the tar so I had to go bald. And I also ended up drowning in the tar so I had to go to the hopital again because I had tar in my lungs. Hercules was completely fine and now that I think about it he didn't do much swimming.

Albert took me to this donit place called donutz on a stick with really bad donuts that were soooooo dry. They were so bad donuts I can't deal with how bad they are ughhh. I can't tell you too amny times now bad they were. Thry were just really bad man.

Jack and crutchiey took me to this meeting of a club they had just formed it was the lgbt+ club. Everyone there thought I was gay but I'm not I'm in love with race. I just had to sit in the back while the meeting went on. It was really boring and uncomforble

John wrote me a 3 hour spoken word jazz opers and it was really bad. The lirics were really bad and he kept rhiming things with my name thaf don't actually rhime. Like ariel and burial whitch was kind of depressing. It was so boring

Alex took me on a strooll theough a forest and he told me about his past for 97 hours. There was also a forest fire going on during all that time and I got badly burnet and had to go to the hopital again for even longer.

Davye took me to mret his nudist snake friends which was really awkward because they were all maked. And then he tried to make me join but I can't really bacause of my tail so I can't slither on the ground. Also I'm not that wierd. Unlike davey who is really weirding me out help

Aarom took me outside during a thunderstorm holding a lighting rod. I got eceltructed and had to go to the hopital agsin just like most of my dates. He was also compareing me to his girlfriesn again which did not make me feel the best but I guess I will elimate him.

Fincch….. you'll never guess….. forgot about the date! He took me to the great hall to have lunch together and then he forgot I was there and say with his friends and then he forgot he was sitting with his friends (keep in mind he still doen't rememember how to say anything accept rawr xD) and came and sat with me and then he forgot he was eating anything and barfed on me and then he forgot where he was so he left.

Races date was the best,... I love him so much! First he took me to a tatoo parlor and he told me he would hoose a tatoo for me! I got it tatood on my fourhead and I'm so excited to see it! He had them give me 3 tatoos for some reason but I guess he just couldn't choose. There was one on my fourhead and one on each of my cheeks. It kind of really hurts but that's ok. I will suffer through it for my racey poo. It's finally over and my face hurts so bad but I can finally see what he did. The one on my fourhead is the poop emoji from the emoji movie which I rocognized becuse I saw it with hercules and I hated it. But I guess if race likes it then I do too! and on one cheek it said "nuber 1 jake pauler" and it was mispelled exactly like that! How did race know that I love jack paul! And on the other cheek it said "pround member of the logang" which was also mispelled but race knows I like logan paul too! He know me so well! That's why I want him to marry me.

After the tatoos we went out for a walk where everyone was admiring my tatoos. Oh wait I think maybe peiple don't like them? They keep throwing eggs at me and making fun of them. Some people even barfed kn me. Race was laughing the whole time but of course he wasn't laughing at me! Why would he do that? He's laughing WITH me. I started laughing too. It was kind of fake laughter though because I don't like having eggs thrown at me or beig barfed on. But it's ok because race is with me. Oh wait no he's not! I'm lost in the city alone and all race left was a note. It said "elaminate me tonight or more tatoos" hahaha race is so funny! I know he would never threaten me. Why wpuld I elaminate him? We are IN LOVE. Although I kinda don't want any mote tatoos but I will do anythong he says without argueing. Thats how much I love him. I just wish race wouldn't leave me in this place alone. He's probably hanging out with his FRIENDS. I hate when he hangs out with his friends. Oh well it will all change when we're married!

It took me 7 hours to find my way out of the city and back to hogwarts and by then it was time for me to choose who to elaminate

I elimonate everyone accept race (of course), Hercules, and john. They have taken me on the least bad dates so far. I blew a kiss to race. I'm so excited for our wedding I only need to survive 3 more dates but one of them is with race!

 **an: that chapter took me a very long time to weite**


	54. Chapter 54

**an: hello**

Race povv

Dude. She didn't elominate me? I literally threatened her. I have to think of the worst dates yet. And I have to hope that hercules and jokn take her on good dates so maybe I should sabotage there dates so that their good! That's a good idea I'll do that. I'll go find john but since I'm a preticularly good finder it won't be hard.

I turned the halleay corner and saw john with ariel. "Where are you taking me" ariel asked depressedly.

"We're going rock climbing" johm said boredly.

"But I can't do that I'm a mermaid" ariel said mermaidly.

"I know you can't but we're going anyway" john said.

I followd them to the rock climbing place and hid behind a plant. John immediatly started climbing and left ariel but it would be really hard for her because he was taking her without a harness so she would have to drag herself up. I had an idea. I need some polyjuice potion I need to find some. I looked around and I opened a locker and it had the potion in it! I'm a particularly good finder

I took the potion to disguys me as a employee and I went up to ariel and gave her a harness so she could actuelly climb. Maybe she will now have fun at this date.

She does look like she has fun here. But then when john realized she had a harness he took scissors out of his pocket and started cutting it! She fell and I caught her and told her there was a problem with the harness. John came down and asked if ariel was ok as if he didn't cut the harness off. Then he said he would get ariel some food. He left and came back and was about to give her a plate of seafood when I switched it for a plate of french fries.

A kid was about to barf on ariel so I pushed him out of the way so she didn't get barfed on.

They were about to leave andariel looked happy and I was changing back from the polyjuice potion so good timing. Later is her date with hercules so I'll go find him. Since I'm a particularly good finder

He was in the common room getting ready. Then I saw alex and got an idea for him to write ariel a poem so i could have hercules give it to ariel. Girls like poems.

"Hey alex…. can you write me a love poem" I asked verbally.

"Oh yeah sure give me a sec this reminds me of the time I wrote a peom for my mom but that was before she died from a disease that I also had but didn't die for some reason and I had to move in with my cousin because my dad had abanonded us at that point but then my cousin killed himself probably because he didn't like me and I moved in with my brother but then he died along with basicly the rest of my town in a hurricane destructively and all of my writing supplies were destiyed so I couldn't write any more poems even thouvh I couldn't read them because I couldn't read and I still sort of can't well i can but I'm really bad at it but I'm learning and my dad used to make fun of me for nit being able to read before ge abonded us and so did all of the people in my town and they also made fun of me because my parents weren't married when they had me as a bebe but then my dad didn't like me enough that he aboned us and then my mom died when I didn't and my cousin comitted suicide and my brother and all of my friends and neigbors died in the hurricane and so did all of my belongings and then I hitch hiked on a boat where they found me and beat me up and then I had to sneak on another boat from the one I was beat up on and they also found me and took me back to the candy land and I hitch hiked again and they found me too so I guess I'm really bad at hitch hiking along with reading and having family that's not dead so they pushed me off tge boat and I had to swim 11 miles to shore and when I got there I had nothing so I begged for the cash and food and when I had enogh of the cash I bought new writing stuff that I used to write more poems which included love poems and I sold poems to get more the cash unlike the coreybon where I had no the cash because I had no parents or other family members who had jobs because my dad aboneded us when I was very young and my mom died from the disease that we had no the cash to treat and my cousin killed himself suicidally and my brother died too from the hirricane that destroy my entire town and I had to get a job at this trading place for people who had the cash unlike me and it made very little of the cash which is why I had to come to new yourk because that's a place where I can actually make the cash even though I didn't even make that much of the cash because I only wrote poems and begged but I couldn't read the poems to edit them so not many people bought them but I still made more of the cash then I did in the corebody at the trading place so I kept writing poems like the one I'm writing right now. Here's your poem"

"Thanks alex" I thanked thankfully with thanks. As I walked away I read the poem and I jnew ariel would love it. I signed hercules name at the bottom.

 _You are beautiful like a flower_

 _You have eyes that look shiny from the water in your body not because there beautiful_

 _Your hair is styled in a way that society considers is beautiful_

 _Your face exists in a good way_

 _I am attracted to you in a way that is considered love_

It's perfect. Ariel will love it I'll leave it for her with some flowers when she comes for the date. Which she is coming for right now.

I put it at the table nearest to the entrence and she saw it and read it. When she was done she smiled happily.

Hercules came down and they left. He was taking her to his potions class. Oh no that's a horrible date how am I going to unruin it. I know I will give her a potion to make her enjoy it. She decided to stop at starbucks before potions class and crutchey works there so I can convince him to put the potion in her drink. I just need to find it… I looked around and I knew where to find some because im a particularly good finder. "Hey eliza open your mouth thanks" I asked her nicely.

"Uh ok" she said. There was a bottle in her mouth and it was the potion!

"Thanks eliza" I said originally. "Crutchie can you do me a favour and put this in ariels drink" I said pleasely and handed him the bottle.

"Oh yeah sure anything that has to do with ariel" crutchu said crutchily. And poured the potion into the drink.

My work is done I can go to potions class now.

Once potions class was over I was glad to be done with dealing with ariel until my date which I need to think of an idea for. Wait when is my date…. OH NEWSPAPER ITS RIGHT NOW. I got so caught up with everyone elses dates that I forgot about my own. This date is really important it can be the difference between single and married. I need to do a good job.

"Hey race!" Ariel said lovingly.

"Ew…. ariel" I said hatingly.

"I loved that poem you gave me earlier and I also loved how you signed hercules name so you could be modest! That. Was so nice of you" she said lovingly.

"What poem? I didn't write that poem" I said truthfully.

"I know you wrote it because we love eachother and me and hercules don't. But it's ok that you won't admit it" ariel said lovingly. "So where are we going"

"Uhhh…. it's a surprise" I said hatingly.

We wandered around for a few second because I didn't know where to go but then I had an amazing idea. I went upstairs to the room of requirement which I had found before. Since I'm a praticularly good finder

I need to take ariel on the worst date ever I thought needingly. The door opened and I looked inside. Oh my newspaper this is perfect.

"Alright come inside ariel" I said excitedly.

Her jaw dripped from how bad the date was but then she smiled to cover it because I knew she would at least pretend to enjoy it. Thank you room of requirement I thought baddately. I lead her to the couch where we started the worst and most boring date ever. Watching golf.

It was sooooo boring I left the room for most of it and told ariel I would be right back. When I came back to the room I noticed a tatoo gun in the corner. I picked it up and told ariel I was giving her another tatoo but I didn't really know how to use it and when I figured out how to use it I was really bad at it so I had to start over on the tatoo a lot of times on a different part of her skin. Soon every centimeter of her skin was covered in tatoo scribbles. It looked really bad.

Now that watching golf is over it's time to see who ariel is marrying… I'm so scared. I really hope I'm not it. We got in the room and ariel was sitting on her couch in the middle. John and hercules started laughing when they saw her tatoos.

"Was that you" john asked.

"Yeah" I said laughingly.

It took a long time for us to stop laughing enough to be able to start.

"Alright ariel go ahead and reveal who the winner is" ritah skeetah aaid suspensefully.

"Alright… RACE WILL YOU MARRY ME" ariel said excitedly.

"Am I allowwd to say no" I asked hopefully.

"No you signed this contract. It says that the only way to get out of marrying ariel is either dying or if ariel syas she doesn't want to marry you" ritah skeetah said suckingly.

Everyone left accept I stayed behind to see if ariel would just not marry me. "Hey ariel can you do me a flavor" race asked hopefully.

"What is it thunder chunks" areil asked underthesealy.

"Ok actually 2 favors. 1 is never call me that again" I said.

"Ok shmoopie" areil said heterosexuallly.

"Don't call me that either. And the second favor was can you not marry me" I asked pleasely.

"Why would I do that snuggluffagus? We are in love. The only reason I can think of why we wouldn't get married is if you were in love with someone else which I know your not" areil said grossly.

"Well… what if I am" I said spotconlonly.

"I know your not" ariel said laughingly.

"I am though" I said.

"i Don't beleive you. I'll see you tomorrow

for our wedding honey bunches of oats" and ariel left.

Great… now I have to convince areil to let me not marry her by confessing my love for spot but also not having him find out? But I also can't marry ariel? Ughhhh do i confess? Do I not confess? Is there another way out of this? Ahhhh help. I'm sooo gay. And I'm really in love with spot but he's like probably definately straight and he would hate me if he found out how gay I am for him... UGHHHHH what do I do. I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot I love spot and I don't even like ariel because I'm so gay. And I never will? Like even if I was straight (which I'm definately not) I wouldn't even like her because she's a death eater and a stalker and she won't take no for an answer so she won't stop trying to kiss me or anything heterosexually. But what do I do this is so hard.

 **an: oh no! Will race marry ariel? Find out next time! Also I really like writing the alex poems so I think I will write more**


	55. Chapter 55

**an: what has happened to this story anyone who might skip straight to this chapter would have no idea what's going on**

Peggy pov

Nooooo why do race and ariel have to get married. I had so many plans to try and get sprace together. This is the worst day of my life.

"Hey peggy What's wrong?" Someone said. It was my apparent sister?

"Nothings wrong…. uhh… alyssa" I said smoothly.

"Did ypu just call me alyssa" sister person asked.

"Of course not… amanda" I said.

"Why are you pretending to have forgotten my name" she said lovingly.

"Oh no… you caught me…" I said fakely.

"Well anyway what are you sad about" suster person said.

"Sprace" I said confessionly.

"Ah… poor race has to marry ariel" she said sympatheticly.

"Yeah he should be marrying spot" I said complainingly.

"I have to go but I'll see you at the wedding later today" she said friendlyly and then she left.

Ugh I need to stop forgetting her name. Lisa? Elise? Alina? Francis? Who knows oh wait angelica does. I should ask her but very subtlely. I was about to go to the garbage table where angelica was sittling but then race came and sat down next to me.

"I need you're help" race said queenly.

"I will help you if you do me a favor" I said politely.

"Oh yeah sure what" race said wonderingly.

"Can you tell me what my susters name is" I asked subtlely.

"Uh… angelica?" Race said confusedly.

"No the other one" I said.

"Eliza?" He said normally.

"Thats the one! Now what was that thing you wanted to ask" I said changingthesubjectly.

"Did you forget you're sisters name?" Race asked suspiciously.

"No… of course not" I said yesly.

"Uhh… ok?" Race said disbeleivingly. "But I need advice"

"That's lit" I said dabaliciously.

"Ok so basicly ariel told me that the only way she would agree to not marry me is if I was in love with someone else" he said embarassedly.

"Omg but you're" I said omgly.

"Yes But I don't want to confess" race said quitely.

"Yes but you also don't want to marry ariel" I said heroicly.

"Yes but I also don't want to confess" he said uncheerfully.

"Ok fine then marry ariel" I said annoyedly.

"Ugh… I'll just decide on my own" race said leavingly.

Race went to get ready for the wedding and I saw him right before the wedding started. "Did you decide yet" I asked hopefully.

"No" he said nervously.

"Come on just do it" I said bridally.

"But I don't want to. Maybe I can convince areil tp get a divorce at some point" race said cowardly.

"If you marry ariel then you'll regret it" I said psychically.

"But if I confess then I'll also regret it" race said argumently.

"Ok listen race" I said and I looked around to see if anyone was listening and then I leaned in closer and said quietly "I know for a fact that spot is in love with you"

Race looked very surprised for a second but then he didn't he started to look very mad. "No he's not don't lie to me. Just because you don't want me to do this doesn't mean you can start saying these lies. Just leave peggy" he said angerly.

"But" I started saying defensively.

"Go" race said firmly.

I looked at him sadly and walked into the weddjng place which was set up next to the black lake. Pretty soon after I sat down the wedding started…

 **an: cliff hanger! What will happen to race? What will happen to arie? What will happen to spot? Is race and peggy friendship ruined? Who knows? Well I do but I won't spoil it and there is also a good chance that I might change my mind in the middle of writing which is a thing I do a lot for example that's how we got davey as a nudist snake man**


	56. Chapter 56

**an: oh no! What will happen? Also homestly how do weddings go google can only teach me so much. ALSO I finally got rose to write a fic and it's sooooo good! She put it on my account so she didn't have to get one and it's called the boy from brooklyn so all of you should go read it right now. It's so much better then my writing. It's sooooo good please read it because she thinks it's bad so tell her how good it is.**

Sppt pov

This wedding SUCKS. Just like ritah skeetah don't at me. But this is so much worst i have to watch the guy I'm in love with get married to someone else straightly but he doesn't even want to marry that person.

Peggy came in and sat next to me sadly. "What's wrong peggy" I asked concernedly.

"Uhh… let's just say I found a way for race out of this wedding but he wouldn't do it and while I was trying to convince him to do it I told him something and he didn't beleive me and he hates me now for lying" peggy said complicatedly.

"You found a way out of the wedding? Is he going to do it?" I asked hopefully.

"I don't think so" peggy said sadly. "Manz.. you should be the one marrying race not ariel"

"Shut up he doesn't even like me" I said toughly. Peggy gave me this look that I think meant omg seriously but that's probably wrong because he doesn't like me confirmed.

The wedding started amd race walked in. When he saw me and peggy he galered at peggy angerly.

"My manz what did you even say to him" I whispered topeggyly.

"Uhh… I'll tell you later… maybe" she said randomly.

Ew I hate this so much. Ariel has all her fish friends being bridesmaids and groomsmen because she forced race to have them as her groomsmen. They all had these spinny chairs and they were wheeling themselves down the isle. She also had this orchestra lead by this crab with a jamacan accent and it's really wierd. Then came the flower girl who was ariels father king triton. I was really confused because I tjought he had to walk ariel down the isle? But then when he was done he wheeled really fast back around the chairs so he could walk ariel down the isle. She came out with her fater and I noticed that she was covered in tatoos. That must have been race. I started laughing quietly and I looked at race and he was laughing too but also looking really conflicted. I guess he was deciding if he should do the thing that peggy suggested to stop the wedding. I hope he does do it I don't want him marrying that newspaper. It can't be that bad that it's worse then marrying ariel.

The officeant came over. It was ritah skeetah! Wow what a coinsidince I was just thinking earlier about how she suckssssss.

Since I was in the front row i heard race and ariel talking quietly. "You know most grooms usually tell there brides how beautiful they look in there wedding dresses" she said hintingly.

"Too bad you don't look beautiful" race said savagely. DANGGG he's such a savage. It's ok she deserves it shes a death eater and a stalker in a bad way unlike me.

"Haha your so funny race" ariel said genuinely.

I had an idea. I remembered I had a puking pastry in my pocket. I ate it and barfed all over ariels wedding dress. She glared at me angerly and then smiled back at race. Race smiled at me cutely omg he's so cute. Shut up spot he doesn't like you.

Rotah skeetah started to talk marriagely. "Hello everyone we are here today for ariel and races wedding! Isn't that very exciting? Now let me tell all of you about race and ariel. Their such a cute couple aren't they! They met at the bachelorette and it was love at first sight" race rolled his eyes. "Ariel knew instantly that he was who she wanted to marry and after months here we are. Now let's start this wedding because I bet they won't be able to wait much longer" race rolled his eyes again. He still looked very conflicted. I looked at him and I gave him a reassuring nod and mouthed the words do it to him hoping that he would understand. He looked freaked out for a second because he probably assumed that I knew whatever it was he had to do to get out of the wedding but then he realized what was happening and continued to look conflicted. I guess that didn't really help or at least it looks like it didn't. Maybe it did though I really hope he does whatever it is. What could be so bad to do that he freaks out like that if he thinks i know what it is? Does he have to like murder ariel or something? Omg what if he does.

"Ok now vows. Ariel can go first" ritah skeetah said oficially.

Ariel started saying some newspaper about how much she loved race but I didn't really want to listen because this is the guy I'm in live with we're talking about here. She talked like for at least an hour it was so boring. Like ariel we get it you love race. Finally she finished and now it's races turn.

"Ok here we go" he said conflictedly. "Um so ariel honestly I dont really like you and I don't want to marry you like at all but every time I bring this up to you you think i'm joking but I'm really not. See your doing it again. Your laughing right now and saying haha race your so funny! Well guess what I'm serious this time. And you still think I'm joking. Well I guess I'm stuck doing this because of a contract I don't even remember signing. I hate you ariel"

Ariel laughed and saud "haha your so funby race!" Ughhh can race just get on with doing whatever you need to do. I can't watch this anymore. He still looks very cery conflicted so obviously he hasn't decided yet.

"Ok cool. Now that wear done with that we can get on with the i do part. Ariel do you take race to be your husband and love him and comfort him and keep him and honor him in sickness and in health as ling as you both shall kive?" Ritah skeetah asked marriagely.

"I do" ariel said enthusiasticly.

"Ok cool then race do you take ariel to be your wife and love her and whatever else in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Ritah skeetah said excitedly.

"I uhh…" race said decidingly. He looked very very conflicted for a second and then he decided… "I don't" he said mervously. Peggy started freaking out when he said that but like in a good way. She was really excited. I wasn't sure if I heard him right so peggy could be getting excited ober nothing.

"Sorry what was that race" ritah skeetah said confusedly.

"I don't" race said confidently. Omg he's doing it! But what exactly is he doing?

"But the contract said you couldn't not get married unless ariel said she didn't want to" ritah skeetah explainaed nervously.

"Yes but then ariel told me the only reason why she would not want to marry me" race siad confidently. Omg what is it? Stop with the dramatic pauses race and just get to it no one cares about the drama. Accept peggy apparently. I think she's having a heart attack should I call the hospital?

"Yes I know" ariel said suspiciously. "I said that I would agree to not marrying tou if you were in love with someone else"

"Yes and now I'm confessing my love for someone else" race said nervously. Peggy started shaking my arm excitedly. Ughh this sucks. Now I have to watch race confess his love for someone who isn't me. Then I'll have to come to there wedding which will also suck.

"Omg who" ritah dkeetah said interestedly.

Race paused dramaticly. Omg race just get on with it this isn't a newspapering soap opera. That was the longest few seconds of my life. It looked like he was about to not do it for a second but then he turned to the crowd. Come onnnn race. Why is this taking so long. I just want to get this over with so I can leave. And he's still pausing. Why race why. Just do it. It feels like it's been like a year already. I don't think he's gping to do it because it looks like he's going to back out now and get back to the wedding. Come on race even getting rejected is better then marrying areil. Come on race why must you do this to me. I want to know which person that's not me he loves. It's probably a gurl since he's so straight. Oh no wait it's definitely a girl because he's definitely straight. Why is this taking so long just do it race. Just get it over with and stop with all this drama. This is the worst moment of my life. My crush is about to confess his love for some girl and not me wowwww I'd rather be literally anywhere but here. Ohhh it looks like he's about to talk. Oh wait nevermind no he's not. Could he be taking any longer. Like come on race why must you do this. I didn't realize that you actually want to marry ariel race. If you really don't want to marry her than just do it. Just say her name and just get it over it. It's not that hard it's just one name. How long have you been pausing. This is ridiculous. I can't deal with this. I've aged 80 years just sitting here waiting for you to talk. Come. On. Oh! He's opening his mouth! It's about time. Anddddd… here he goes… he's saying the name now… wow I thought he'd forgotten how to talk! Here he goes now… in a moment… yes! He's done it! "Spot"

Woah wait that's my name did I miss something? What's he saying my name for? I think peggy is having a seizure. He's looking at me now. "Sorry what" I saod confusedly.

"I love you spot" race said embarassedly. Ritah skeetah had her mouth wide open suprisedly like she was watching a soap opera and it just had the biggest plot twist ever. I'm sure I looked like that too.

"Wait your serious?" I asked suspiciously.

"Uhh.. yeah sorry" race said veryembarassedly.

I think I'm the one having a heart attack now. Peggy was vidoe taping this entire thing. I was so shocked that I couldn't move for what felt like even longer then races dramatic pause. Race looked like he wanted to run away. Wow he really thought i would react badly. Of course I won't and I wanted to tell him that the only problem was that I couldn't move.

Peggy pushed me out of my seat and forced me to stand up. I think she's in tears now but like… happy tears. What are they called. Tears of joy.

Sudenly I can move now. "Race…" oops I accudentally used a dramatic pause. "I love you too" I said honestly.

"Wait seriously" race said surprisedly.

"Yes I am but Wait are you serious too" i asked scaredly.

"Yeah…" race said seriously.

"NO WAY" I said amazedly.

"Wait so.,. This whole time…" race siad signifigantly.

"I guess" I said carefully.

And then we kissed eachother. Ahhh I think I'm going to feint. Is this a dream what the newspaper. We sort of forgot everyone else was their and kept kissing eachother for a while. Then we remembered that everyone was their and we stopped.

No one talked for a whole. "Woah" ritah skeetah said amazedly after a while.

Ariel started laughing. "Your so funny race! Did you really think I would beleive that? Now come back so we can continue our widding" she said deatheaterly.

Come on how can ariel seriously think that this is all a joke? Its liek jack kelly thinking that magic is all a prank.

"Ok ariel you need to get it into your head that I don't actually like you" race said refusally. "Your a death ear and you won't leave me alone ever and your homophobic and you won't takeanything I have to say seriously. Why would I want to marry someone like that?"

Ariel stared at him for a second and I thought that she would actually let him nit marry her for a second. "Wow what a good joke! Now come on so we can continue our wedding" ariel said homophobically.

Race started walking toward her like he was about to fught her but I stopped him. As much as I would like to see that fight I had an idea for getting ariel to agree to not get married.

"Hey ariel… did you know that race is muggle born" I said curiously.

"WHAT? GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MuDBLOOD" ariel said racistly.

I turned around and walked back to the castle with race behind me. When we got back to the common room I turned to race. "Wait so seriously you actually like me" I asked suspiciously.

"Uh yeah…" he said embarassedly.

"Ok but like for real do you actually like me" I asked skepticly.

"Yes" he said surely.

"Ok but this isn't like all a prank or something" I said jackkellyly.

"No it's not a prank" he said annoyedly.

"Ok but are you sure that you actually like me like for sure" I asked cautiously.

"Shut up yes I am sure" he said veryannoyedly.

"Ok but-" I started saying but he cut me off by kissing me! That is the best way to cut someone off

Niceeeee so race is my bf now but I'm still not sure if he actually likes me? Is he prankibg me? Am I turning into jack kelly? But seriously does he actually like me for real?

 **an: woah what a long qhapter and I ended up not changing the idea for this chapter what a suprise and now that your done reading this GO READ ROSES FIC CALLED THE BOY FROM BROOKLYN PLEASE ITS SO GOOD**


	57. Chapter 57

**an: this story is getting really long so I think I'll make a seqal for second year and who knows I might get all the way to seven year**

Katherine pov

Wow I can't beleive this year is almost over. Today is the quodich finals where we will find out who will will the cup and it's also the soccer finals with ilvermorning against us. For the quidich final it's garbage house against hufflepuff. They aren't actually that good but they have race who is a particularly good finder but he's really bad at flying so he just doesn't fly to find the snitch which he always does really fast. Particularly good finder

Today me and angelica strategy is that I will do most of the scoring and agelica will stay near race so he doesn't get the snitch first. If we win we win the quofditch cup. Garbage is the best house so we might probably win but we also might probably lose who knows.

Now it's time for the game! Me and angelic did our secret handshake for luck and got ready to play. Our very own headmaster ritah skeetah was announciating. (Who sucks don't at me)

"Alright newspapers let play some QUADONCH" ritah skeetah said passionately. "This is my last quotient game since I won't be head master next year this is so sad but I will be writing a story for the daily prohet about my time as headmaster and it's gonna be amazing. Oh yeah go ahead and start the game"

The balls were released and I caught the quoffle immediotely. I went and threw it into the hoop easily. Then I caught it again and through it into rhe hoop again and again and again. It was kind of harder since angelica had to stay guarding race the whole time instead of helping me but it kind of worked. It made us pretty evenly matched.

The game only lasted like a minute and then someone caught the snitch. I still couldn't tell who it was because they were on the ground and I was high up. The score has been tied so far it was 30 to 30 which was a lot for a minute long game. I clew down to see who caught the snitch amazingly. It was… angelica! We won!

I high fived angelica originally and we did our hand shake too. Now we get to have a huge party in the dorm even though it's just the 2 of us celebrating. We can have a 2 person party. But we have to stop in time for soccer.

We made a stop at the kitchen first to get some food and see our best friends the house elves. "What's up my friendos" I said cheerfully.

"What up kat and angie" my manz dooby said greetingly. "Would you like some food"

"Hell yeah my manz" I said jackkellyly. "We just won the croissant cup"

"Yeahhh that's really lit" dobby said and dabbed. "I made you a blobfish cake because I'm just that cool and we're best friends" my best friend dobby said.

""OMG DOBBY YOUR SO COOL" I said excitedly.

"Yeah I am my manz" dobby said savagely.

I went to talk to my other house elf best friends. House elves are usually really really formal to everyone but since me and angelica are best friends with all the elves they talk to us like that. If you were wondering

"Here you go guys" donby said and we turned around and he was holding the really cool blobfish cake.

"Dobby that's so cool!" Angelica said cheerfully.

"Oh hold on guys I made you a cake too" one of our house elf best friends said competitively.

Apparently the house elves had made us all these lit cakes and they wanted us to judge which was best? They were all amazing. There was the blobfih one and there was the garbage house symbol thing whatever it's called and there was us playing quidich and there was wonder woman and much more.

"You guys didn't have to do this all for us" I said thankfully.

"Yeah but you guys are just really lit people unlike everyone else in this shool who never visit us at all" dobby said passiveaggressively.

"Well thank you for The cakes their all amazingg" angelica said amazedly.

"Do you guys want to party in the garbage dorm with us to celebrate our victory and eat all these cakes" I asked offeringly.

"YEAH" all of the elves screamed partyly. We went up to the dorm and we got weird looks because we were basicly leading a house elf army but we didn't care because we are strong independont women who won't let anyone judge us. This is capitalism

We spent a long time partying with the house elves legally and then it was time for soccer. We told the elves that we could finish our party later because we weren't even close tp done with the cakes. So later we will either be celebrating losing or winning soccer with the house elves. They for some reason want to bake more cakes whole we're gone which we dont really need sonce we have so many but you do you friendos.

We got to soccer and we got ready to plaay. We still haven't gotten around to playing soccer during rehearsals we just run forever I'm requesting a new coach next year. This is child labor

"Ok team so are we ready" I asked cheerfully.

"No" everyone responded.

"Well pretend you are and everything will work out. Fake it till you make it" I said wisely.

"Ok cool sounds good" said albert uncheerfully.

Our cheerleading team which includes eliza and spot were doing cheers cheerfully. We started the game. We were losing by a lot probably because we haven't played soccer since our last game which was months ago. But hey we could probably run for longer then anyone on the other team because thats apparently the only skill that matters in snapes mind for us to do.

We were tied with 30 seconds left on the timer and we had the ball. Crutchunk hit it in with his crutch and Gave me the ball. I passed it to race and he kicked it in the goal… here it goes… we're about to win… then suddenly the goalie from the other team came out of nowhere and hit the ball with theire head and it went all the way to the other side of the feild and to our goal and went in because our goalie wasn't paying attention but I don't blame him. Oh well we lost. Maybe if we actually practiced i thought snapeisevilly.

We went back to the school celebrationly because the soccer season is finally over so we don't have to run anymore. Me and angelica went to find the house elves to partay and when we got to the kithen there were hundreds of new cakes with literally anything you can think of on it.

"WOAH" I said amazedly.

"Now this is a party" angelica said graciously.

We all went to the garbage dorm to celebrate us winning and also losing today but mostly the winning part. And we ate lots of cake. Soon it was almost time for dinner.

"Hey it's time for dinner you guys should go back to the kit hen" I said helpfully

"OH NEWSPAPER WE FORGOT TO MAKE DINNER" dobb said finchly.

"Why don't you serve this cake for dinner" I offered helpfully.

"Ah yes. Very healthy. Let's do it" dobby said sarcasticly.

All of the house elves and humans picked up a few cakes and put them on the magic plates for dinner and then we had to make 4 more trips to get all the cakes from out of the garbage dorm.

We got to the great hall and everyone was waiting for food and soon the cake came. Everyone was very happy with that and there was even a food fight that started. Garbage house was winning the food fight of course. Then I had an idea and i had the entire great hall turn against ritah skeetah so we all hit her at once because she sucks don't at me.

Well that's 2 thing we won today and 1 that we lost now let's go watch wonder woman.

 **an: KATHGELICAAAAAA**


	58. Chapter 58

**an: We're so close to the end of this fic we've come a long way ALSO 1000 VIEWS YEAH only on though because pretty much no one likes it on wattpad aaand just as I was writing this authour note I thought of a huge plot twist omg let's do this**

Maria pov

Ughhhh sprace is so cute. I can't deal with this. We're going to fanfiction club to talk about this. This is our last meeting for the whole year so we're talking about all of our ships and reviewing all of peggys puctures and my fics and jacks fan art.

"Whas up my manz" I aksed friendlyly.

"Hey maira" peegy said frantically. She pulled out a bunch of photo albums one for each ship and jack pulled out stacks of fan art and I pulled out my phone for my fan fiction.

We started with sprace. Omg their so cute ahhh how do I deal with this. Then we looked at jacrutchie which jack got kind of embarassed about and he was asking peggy where she got all of her pictures. Next was jefmads. Even though we don't really like thomas they're stull so cute together. We have lots of pictures of thimas taking care of james when he's sick. That is couple goals. Then our last ship was kathgelica who we definitely need to set up at some point. Of course I also have lots of ships that I don't tell them about for exaple I don't know who I ship john with more davey or alex. And then there's also peggy and specs and lots more. Pretty much everyone in our year is not straight so idk

This is so sad it's our last meeting. We have to wait until next school year to have a club meeting again but of course we made plans to see each other over the summer and don't tell jack but me and peggy made plans to stalk him and crutchio shh

Now it's time for dinner ughhh I'm so sad why does it have to be ober. Oh well we're sitting together at dinner so basicly it's an extencion of our meeting.

Peggy started to get out her phone when she saw her ships sitting together. We were just watching jefmads sitting together when something wierd started to happen… thomas stood up and stood in front of the teachers table like he was about to say something. Snape and ariel both went amd stood next to him obidintly. Ariel seems to basically be a student here now for some reason even though she can't even do magic.

"Hello people of hogwarts I have something to tell you" thomas said announcerly. Everyone looked really confused and interested including the teachers because they didn't know what was happening either.

"Ok so here's the dealio. I have been prankibg all of you all year" thomas said smilingly.

"I KNEW IT" jack screamed loudly.

"Not that kind of prank jack. I'm talking about something else" thomas said juicily. He took a dramatic pause. What is with everyone and dramatic pauses these days. It's like we're in some kind of drama tv show or story or something. So weird. At least this dramatic pause wasn't as long as the one race took at his wedding which was really long.

"Do it snapple" thomas said casually. That's weird usually snape makes people call him proffessor and he takes house points if you dont. But snail didn't say anything he just got out his wand and did some spell on thomas. If I didn't know that this whole thing had thomas consent I would be very conserned that snape was trying to kill him because after snape did the spell thomas looked very in pain. But he didn't like scream or anything it just looked like his limbs were breaking and stuff but oh well. He's getting a lot paler too. Like a lot. Like he's changing skin tones completely. And he's also changing face shape and he's losing his hair and he's changing his height. He looks like a corpse I think snape did kill him. Oh wait now he's gettting back up. Oh my neWSPAPER THATS NOT THOMAS. THATS FREAKING VOLDEMORT. Wow that's the second time this year.

Jack started laughing really loudly for some reason.

"Hello guys" thomas I mean voldemort saud evilly.

"DUDE WHAT THE HECK" I screamed freakedoutly.

"Oh yeah I should probably explain" not thomas but voldemort said forgetfully. "But first let me do dis" he waved his wand and everyone in the good hall couldn't move but this time even jack couldn't move i guess it's not mind control this time. "Ok so this entire year I've actually been coldemort. Like the entire year. Like I kidnapped thomas at king cross station and I've been hiding him for an entire year. What a prank" he said speechly.

WAIT this is really messed up. This means all of the pictures we have of jefmads is actually voldemort. Now I'm glad we've never seen them kiss ewww that's gross just thinking about.

"Ok but your probably all wondering what was going on a few months ago. Well that wasn't actually me. That was a distraction so you wouldn't see me comig at the end of the year. That was actually snape in polyjuice potion and the snape you saw was actually ariel in polyjuice potion and the ariel you saw was actually ariel taking a break from the polyjuice potion which is why she wasn't their during the attack because she was actually pertending to be snape. And then snape had to take a polyjuice potion of me to pertend to change back from dumblebore. But it was kind of weird since I don't have any hair he had to use my nose hair. But that's kind of tmi sorry. No I'm joking I'm not sorry I'm evil. Haha it's so funny how all of you had no idea. Well accept for james he figured it out pretty quickly but I put him under the imperio curse. So in conclusion Thomas has been voldemort all year and james has been unser imperio all year. Thank you for coming to my ted talk."

Ok I'm so weirded out right now. Does that mean no one here has actually met thomas accept people who knew him in high school. What

"Oh yeah one thing I forgot" he added addingly "is why I'm here. I want all of you to join my death meaters. It would be great to have a child army and of course to take over hogwarts. So it would be great if all of you were ok with this because then I will have to put less people under the imperio curse. If you try to run away or anything I could torture of kill you it really depends on what mood I'm in we'll see. But it would be smart to dp what I say if you want to not die"

Ooooooof what do I do now. I don't really want to join voldemort because he's racist but it would be nice if I didn't die todya. Oh. Wait. Now I have an idea. Eliza is next to me and she hasn't had starbucks in a while… if I could just get voldy to unfroze us.

"Ok so to not have you all attack me at once I'll unfreeze you in groups and then if you want you can join me and if not I'll lock you in the dungeon and jill you later. It's you're choice.

He started bringing people over and I was surprided by the number of peoeoeplele who chose to not join voldemort.

Eliza is getting really twitchy and it looks like she really wants starbucks. "Hey eliza…" I whispered. It was really hard to move and it took all of my effort to talk. "Do you want starbucks" she started looking around for starbucks crazily. "That guy over their without the nose is the one stopping you from having starbucks" she looked at him murdurously and I knew that I have sucseeded. I waited for coldmort to bring us up. I kept eliza all insane like that by somethines whispering to her "starbucks" or something like that. Finally it was our turn to be brought to vildemort….

The second voldemort took off the freezing spell eliza screamed as loud as she could overandoveragainly "STARBUCKS" and she pulled lighters out of nowhere. She started burning everything in sight in voldemorts general direction. Voldemort looked so surprised you should of seen his face. When he got over his shock he pulled out his wand and was probably about to kill her when she burned his wand. Everyone in the great hell became unfrozen. They were all laughing at voldemort.

"ENOUGH" he screamed ordinarily and he grabbed eliza and held her still. "None of you try anything or I will KILL HER" he said rudely. How rude of him. Who does that. That is impolite to theeaten to kill someone. Did his parents ever teach him his manners. Rude. I can't believe there's anyone in the world who thinks it's polite to threaten murder. Wow

No one moved accept eliza who was still trying to burn voldemort and chanting starbucks. Oh nooooo our school is getting taken over by voldemort. I'm going to have to become a death eater just like my brother james. No thankssdss I'd rather take that death option. Just as I was accepting the fact that voldemort was about to kill me someone threw something at voldemort from behind him. I couldn't tell what it was or who threw it but I took the chance that vildemort was distracted and I punhed voldy in the nose. Oh wait he doesn't have a nose hahaha

I grabbed eliza from voldemort hands after I punched him and I realized the thing whoever it was was a cake. But the thing was the cake was in the shape of a nose omg that's so funny because he doesn't have one. I looked and it was an entire army of house elves who all had cakes that had things like noses and muggle things and dumbledore and other things that voldemort hated and they were all throwing them at voldemort.

The nearest house elf came up to me and said saviorly "sorry we're late we had to wait for our cakes to finish baking"

Dudeeee their first reaction when vildemort took over the school was to make cakes. Ok then I won't judge because they saved us from dieing so I guess its ok. Voldemort was running around and I grabbed some cakes to throw too. We chased him out of the school. I reached into the wagon where we had the cakes for another one when I realized we were out. Voldeomert smiled evilly.

"Ah your out of cakes now. That means there's no one else that can defeat me. Bow to me everyone" vildeomertt said dictatorly. Ok never mind I will have to be killed by voldemort.

Suddenly the school doors opened and eliza came out with a flamethrower. She started flamethrowing violently at voldemort. "STARBUCKS OR DEATH" she said starbucksly. Voldemort started running again.

"I WILL BE BACK" he said threateningly and then he flew away.

We all cheered and I gave each house elves high fives. Then I took eliza to starbucks.

"Oof what happened" eliza said hangoverly.

"You defeated voldemort" I said proudly.

"What" she said confusedly.

"Ok actually you had some help from the house elves but without you we would all be dead" I said truthfully.

"Oh ok cool" eliza said heroicly.

"Yeah he was lovking us all in the dungeons or forcing us to beone death leafers OH WAIT I FORGOT TO FREE THE PEOPLE IN THE DUNGEONS" I siaid runningawayly.

"Maria!" Peggy said excitedly.

"Hey guys" I said. A lot of people from my year were in their.

"Is voldemort gone" lafayette asked frenchly.

"Yeah eliza and the house elves defeated him" I said proudly.

"Yeahhh those house elves are amazing aren't they. And my sister too" angelica said amazedly.

Everyone came out of the cell and we decided to have a party in the great hall to celibrate eliza defeating voldemort and we also would invite the house elves. As jack walksd out of the cell I heard him say "what a prank" disbelievingly. He's so weird

 **an: the second to last chapter… this is so sad alexa play despacito**


	59. Chapter 59

**An: wow I haven't posted in forever sorry about that but last chapter then I get to make a sequal and of course finish hunted or maybe actually post a chapter of it for once in my life cough cough me cough cough**

Jack pov

This prank has been going on for wayyyy too long. This is getting ridonculous. I mean voldemort? Polyjuice potion? House elves? My manz do you rilly axpect me to belief that? These actors aren't really even that good anyway. I'm also like 99% sure that crutchie is an actor too but he might just be someone who is really gulibull. I'm not though so I know this isn't a prank. He mprobably doesnt actually like me anyways because he's just an actor but oh well he could. I have lost an entire year of education beacuse of this prank they better admit it tonight at the leaving feast or else I will have to go theough more of this. Although I like the people here especally crutchunch.

"What's up my manz" I said to crutchie as I sat down next to him for the leaving feast.

"Hey jack" he said kissingly. "Do you know who won the house cup because i dont" he said wonderingly.

"No" I said prankedly. "It's probabky like ravenclaw or gryffindor or something"

"Yeah" he said agreeingly. Racenclaw is full of nerds so they get lots of house elf points and everyone knows dumbledore likes gryffindor the best so he gives them points for no reason. Haha look at how casually I'm talkingabout this. What a prank

Oh look the feast is starting and ritah skeetah is getting up to talk and confess that this is all a prank. She said leavingly "hey guys I won't be headmaster next year which is really sad I was going to start the bachelor since the bachelorette was such a sucsess. But sadly dumbledoar will be back next year even though I'm obiously the better headmaster. Maybe I'll give some of my suggestions to him before I leave. But anyways I'll miss you all. And now I will announce the winner of the house cup. It is…" mcgonnalallallalaall handed ritah skeetah a piece of paper rutahskeetahsucksly. "Garbage! That's so weird because there's only too people but oh well lets pit up the decorations" ritah skeetah waved her wand and there were suddenyl blobfishes everywhere. Kathgelica started cheering really loudly and they were the only ones cheering. Now when will she confess it's a prank?

"Let's eat" ritah skeetah said pranklessly. Ughhhh that means I'm gonna have to wait even longer for them to confess that it's a prank. My friends are way too stubborn this was probably mostly rose she's the most stubborn. But I still love her anyway. All of tge plates of food appeared with "magic" even though they probably just used lighting to make it look like the food was gone.

After we ate it was time to go back yo the commone room fullly and pack our stuff for when we leave tomorrow. I went with crutchie to buy some doritos from specs that will last him tge ride home. It was only about 24 so that means his addiction is getting better. Maybe one day the orange that his fingers are stained will fade. Alright now I have to go pack and kiss my bf

The next day we all got on the train. I saw davey who I had kinda forgotten exists because he was livinbf in the forbidden forest as a snake nakedly and he was also naked now because he had burned his clothes. "Davey please take some of my clothes" I said clothedly. He took them gratefully.

I sat in a apartment with crutcho maria peggy eliza and kathgelica. I'm gonna miss these guys over the summer. We all gave eachother our phone numbers which we hadn't done before because there's no service in hogwarts. Aaron found that very challenging since he has a muggle girlfrined. He literally screamed from happiness when we got within distance from service. Even though there all actors I dont care I like these people.

We got to the train station and I was really sad because I had to say goodbye to everyone. Who knows at any point in the summer someone could confess that it's a prank and I would never see these guys again. I kissed crutchie publically.

"Can I meet your parents" crutchie asked lovingly. Oh yeah those people I haven't seen them since I left for school or talked to them. We walked over to where my adopted parents were.

"Hey guys this is my bf crutcho" I said gayly. They looked kind of suprised at that so I said "oh btw I'm gay" I said comingoutly.

"Ok lit" my adoptive dad said uncoolly.

"Please don't say that ever again" I said cringely.

I turned to crutchey homosexually. "See you later aligator"

Awww he's leaving that's so sad. I will see him again over the summer. Then I left with my adoptive parents prankedly.

 **an: AHHHHH so that's it. I will make a sequal at some point soon and maybe focus more on hunted we'll see. Thank you so much to the people who have made it all the way through my trash story I hope you all keep reading my fics. Byeeeeee**


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